Ask Amelia: Unequally Yoked?

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday, which means it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to share her advice on mani-pedis, matrimony, and Metamucil.

How long before pedicures are included in Obamacare? Because I can’t wait much longer; it’s getting hard to put on boots. — Kender M.

Dear Kender,

I can’t imagine that Obama would stand for some people being able to afford pedicures while others have to trim their own toenails. The procedure should be considered an essential podiatric service. Somebody should talk to Bernie Sanders about this, really. Sounds like something he’d be into.

 

Should I marry someone who is my political and spiritual opposite? Can a Conservative Christian (me) and a liberal atheist (her) be successful in marriage? — Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Gosh, that is a big question. By asking it, I suspect that you might already know your answer, but don’t like it. Most dating sites won’t match up Republicans with Democrats, because those couples tend not to be successful. For Christians who consider marriage a covenant and/or sacrament, how does an atheist partner fit into that?

For both politics and religion, it likely matters how important those are to you. If they’re a key part of your values system and way of life, it could be really difficult to reconcile that. It seems to me that children would be a significant issue. If you’re planning on having kids, what will you teach them? It’s a parent’s job to teach values (whether or not the child embraces or keeps them), so which would you teach the kids? If you’re not going to have children, I suppose you could simply try not to discuss politics or religion, but that will leave out most substantive discussions, as world views and values are largely intertwined in those two forbidden subjects.

Of course, I don’t know you, your special lady friend, or your situation. There are always those who beat the odds. Think about it carefully and prayerfully, and make the best decision you can for both of your futures. I’m wishing you all of the best!

 

This election season is making me constipated. Do I need more fiber in my diet? — @SHannitysHair

Dear Hair,

Fiber is an important part of any healthy diet, and an election cycle is enough to make anyone sick. With more than year to go, you’d better consult a physician and a sommelier.

 

Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!
Want to submit a question? Tweet using #AskAmHam or e-mail askamelia@mail.com

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  1. Mike LaRoche Member
    Mike LaRoche
    @MikeLaRoche

    Amelia Hamilton:

    Should I marry someone who is my political and spiritual opposite? Can a Conservative Christian (me) and a liberal atheist (her) be successful in marriage? — Anonymous

    Dear Anonymous,

    Gosh, that is a big question. By asking it, I suspect that you might already know your answer, but don’t like it. Most dating sites won’t match up Republicans with Democrats, because those couples tend not to be successful. For Christians who consider marriage a covenant and/or sacrament, how does an atheist partner fit into that?

    For both politics and religion, it likely matters how important those are to you. If they’re a key part of your values system and way of life, it could be really difficult to reconcile that. It seems to me that children would be a significant issue. If you’re planning on having kids, what will you teach them? It’s a parent’s job to teach values (whether or not the child embraces or keeps them), so which would you teach the kids? If you’re not going to have children, I suppose you could simply try not to discuss politics or religion, but that will leave out most substantive discussions, as world views and values are largely intertwined in those two forbidden subjects.

    Of course, I don’t know you, your special lady friend, or your situation. There are always those who beat the odds. Think about it carefully and prayerfully, and make the best decision you can for both of your futures. I’m wishing you all of the best.

    Paula Abdul was wrong.

    • #1
  2. BrentB67 Member
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Dear Anonymous,

    No, of course not. This sounds like she is ridiculously hot and you are willing to look past the obvious. Having tried this it is doomed to fail, but don’t let that stop you. It didn’t stop me.

    Do not buy the ring.

    Have fun this weekend.

    • #2
  3. Man With the Axe Member
    Man With the Axe
    @ManWiththeAxe

    Amelia Hamilton: This election season is making me constipated. Do I need more fiber in my diet? — @SHannitysHair

    You can’t be any more full of it than the candidates are.

    • #3
  4. Man With the Axe Member
    Man With the Axe
    @ManWiththeAxe

    Amelia Hamilton: How long before pedicures are included in Obamacare? Because I can’t wait much longer; it’s getting hard to put on boots. — Kender M.

    Dear Kender, I can’t imagine that Obama would stand for some people being able to afford pedicures while others have to trim their own toenails. The procedure should be considered an essential podiatric service. Somebody should talk to Bernie Sanders about this, really. Sounds like something he’d be into.

    Pedicures are not currently covered by Medicare, and I doubt that Obamacare will cover them any time soon. I recommend asking your podiatrist to give you a pedicure and report to the insurance company that he gave you some covered service. This works well, as you get a free service, the doctor gets paid, and there is no victim. Everybody wins.

    • #4
  5. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    • #5
  6. Larry3435 Member
    Larry3435
    @Larry3435

    “With more than year to go, you’d better consult a physician and a sommelier.”

    Skip the sommelier.  If the debates are making you queasy, why would you want to add a professional peddler of pretension to the mix?  There are only two kinds of wine – ones you like, and ones you don’t.  If that doesn’t work, try Scotch.

    • #6
  7. BrentB67 Member
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Larry3435:“With more than year to go, you’d better consult a physician and a sommelier.”

    Skip the sommelier. If the debates are making you queasy, why would you want to add a professional peddler of pretension to the mix? There are only two kinds of wine – ones you like, and ones you don’t. If that doesn’t work, try Scotch.

    I like the ones that go well with hot atheists.

    • #7
  8. BrentB67 Member
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Jimmy Carter:Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    Is that like “you don’t have to buy me a present this year.”?

    • #8
  9. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    BrentB67:

    Jimmy Carter:Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    Is that like “you don’t have to buy me a present this year.”?

    More like,”Thank God Yer an atheist, so I don’t ever have to buy You Christmas presents.”

    • #9
  10. Mike LaRoche Member
    Mike LaRoche
    @MikeLaRoche

    Jimmy Carter:

    BrentB67:

    Jimmy Carter:Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    Is that like “you don’t have to buy me a present this year.”?

    More like,”Thank God Yer an atheist, so I don’t ever have to buy You Christmas presents.”

    Yeah, but you’ll probably have to spring for Darwin’s birthday gifts.

    • #10
  11. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Mike LaRoche:

    Jimmy Carter:

    BrentB67:

    Jimmy Carter:Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    Is that like “you don’t have to buy me a present this year.”?

    More like,”Thank God Yer an atheist, so I don’t ever have to buy You Christmas presents.”

    Yeah, but you’ll probably have to spring for Darwin’s birthday gifts.

    Just great. Anniversaries are already impossible to remember. How in the [predacted; awaiting Fred Cole’s permission] do You remember Darwin’s birthday?

    • #11
  12. BrentB67 Member
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Jimmy Carter:

    BrentB67:

    Jimmy Carter:Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    Is that like “you don’t have to buy me a present this year.”?

    More like,”Thank God Yer an atheist, so I don’t ever have to buy You Christmas presents.”

    Fred puts out the nativity and celebrates Christmas. Don’t think Yer gettin off easy courtin’ an atheist. Gonna have to spring for Christmas and Darwin’s Birthday.

    • #12
  13. Sandy Member
    Sandy
    @Sandy

    Jimmy Carter:

    Mike LaRoche:

    Jimmy Carter:

    BrentB67:

    Jimmy Carter:Hay, Anonymous,

    Go for it. There’ll be no pressure or last minute shopping at 7-11 come Christmas time.

    Is that like “you don’t have to buy me a present this year.”?

    More like,”Thank God Yer an atheist, so I don’t ever have to buy You Christmas presents.”

    Yeah, but you’ll probably have to spring for Darwin’s birthday gifts.

    Just great. Anniversaries are already impossible to remember. How in the [predacted; awaiting Fred Cole’s permission] do You remember Darwin’s birthday?

    If I could, I’d award this best and most hilarious comment of the day.  Getting Fred Cole and Darwin into the same sentence is brilliant, but “predacted” is genius.

    • #13
  14. J. D. Fitzpatrick Member
    J. D. Fitzpatrick
    @JDFitzpatrick

    Should I marry someone who is my political and spiritual opposite? Can a Conservative Christian (me) and a liberal atheist (her) be successful in marriage? — Anonymous

    No. Just remember: when marriage begins, the fun ends. So you better have a relationship based on more than “fun.”

    (Also been there done that.)

    • #14
  15. PHCheese Member
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    So Kender M has already got his Viagra if its hard while putting on his boots . Any problems after that, call a tow truck.

    • #15
  16. TalkGOP Member
    TalkGOP
    @TalkGOP

    That’s the problem with marrying atheists. They’re  always evolving new holidays you have to buy them a gift for.

    • #16
  17. drlorentz Member
    drlorentz
    @drlorentz

    These posts always make me think of this song by John Prine:

    • #17
  18. Jules PA Member
    Jules PA
    @JulesPA

    Sandy: “predacted” is genius.

    i agree. Predacted. Phenomenal word, Jimmy Carter is great at genius.

    • #18
  19. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Where were you last week when I was looking for you?

    • #19
  20. Amelia Hamilton Contributor
    Amelia Hamilton
    @AmeliaHamilton

    Man With the Axe:

    Amelia Hamilton: This election season is making me constipated. Do I need more fiber in my diet? — @SHannitysHair

    You can’t be any more full of it than the candidates are.

    Oh, yes, he can.

    • #20

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