Let Us Now Ban 10 Things

 

And all decent placesTell me what you would like to ban, and I will tell you who you are. It occurred to me that a book of the ten things that a hundred intellectuals would like to ban would be very revealing. — Theodore Dalrymple

I’m uncertain if I qualify as an intellectual, but since Dalrymple has tossed down a gauntlet that few people will pick up, I’ll propose some bans. For the record, if I were suddenly made Philosopher-King of the world, I wouldn’t ban these things. Neither would I vote to ban them, should some deranged polity vote me in as their representative. These are less public policy proposals than pure personal dislike. Please, jump in with the same spirit.

1) Reality TV. I realize that it’s popular to watch people strip-mine their own lives, but it tends to bring out the worst in the stars and their fans.

Oscar Mike Golf

2) Twitter. It can indeed do some good in breaking news, but more people use it to organize angry mobs. It generates more heat than light.

Coming soon

 

3) Cliche-ridden prose. Whenever someone says they want government out of the bedroom, ask if it’s okay for a man to beat a woman, provided it’s in a bedroom. Say what you actually mean, not what approximates what you sort of think you mean.

lets roll

 

4) Satirical Websites that try to pass for real news. There’s way too much craziness in the world without people getting riled-up over jokes. The human capacity for outrage is limited, and every drop of anger wasted on a fake news story is a drop that can’t be channeled towards a legitimate outrage.

 

04-fake-news

5) Vodka. If you’re going to get drunk, then you need to taste something. Besides, vodka is commie juice and we beat them. Go bourbon.

05 vodka

6) Drive-thru fast food. I totally get being too lazy to cook. But at least get out of the car. Park it, and then walk ten yards to get your supersized McHeartattack.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJye229QbVs

7) Crummy RSS feeds.  I’m a fan of my Really Simple Syndication reader: I can keep up with everything authors write. But some websites (*cough*) National Review and Patheos (*cough*) tweak their feeds so you need to click through to the site to read the whole article.  I’m still subscribe to NR Digital, but if you’re going to jerk around someone who wants to read everything you write, then I ain’t donating.

love

 

8) Economists. I’m pretty sure that economics is roughly on par with astrology: they both use math, and they both claim to predict the future, but it’s mostly all guesswork. Left-of-center economists were glaringly wrong when they predicted that the Obama stimulus would drop unemployment down to normal levels quickly. Right-of-center economists were glaringly wrong when they predicted that the aforementioned stimulus would cause mass inflation. It’s all hogwash. Microeconomics might be a science, but macroeconomics is theology.

Derp Derp Derp!

 

9) The Oscars. They’re too skewed to the present. We shouldn’t give a movie an award till it’s at least ten years old.

Awards

 

10) Listicles. They encourage bad writing. A good article ought to be carefully crafted, with a beginning, middle, and end. Listicles ruin it. They’re easy on the reader and too easy on the writer.

Grumpy

Okay, Ricochetti, what would you ban?

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  1. 1967mustangman Member
    1967mustangman
    @1967mustangman

    Feeling rather judgemental today are we?

    • #1
  2. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    First, I would ban the word listicles…

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Mike Hubbard: 10) Listicles. They encourage bad writing. A good article ought to be carefully crafted, with a beginning, middle, and end. Listicles ruin it. They’re easy on the reader and too easy on the writer.

    Uh, isn’t this article a listicle?

    • #3
  4. Frank Soto Contributor
    Frank Soto
    @FrankSoto

    anonymous:

    Mike Hubbard: Okay, Ricochetti, what would you ban?

    Banning stuff. Let a thousand flowers bloom; let 999 wilt unpollinated.

    Beat me to it.

    • #4
  5. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Frank Soto:

    anonymous:

    Mike Hubbard: Okay, Ricochetti, what would you ban?

    Banning stuff. Let a thousand flowers bloom; let 999 wilt unpollinated.

    Beat me to it.

    You wouldn’t even ban a certain sock puppet, Frank?

    • #5
  6. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    We need to ban the people who want to ban banning.

    • #6
  7. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    Ban Joe?

    • #7
  8. user_88846 Member
    user_88846
    @MikeHubbard

    1967mustangman:Feeling rather judgmental today are we?

    Am I breathing?

    Arahant:

    Uh, isn’t this article a listicle?

    Yes.   I’m trying to reinforce the point that I wouldn’t actually ban the things I suggested banning.  Since I’m obviously guilty of doing one thing thing I suggested banning, I’m heading off the people who watch reality TV on their iPhones as they go through the drive thru with vodka.

    • #8
  9. 10 cents Member
    10 cents
    @

    I believe we should all live in harmony and ban nothing.

    • #9
  10. Tom Meyer Contributor
    Tom Meyer
    @tommeyer

    Those pre-trailer commercials at movie theaters. I came for a movie, consarnit. Stop giving me advertisements that somehow make TV look good.

    • #10
  11. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Mike Hubbard: I’m heading off the people who watch reality TV on their iPhones as they go through the drive thru with vodka.

    That is quite an image…and there probably are many of them.

    • #11
  12. Tom Meyer Contributor
    Tom Meyer
    @tommeyer

    “No Turn On Red” signs at four way intersections. Our city is notorious for them; my wife has learned to humor my regular tirades.

    • #12
  13. George Savage Contributor
    George Savage
    @GeorgeSavage

    Kabuki Republicans promising to fight to the death to reverse President Obama’s [insert unconstitutional usurpation here].

    • #13
  14. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    That’s a pretty decent list.

    I’d ban the drivers that think the car turning left has right-of-way over the opposite car going straight at a 4-way stop sign.  As a codicil to that, drivers who have the right-of-way but sit there and wave other drivers through instead of taking it.

    • #14
  15. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Casey:Ban Joe?

    ♫♪ Do you know the way to ban Jose?
    It’s been so long I might go wrong and ban Jorge.
    Do you know the way to ban Jose?
    I’m going to find some peace of mind and ban Jose.♪♫

    • #15
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Percival:

    Casey:Ban Joe?

    ♫♪ Do you know the way to ban Jose? It’s been so long I might go wrong and ban Jorge. Do you know the way to ban Jose? I’m going to find some peace of mind and ban Jose.♪♫

    Are you playing that on a banjo?

    • #16
  17. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Arahant:

    Percival:

    Casey:Ban Joe?

    ♫♪ Do you know the way to ban Jose? It’s been so long I might go wrong and ban Jorge. Do you know the way to ban Jose? I’m going to find some peace of mind and ban Jose.♪♫

    Are you playing that on a banjo?

    A cappella, at the moment.  Might have to hunt down a glockenspiel.

    • #17
  18. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    May I just say, this thread is bantastic.

    • #18
  19. 10 cents Member
    10 cents
    @

    Let us sing kumbaya and hold hands.

    • #19
  20. 10 cents Member
    10 cents
    @

    Casey:May I just say, this thread is bantastic.

    Oh, I see you are not a fan.

    • #20
  21. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    If someone says ban She, I’ll scream.

    • #21
  22. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    How about ban people who comment without directly responding to the post as written?

    • #22
  23. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Casey:How about ban people who comment without directly responding to the post as written?

    How about a benefit to help out the people who comment without directly responding to the post as written?

    We could call it Band-Aid.

    (Stop it.  You knew it was only a matter of time.)

    • #23
  24. 10 cents Member
    10 cents
    @

    Casey:How about ban people who comment without directly responding to the post as written?

    Thanks for sharing this. I feel your pain.

    • #24
  25. Casey Member
    Casey
    @Casey

    I would encourage you all to go back and focus on the purpose of Mike’s original post – the one man ban.

    • #25
  26. 10 cents Member
    10 cents
    @

    Casey:I would encourage you all to go back and focus on the purpose of Mike’s original post – the one man ban.

    Casey, I am warning you. Next time we might have to …..

    • #26
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Casey:If someone says ban She, I’ll scream.

    Ban She!

    • #27
  28. 10 cents Member
    10 cents
    @

    Mike,

    What do you mean 10 THINGS? Why pick on one number? How about we ban Mike Things too while we are at it?  Come on guy watch the attributive nouns, okay?

    • #28
  29. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    10 cents:Mike,

    What do you mean 10 THINGS? Why pick on one number? How about we ban Mike Things too while we are at it? Come on guy watch the attributive nouns, okay?

    Eh, 10 Things works for me.

    • #29
  30. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Are you in a band?

    • #30

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