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It’s Friday, which means it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your questions about slow drivers, cheap shoppers, and box turtles!
Why do people take it upon themselves to drive courteously? — Frustrated Driver
While it is always appropriate to be considerate, hyper-courtesy on the road just slows people down, making life more difficult for everyone. These people must not have anywhere to be, and are quite the opposite of courteous. Left-lane vigilantes must be stopped.
I can pretty much tell what my pet box turtle Louise is thinking at any time. Should I open with that on a first date or save it for a depth-builder?
— Commander Argon9
Dear Commander (may I call you “Commander?”),
Assuming that you’re not dating Louise, I think that’s something you should keep to yourself, at least until you’ve got a ring on her finger. Maybe allude to it, tell her you love animals, that you’re a responsible and loving pet owner, but leave the mind reading to yourself.
Unless you met the object of your courtship on a box turtle-related dating site. In that case, it seems like something with which to lead.
Why do people wait in line for hours for free or cheap stuff? Don’t they value their time?
— Line Loather
Well, a deal is a deal. You can’t blame people for wanting one. Unless you’re in a socialist country. There, they’re in line to get the scraps the government deigns to give them. If you’re talking about America, though, lines are an irritating part of capitalism, but I’ll take it. Stop being anti-lineist.
Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!
Want to ask a question? Tweet your questions using #AskAmHam or e-mail AskAmelia@mail.com.