Promoted from the Ricochet Member Feed by Editors Created with Sketch. Discussing Jim Webb’s Exit with the Vietnamese Guy He Killed

Jeff Ditzler Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member
By Jeff Ditzler
Jeff Ditzler Member
I have a personal blog here, which has all my Ricochet stuff plus some things that are just of local interest or a little too edgy for Ricochet.
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13 COMMENTS
 

Pavnbattle

This week, former Virginia Sen. Jim Webb dropped out of the Democratic presidential primaries. Here to comment, via seance, is Demh So Dimh, the Viet Cong member Webb killed in 1969.

TLD: Comrade Dimh, I understand this is the first American political debate you’ve seen. Any first impressions?

DSD: Sheryl Crow’s rendition of your national anthem allowed me to understand the American military better than fighting them in combat did. If that is what they must listen to, no wonder they are not afraid to die.

TLD: Good point. Do you think any of the candidates on stage could appeal to Viet Cong voters?

DSD: Why would they? We are not American citizens, and most of us are also dead.

TLD: You could still be a major voting bloc in Chicago.

DSD: Oh, right. Well, in that case, I think Bernie Sanders has a point about corporate power, but his economics are a little too far left for my liking.

TLD: Were you surprised to hear yourself mentioned in the debate? Senator Webb mentioned you when the candidates were asked who the enemies were that they were most proud of, and it caused a bit of a stir.

DSD: Really? He mentioned someone who was trying to kill him, instead of a domestic political enemy, and he’s the odd one out?

TLD: Yes. All the others mentioned domestic political forces.

DSD: You know I was trying to kill him, right? I wasn’t blocking a bill he had proposed. I wasn’t raising money to run attack ads against him. I. Was. Trying. To. Kill. Him. I threw a small bomb at him with the intention of blasting him into little bits, and —

TLD: Comrade Dimh, I understand you have strong feelings, but —

DSD: I don’t mean to get angry, but if he thinks I’m his enemy, promote him from lieutenant to Captain Obvious. And your political class thinks that’s weird?

TLD: Some of them do, yes.

DSD: This is why I will never understand your culture.

TLD: Would you consider Senator Webb the enemy you’re most proud of?

DSD: Actually, no. I’m more angry at the Pho Sho restaurant in Shamokin, Pennsylvania. [Code of Conduct violation] stole my family’s banh mi recipe. [Code of Conduct violation].

TLD: Wrapping up, are there any other aspects of American culture that fascinate you?

DSD: I’ve been trying to get into your baseball, but I just can’t bring myself to follow it that much. The last time I threw a small, round object, it didn’t turn out so well.

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  1. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw

    Like.

    • #1
    • October 22, 2015, at 5:31 AM PDT
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  2. jmelvin Member
    jmelvin

    Very nice. This is Main Feed material.

    • #2
    • October 22, 2015, at 6:26 AM PDT
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  3. Profile Photo Member

    Nicely done.

    • #3
    • October 22, 2015, at 6:31 AM PDT
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  4. Oblomov Member
    Oblomov

    Yup, good stuff.

    • #4
    • October 22, 2015, at 7:17 AM PDT
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  5. Manfred Arcane Inactive
    Manfred Arcane

    Bloody good, mate.

    • #5
    • October 22, 2015, at 7:53 AM PDT
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  6. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice

    Nice! Perhaps the seance could be a regular feature. I’ll bet PT Barnum and Sir Edmund Hillary are available.

    • #6
    • October 22, 2015, at 8:07 AM PDT
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  7. James Gawron Thatcher
    James Gawron Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    TLD,

    DSD: You know I was trying to kill him, right? I wasn’t blocking a bill he had proposed. I wasn’t raising money to run attack ads against him. I. Was. Trying. To. Kill. Him. I threw a small bomb at him with the intention of blasting him into little bits, and —

    Far out man, I mean really wild, I mean really far out.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #7
    • October 22, 2015, at 9:03 AM PDT
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  8. Marion Evans Inactive
    Marion Evans

    Principles of Democrat enemy-ology (I made it up. It means the ability to discern your enemies):

    1- If a person or a group of persons or a country wants to kill you, they probably just need a hug. They are not enemies, they are hug-seeking people. See how Obama hugged Cuba, Iran etc. The hug will distract them from their decades-long vow to pound you into the ground.

    2- Your true enemies are the people who don’t care about a Democrat’s hug. For example, Republicans, the NRA, Putin etc.

    • #8
    • October 22, 2015, at 9:51 AM PDT
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  9. Layla Member
    Layla Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Funniest thing I’ve read today. Thank you! :)

    • #9
    • October 22, 2015, at 9:57 AM PDT
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  10. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.

    • #10
    • October 22, 2015, at 11:16 AM PDT
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  11. Cat III Member
    Cat III

    Why did I wait until just now to read this? Great job Dutchman.

    • #11
    • October 22, 2015, at 8:31 PM PDT
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  12. Jeff Ditzler Member
    Jeff Ditzler Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member
    Post author

    I was originally going to write “the Pho Sho restaurant in Walla Walla, Washington”, but then I Googled and found out there actually is (or was- apparently it closed recently) a restaurant called Pho Sho in Walla Walla, Washington.

    Google is also how I found the term “banh mi”. I’m still not exactly sure what that is.

    • #12
    • October 23, 2015, at 6:21 AM PDT
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  13. profdlp Inactive
    profdlp

    The Lost Dutchman:

    …Google is also how I found the term “banh mi”. I’m still not exactly sure what that is.

    It’s Vietnamese for “Improvised Explosive Device”.

    • #13
    • October 23, 2015, at 8:44 PM PDT
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