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Use That Turn Signal!
My last rant (about tattoos, here) was so much fun that I’m going to try another. This one’s for you, Buster.
Drivers who don’t signal drive me crazy. I mean, they make me wish that I that I was driving a 007-mobile, complete with mini-sidewinder missiles, lovingly hand-crafted by Q himself. Whoosh . . . BOOM! Take that, you ingrate!
I know, part of it is my Emperor of the World complex. How dare you get in my way!
Often the lack of a turn signal makes no practical difference. The problem is simply that the other driver is doing something, anything, that is slowing me down. I realize that I have no greater right to use the road than the next guy. If he needs to turn right at that light, and there’s a a pedestrian crossing in front of him, so he needs to stop to make the turn, then I’m stuck stopping behind him. It’s nobody’s fault. Not even the Romans.
OK, maybe it’s partially the fault of the pedestrian, who is some collegiate nitwit, brain-addled from long-term exposure to tattoo ink, no doubt, walking at the pace of a 94-year-old recovering from hip surgery because he has his eyes glued to his iPhone … Wait, that’s another rant.
Back to this guy stopped in front of me so he can make a right-hand turn. I have no legitimate basis for resentment. But I’m Dr. Banner here, trying to contain the Green Guy. I’ll settle for an illegitimate basis for my resentment. If the bum didn’t signal, I have a reason to blame him. Sort of.
Missile away!
In fairness, I don’t think it’s all about my wanting to rule the world, or at least be treated as if I do. Part of it is a response to discourtesy and a lack of appreciation.
You see, my dear non-signaler, we’re actually engaged in a cooperative enterprise out here on the highways and byways of our great land. We’re all trying to get where we need to go, safely and rapidly, without getting in one another’s way or, heaven forbid, crashing into each other.
Some of the most brilliant minds ever to walk the planet designed these amazing machines and terrific roadways so that we ordinary folks can zoom around at a pace inconceivable to Pharoah or, for that matter, to Thomas Jefferson. Organizational geniuses and financial gurus created a vast industry to build these wonders, and made them affordable to the masses. Armies of hard-hat heroes mined and refined the steel, mixed the rubber, put your miracle-machine together, drilled and pumped and refined the oil, and laid the asphalt that makes all of this possible.
All that you need to do, to keep this amazing system functioning smoothly, is flick the turned signal with your darned finger!
You see, it really helps me — and the rest of us — if we know what you’re going to do next. We can change lanes, or slow down, or whatever. One of those brilliant engineers put the lever right there, at the left side of your steering wheel. You don’t even need to lift your hand. Just wave your fingers, you lazy lump! But, apparently, this is just too much to ask.
Missile away! Again!
There is also a safety issue. People don’t seem to realize how weird, and dangerous, is our practice of strapping ourselves into metal boxes and tearing around the planet at breakneck speed. It’s completely unnatural. When I’m driving my truck down the street — even a city street with frustratingly low 30 mph speed limit set, perhaps, by a less-than-brilliant engineer — my truck and I have the kinetic energy of a rhino at full gallop. Highway speed? I’m driving a herd of rampaging elephants. And so is the guy tailgating me.
So come on. Signal, for crying out loud. People who don’t signal should be shot. If they survived my missile attack.
OK, maybe that’s a little extreme. But as far as I’m concerned, if you don’t signal . . .
NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Jeesh! You’ve been walking around inside my head. How about people turning into an one way out drive.
I highly recommend you never move to Michigan.
Well, some now have an excuse, they have a phone stuck in their ear and can’t get it out.
I’m not prone to rant but what used to just amaze me that I no longer must deal with:
ladies getting on public transport knowing the exact change amount required with a line of people waiting, finally opening their purses and begin searching for the coins needed. Used to also get this routine at the supermarket but less so today with the common use of cards.
Yeah, but the folks who really get me are the ones behind you on the freeway/interstate merge lane, who – as you are trying to merge at the dashed lines – cross the solid line behind you to get in place to prevent you from getting on the freeway – and you are ahead of them. Many bad words muttered and dark thoughts thought, primarily involving missiles and .50’s.
I recommend that on general principles.
To the post itself: we had this one a while back, but I will never get tired of ranting (or reading rants) about it.
I think on the last one I noted my issue is with people who don’t understand that they shouldn’t make it so others need to use the right lane as a passing lane. I’ve also found that whatever speed I want to go, it’s not going to fit the prevailing traffic speed. I tend to solve this by going as fast as I can safely and legally go, which is generally the most effective tactic anyway.
Nah. You just cut them off. Some people deserve it.
I had an AMC Eagle of the eighties version. It had a rear window wiper. Quite by accident I discovered that the window washer would squirt about 40 ft if a little hose was removed from the wiper arm. Any time anyone was following me real close I would hit that button and give the car behind me a good soaking. I kept soapy water in it. The offender would almost have to stop to clear their window. I loved it.
Try Mexico, turn signal on, no turns for miles and miles. Emergency flashers as well – Must apply to new drivers. Not ! Do not even start to address parking skills unlearned.
If you see a turn signal on in the South, it was on when they bought the car.
If you have a CDL and get ticketed for changing lanes without signaling it can be deemed reckless driving and get your license revoked.
How about those wonderful autoists who seem to believe that, as long as they use a turn signal, any lane change into any amount of space, is just fine?
Currently developing a defensive driving safety program for work. The three most common incidents in the past decade:
In the process I’ve developed a variety of “First Year Resident’s Syndrome” where I haven’t been so paranoid about driving since they showed us the scary movies in High School Drivers Ed (which in my case was a very long time ago).
My bete noire is people who make a right turn on red, without stopping (usually barely slowing down), yakking away on their cell phone, when pedestrians are present and have the walk signal.
I’m OLD, dammit! I have a RIGHT not to use turn signals. Just like I have RIGHT to have my blinker on when I have no intention of turning.
We had a neighbor that used to quip about turn signals: “are you steering the car or aiming it!”
This one currently tops my list. Infuriating. Though for me it’s from the perspective of the approaching driver who has to slam on his brakes to avoid killing the idiot who turned into my lane. But there are others:
1) Guardians of the Freeway: Two drivers moving side-by-side at the same speed (just below the speed limit) blocking both lanes of a highway, making it impossible for others to pass.
2) Sunday Drivers: Those who saunter down a freeway on-ramp and only decide to reach freeway speed once they are a quarter-mile down the road. Every car behind them and every car approaching from the freeway is put at risk by these bozos.
Pretty much all bad driving comes down to a basic “I am the only human on the planet” sort of cluelessness.
Actually, they are supposed to turn off automatically. On older cars they don’t, and I don’t hear the clicking sounds, so I’m always checking.
This year, Boston edged out nearby Worcester for having the worst drivers in the country. I attribute a great deal of this not merely to an unwillingness to use a turn signal, but to a local driving culture that views their use as a sign of weakness.
Just remember an old defensive driving lesson, “If you see a turn signal, all it means is “Bulb works”.”
I’ll add on: when you have the right of way, you should use it.
At the end of my street is a stop sign, at which I stop to cross a rather busy county road that has a good-sized shoulder. When I stop there, many drivers coming up on my left on the county road, who are pausing in that road to turn left, wave me on to cross – thinking they are being courteous. They are not being courteous. Cars coming up behind them see that they are pausing to turn left and just go around them on the shoulder to the right. If I were to cross when waved on, I would smack right into those cars, which I can’t see approaching because of the raised berm. I have to wave frantically ‘no!!’ to them and sometimes even back my car up to convey to them ‘just take your right of way, for pete’s sake!’
I like the left turn from the right lane with no signal trick.
From a fellow trucker…
Forgot about Guardians of the Freeway, who are also terrible. Every so often I give people the benefit of the doubt, because I might make the same driving mistake, but that’s one I’d never make.
Songwriter
But there are others:
1) Guardians of the Freeway: Two drivers moving side-by-side at the same speed (just below the speed limit) blocking both lanes of a highway, making it impossible for others to pass.
After five miles you invoke the “shoulder are viable pavement” rule, expecially when they are being righteously passive aggressive.
Using your turn signals on the DC beltway puts one at a tactical disadvantage, however I still use mine religiously (in the old meaning, not the spritual nonsense vogue).
I think that in Mexico, a truck will put on his L turn signal to let you know it is safe to pass.
My first thought? Mr. PsychLynne has joined Ricochet under a pseudonym and I never suspected.
Second thought? Oh, it’s not him, because he didn’t also go into the “poor communication” aspect of not signaling, nor did he launch into the never-failed-to-follow rant of drivers who (whether signaling or not) swing left to turn right and vice versa.
I’ve found that surest way to be a carrier of road rage rather than a sufferer is to scrupulously follow the traffic law in exacting detail.
I was just in Worcester last week. Some portion of their driving problems are related to how poorly their roads are laid out with no signage telling you where your exit is until you’re at the exit. Add in more population than the roads are designed for, and everyone starts driving like Mad Max. I’ve been in worse traffic in NYC and LA, but never more chaotic traffic than in Worcester.
I’m almost certain that some areas of the road system in Madison were designed using non-Euclidean geometry.