Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Turtles in the Fast Lane

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday, which means it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your questions about slow drivers, cheap shoppers, and box turtles!

Why do people take it upon themselves to drive courteously? — Frustrated Driver

Dear Driver,

While it is always appropriate to be considerate, hyper-courtesy on the road just slows people down, making life more difficult for everyone. These people must not have anywhere to be, and are quite the opposite of courteous. Left-lane vigilantes must be stopped.

 

I can pretty much tell what my pet box turtle Louise is thinking at any time. Should I open with that on a first date or save it for a depth-builder?

— Commander Argon9

Dear Commander (may I call you “Commander?”),

Assuming that you’re not dating Louise, I think that’s something you should keep to yourself, at least until you’ve got a ring on her finger. Maybe allude to it, tell her you love animals, that you’re a responsible and loving pet owner, but leave the mind reading to yourself.

Unless you met the object of your courtship on a box turtle-related dating site. In that case, it seems like something with which to lead.

 

Amelia,

Why do people wait in line for hours for free or cheap stuff? Don’t they value their time?

— Line Loather

Dear Loather,

Well, a deal is a deal. You can’t blame people for wanting one. Unless you’re in a socialist country. There, they’re in line to get the scraps the government deigns to give them. If you’re talking about America, though, lines are an irritating part of capitalism, but I’ll take it. Stop being anti-lineist.

 

Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!

Want to ask a question? Tweet your questions using #AskAmHam or e-mail AskAmelia@mail.com.

There are 36 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Lash LaRoche Inactive

    I hate it when people drive slowly in the fast lane.

    • #1
    • August 28, 2015, at 4:37 PM PDT
    • Like
  2. Debra Inactive

    I guess I don’t quite understand the question from Frustrated Driver. He didn’t ask about hyper-courteous drivers or those who drive slow in the left lane. Driving slow in the left lane is the opposite of courteous. I wonder what sorts of courtesies bother him (or her).

    • #2
    • August 28, 2015, at 4:57 PM PDT
    • Like
  3. PHCheese Member

    Question, do you know how turtles make love?
    Answer, In——————————————– out , in—————————————out

    • #3
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:02 PM PDT
    • Like
  4. BrentB67 Inactive

    Mike LaRoche:I hate it when people drive slowly in the fast lane.

    That is akin to high treason in the Lone Star State, but lately with all these Yankee transplants it is becoming more of an issue.

    • #4
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:14 PM PDT
    • Like
  5. Lash LaRoche Inactive

    BrentB67:

    Mike LaRoche:I hate it when people drive slowly in the fast lane.

    That is akin to high treason in the Lone Star State, but lately with all these Yankee transplants it is becoming more of an issue.

    Yep, Yankees ruin everything.

    • #5
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:15 PM PDT
    • Like
  6. Man With the Axe Member

    There are two kinds of drivers: idiots, who drive slower than me, and maniacs, who drive faster than me.

    • #6
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:22 PM PDT
    • Like
  7. Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… Member

    Why do people take it upon themselves to drive courteously? — Frustrated Driver

    The triumph of hope over experience.

    • #7
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:24 PM PDT
    • Like
  8. Man With the Axe Member

    People really, really like free stuff, and don’t mind waiting in line for, say, an hour to get a free taco that costs $1.50, thereby earning about a fifth of the minimum wage. Hey, but free is free.

    Here’s a question for you: How far will you drive out of your way to save 1¢ on a gallon of gasoline?

    • #8
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:26 PM PDT
    • Like
  9. PHCheese Member

    Axe man, I never look at the price of gas. I know what ever it is it beats walking.

    • #9
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:35 PM PDT
    • Like
  10. Dr. Jimmy Carter Member
    Dr. Jimmy CarterJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Mike LaRoche:

    BrentB67:

    Mike LaRoche:I hate it when people drive slowly in the fast lane.

    That is akin to high treason in the Lone Star State, but lately with all these Yankee transplants it is becoming more of an issue.

    Yep, Yankees ruin everything.

    When I become Dictator of the Republic of TEXAS, I’ll decree that any Passer from the Right lane passing a Passee that’s in the left lane gets one shot at the Passee’s tires.

    Also, license plate characters will be the Owner’s cell number, then You can call or text the driver and tell ’em what You think of Their driving.

    • #10
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:35 PM PDT
    • Like
  11. BrentB67 Inactive

    Man With the Axe:There are two kinds of drivers: idiots, who drive slower than me, and maniacs, who drive faster than me.

    Which one are you?

    • #11
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:35 PM PDT
    • Like
  12. BrentB67 Inactive

    Jimmy Carter:

    Mike LaRoche:

    BrentB67:

    Mike LaRoche:I hate it when people drive slowly in the fast lane.

    That is akin to high treason in the Lone Star State, but lately with all these Yankee transplants it is becoming more of an issue.

    Yep, Yankees ruin everything.

    When I become the Dictator of the Republic of TEXAS, I’ll decree that any Passer from the Right lane passing a Passee that’s in the left lane gets one shot at the Passee’s tires.

    Also, license plate characters will be the Owner’s cell number, then You can call or text the driver and tell ‘em what You think of Their driving.

    Jimmy Carter for Royal Eminent Dictator!

    • #12
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:36 PM PDT
    • Like
  13. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt BartleJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I am a courteous driver because I would like to live in a world where there are courteous drivers. I can’t make anyone else that way, but I can ensure that there is at least one.

    • #13
    • August 28, 2015, at 5:59 PM PDT
    • Like
  14. Man With the Axe Member

    BrentB67:

    Man With the Axe:There are two kinds of drivers: idiots, who drive slower than me, and maniacs, who drive faster than me.

    Which one are you?

    When my wife has to get home as soon as possible because she’s desperate to get to the bathroom, she tells me I’m driving like an idiot. At all other times she tells me I’m driving like a maniac.

    • #14
    • August 28, 2015, at 6:02 PM PDT
    • Like
  15. Leigh Member

    Man With the Axe: People really, really like free stuff, and don’t mind waiting in line for, say, an hour to get a free taco that costs $1.50, thereby earning about a fifth of the minimum wage. Hey, but free is free.

    If you have the time but not the money — if a minimum-wage job isn’t on offer (either as a primary job or as a supplement) — that’s not necessarily a bad deal. I’ve had a few occasions when I would indeed have stood in line an hour for a free meal.

    • #15
    • August 28, 2015, at 6:07 PM PDT
    • Like
  16. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy WeivodaJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    BrentB67:

    Mike LaRoche:I hate it when people drive slowly in the fast lane.

    That is akin to high treason in the Lone Star State, but lately with all these Yankee transplants it is becoming more of an issue.

    I can assure you guys, this is one Yankee that was not holding up traffic when he visited the Lone Star State.

    Wildfire058

    • #16
    • August 28, 2015, at 7:11 PM PDT
    • Like
  17. Seawriter Contributor

    On any limited-access road that has left exits, you are gonna get slower drivers in the left lane. Otherwise you go bombing into that 25 mph exit ramp at 70 mph. And if they have left entrances, ditto. You have to slow down in the left lane or you rear-end the poor driver trying to merge onto the Interstate from a 25 mph entrance ramp.

    And yeah – that happens, even in Texas. I-45 at Allen Parkway. The I-45/I-69/US-288 Interchange.

    On my morning drive to work, I have to get from I-45 Northbound to I-69 (nee US-59) Westbound. You put yourself in the middle-left lane of I-45, cross two lanes of US-288 (after merging from the left of 288, then watching the right lane of 288 become the center lane of US-69 – the two lanes become one) and then cross over to the right lane of I-69, all at 50 mph on a slow day. (Unless there has been an accident and you do this at 5 mph.)

    live for courteous drivers who will slow down a tad and let me in.

    Seawriter

    • #17
    • August 28, 2015, at 8:02 PM PDT
    • Like
  18. Man With the Axe Member

    Leigh: If you have the time but not the money – if a minimum-wage job isn’t on offer (either as a primary job or as a supplement) — that’s not necessarily a bad deal. I’ve had a few occasions when I would indeed have stood in line an hour for a free meal.

    That makes sense. Even putting in an hour’s hard work to get a “free” meal when one is hungry and broke makes sense.

    But how to explain all those people with money in their pockets who wouldn’t work for the minimum wage who will wait in line for a free taco at Taco Bell? I’d be curious to see how long people would wait in line to get a free $10 bill. I’ll bet some would camp out overnight to be first in line.

    • #18
    • August 29, 2015, at 4:03 AM PDT
    • Like
  19. Seawriter Contributor

    Man With the Axe: But how to explain all those people with money in their pockets who wouldn’t work for the minimum wage who will wait in line for a free taco at Taco Bell? I’d be curious to see how long people would wait in line to get a free $10 bill. I’ll bet some would camp out overnight to be first in line.

    It would cost you $100 to find out. Announce on twitter you will give $10 each to the first ten people in line at 7:00 am in such and such a place. I’ll bet a sociology student could get a thesis out of doing this as a study.

    Seawriter

    • #19
    • August 29, 2015, at 4:52 AM PDT
    • Like
  20. Old Buckeye Inactive

    Do you Texans still pull onto the shoulder to let someone pass? I noticed that the last time I visited Texas about 30 years ago. And is it still legal in Texas to drive while drinking a beer? I assume that was also legal back then, because I saw some of that going on too.

    • #20
    • August 29, 2015, at 5:20 AM PDT
    • Like
  21. Dave Carter Podcaster

    My personal rule after many years driving an 18-wheeler across the country: Drive as if the vehicles around you contain members of your own family. Seemed reasonable enough and, more often than not, kept me out of trouble. Lately, though, it seems like some long lost cousins are trying to assassinate me.

    • #21
    • August 29, 2015, at 5:32 AM PDT
    • Like
  22. Man With the Axe Member

    Seawriter:

    Man With the Axe: But how to explain all those people with money in their pockets who wouldn’t work for the minimum wage who will wait in line for a free taco at Taco Bell? I’d be curious to see how long people would wait in line to get a free $10 bill. I’ll bet some would camp out overnight to be first in line.

    It would cost you $100 to find out. Announce on twitter you will give $10 each to the first ten people in line at 7:00 am in such and such a place. I’ll bet a sociology student could get a thesis out of doing this as a study.

    Seawriter

    I would get in my own line in an attempt to keep my costs down to $90.

    • #22
    • August 29, 2015, at 6:40 AM PDT
    • Like
  23. BrentB67 Inactive

    Dave Carter:My personal rule after many years driving an 18-wheeler across the country: Drive as if the vehicles around you contain members of your own family. Seemed reasonable enough and, more often than not, kept me out of trouble. Lately, though, it seems like some long lost cousins are trying to assassinate me.

    My morning is now complete and I can get back to work.

    The finest of patriots is still among us.

    • #23
    • August 29, 2015, at 7:36 AM PDT
    • Like
  24. BrentB67 Inactive

    If we want to “Ask Amelia” Do we just send a PM?

    • #24
    • August 29, 2015, at 7:36 AM PDT
    • Like
  25. Leigh Member

    Man With the Axe: But how to explain all those people with money in their pockets who wouldn’t work for the minimum wage who will wait in line for a free taco at Taco Bell? I’d be curious to see how long people would wait in line to get a free $10 bill. I’ll bet some would camp out overnight to be first in line.

    Some kind of competitive instinct. Combined with the fact that you can text, call all your friends, take selfies, and do Facebook in line.

    • #25
    • August 29, 2015, at 8:14 AM PDT
    • Like
  26. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White MaleJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Leigh:

    Man With the Axe: But how to explain all those people with money in their pockets who wouldn’t work for the minimum wage who will wait in line for a free taco at Taco Bell? I’d be curious to see how long people would wait in line to get a free $10 bill. I’ll bet some would camp out overnight to be first in line.

    Some kind of competitive instinct. Combined with the fact that you can text, call all your friends, take selfies, and do Facebook in line.

    Around here people so that while driving in the left lane.

    • #26
    • August 29, 2015, at 8:18 AM PDT
    • Like
  27. Leigh Member

    Miffed White Male: Around here people so that while driving in the left lane.

    But doing it on the job — even a minimum wage job — might get you fired. Which is a reason standing in line might be more fun.

    • #27
    • August 29, 2015, at 8:32 AM PDT
    • Like
  28. GLDIII Temporarily Essential Reagan
    GLDIII Temporarily EssentialJoined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    BrentB67

    If we want to “Ask Amelia” Do we just send a PM?

    Brett, I just assumed that she just made up the questions she always wanted to answer….

    • #28
    • August 29, 2015, at 6:29 PM PDT
    • Like
  29. Amelia Hamilton Contributor
    Amelia Hamilton

    Brentb67
    Tweet using #askamham or email askamelia@mail.com :-)

    • #29
    • August 29, 2015, at 6:38 PM PDT
    • Like
  30. BrentB67 Inactive

    GLDIII:BrentB67

    If we want to “Ask Amelia” Do we just send a PM?

    Brett,I just assumed that she just made up the questions she always wanted to answer….

    If that is the case we will know soon :)

    • #30
    • August 29, 2015, at 8:40 PM PDT
    • Like

Comments are closed because this post is more than six months old. Please write a new post if you would like to continue this conversation.