CPPR 490: Standing Up for Barbara Bush’s Organelles

 

Barbara-BushIn the last ten days, we learned Lindsey Graham is a teenage girl, the Donald thinks rapists should buy us a fence, Mike Huckabee is tapped in to the D.C. pagan scene, Rand Paul is running for sheriff of Pitkin County, Ben Carson just wants to go home, and you never, ever pick “dare” around Chris Christie.  Never.

But what does it all mean?  Let’s find out together. If you need a refresher on where we’ve been, CPPR 500 can be found here. This week’s presidential power rankings …

21. Governor George Pataki

We all owe Donald Trump a sincere debt of gratitude.

Top minds have debated for generations whether fire would be an effective weapon against the armies of the undead during a zombie apocalypse. Back when I was a graduate student pursuing my masters in Zombie Studies at Oberlin, we used to sit for hours in the student lounge, debating whether a creature that is wholly impervious to pain and functions beyond the natural limitations imposed by fear and reason could be successfully attacked with fire.

Thanks to the Donald, we now have our answer.

For reasons that surpass all understanding, Donald Trump launched a flame war via Twitter with George Pataki, an undead political creature from the early 2000s stalking the fringes of the Republican Party.  Throwing a haymaker at Pataki out of nowhere is consistent with Trump’s early campaign strategy, the essence of which is captured nicely by this bumper sticker, seen on the back of the Donald’s own 2015 Bentley Mulsanne:

Trumper Sticker

Zombtaki’s Twitter response to Trump’s fusillade:

Pataki

Exactly the soulless pabulum you would expect from a flame-resistant zombie. Next time, Donald, aim for the head.

20. Governor Piyush Jindal

In the week since the Supreme Court required gays and lesbians to present themselves before a government official and have their sexual preference documented if they want to receive benefits (think about it … ), most Republicans resisted the urge to go off chasing rainbows. A small handful of candidates couldn’t help themselves (see the Cruz missile, infra), but as a group, Republicans maintained a wary distance from an issue most agree is a sure loser for the GOP.

But not Bobby Jindal. Bobby Jindal went hell bent for leather (and sequins) on the gay marriage issue, launching a one-man judicial war against Obergefell v. Hodges.

It lasted four days and it ended with two separate courts telling him he had no leg to stand on, but his point was made: Bobby Jindal is to the right of Jesus on social issues. Of course, were Jesus running in 2016, he’d struggle to carry Utah.

Thanks for playing, Bobby.

19. Senator Jim Webb

I am holding off on buying tickets to Jim Webb’s political funeral until we see the first good polling from a Southern state conducted entirely after Webb wrapped himself in the Confederate flag. While we wait, allow me to recommend Harry Enten’s piece from FiveThirtyEight on just how doomed Webb really is.

Part of me hopes you’re wrong, Harry.

18. Governor Lincoln Chafee

This week, Lincoln Chafee came out in support of bringianonymous-logong Edward Snowden home.

A particularly gamey slice of the Democratic Party stood up in their lead-shielded hacker dens and cheered uproariously for Governor Chafee’s brave stand on behalf of the patron weasel of the paranoid Left. Chafee will be rewarded for his courage with a hefty book advance and the chance to give speeches at $50,000 a pop.

In other news, Chafee slipped to third in the hotly contested Pawtucket dogcatcher race.

17. Senator Lindsey Graham

The State Department released a tranche of Hillary’s digital garbage this week.  The Washington Right began gleefully digging through it, looking for the smoking gun that will end her run for the White House. Instead, they found a mole.

According to one of Hillary’s e-mails from Chicago Mercantile Exchange Chairman Terry Duffy – you know, because Hillary isn’t a Wall Street whore or anything – Lindsey Graham adores Hillary Clinton.

Per Chairman T. Duff: “Also I had dinner last night with a mutual friend of ours, Sen. Lindsay [sic] Graham.  Lindsay always talks [about] how much he likes you and said if I were to be in contact with you to say hi from him.”

Set aside, if you can, that we’re talking about a Republican candidate for president gushing about what, in the eyes of most Republicans, is the demon spawn of Iblis. Let’s assume you can stomach that. What is the GOP to do with the revelation that Lindsey Graham is a 14-year old girl? “He always talks about how much he likes you?” “Say hi from him?”

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Does he have posters of her up in his room, too?  Does he have a notebook where he writes “Lindsey Clinton. Lindsey Graham Clinton. Mr. and Mrs. Hillary Graham-Clinton?”

I’ll bet he dots the ‘i’ in Lindsey with a heart.

16. Doctor Ben Carson

The Western Conservative Summit was held this weekend at a Shoney’s outside Lubbock, TX (at least, that’s what my invitation said). In attendance were presidential hopefuls Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, Rick Santorum, Zombtaki, Rick Perry, Scott Walker … and Ted Cruz’s dad.

But when the last talk had been given and the last question asked, the winner of this year’s WCS Straw Poll was none other than Dr. Ben Carson, world-renowned neurosurgeon and guy who likes politics.

Or at least, so we thought.

Now, I am open to the possibility that this is genius. Telling the world just how much you hate the idea of being president might be exactly what the electorate needs to hear to get super enthused about your candidacy.

But something tells me that as we get closer and closer to rug-cutting time, Dr. Carson’s “Who, me?” approach will have to give way to something a bit more robust if he wants to cobble together a majority and keep that majority awake long enough to win him the nomination.

15. Governor Mike Huckabee

As part of the inevitable debate over everything from nullification to jurisdiction stripping following this week’s Supreme Court decisions, noted legal scholar Mike Huckabee wrote a piece for USA Today in which he announced – using only small words – that were he elected emperor president, he would “never bow down to the false gods of judicial supremacy.”

This phrase struck me as odd. It’s not unusual for a fire and brimstone candidate to lean heavily on religious imagery in his speeches, and Mike Huckabee is certainly well known for getting himself nailed to the occasional cross of gold. But what jumped out at me was “false gods.” Plural. Usually, when you see this well-worn phrase, it’s in the singular. If you see it in the plural, the candidate is talking about two distinct evils. Consider this quote from one of Huckabee’s 2008 campaign speeches: “In my administration, we will stand up for American values. As president, I will never bow down to the false gods of Polish vodka and angel dust.”

See? Plural gods; plural evils.

But in the USA Today piece, Huckabee uses the plural construction in reference to the single evil of judicial supremacy. This isn’t just a shop-warn preacherism lazily employed for effect; the plural was a deliberate choice.

The implication is clear: Mike Huckabee is aware of at least two false gods of judicial supremacy being actively worshipped somewhere in Washington.

Boy, if that were true it would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?

14. Senator “Ted” Cruznewt_gingrich_2

As he approaches that painful dinner with his mother in September, Cruz has begun grasping at any straw that blows by out on the lonely Texas prairie.

Either that, or he has hired Newt Gingrich as a policy advisor, because this week he let rip a doozy.

In the digital pages of that great conservative ambo, National Review, Senator Cruz proposed a constitutional amendment that would subject Supreme Court justices to periodic confidence votes and potential removal by an angry public. George Will and Andrew McCarthy – both men for whom I have an undying admiration – used the same digital pages to attack and defend Cruz’s idea, respectively.

bad-lawyer-hat__51427_1405418136_1280_1280Debating whether Cruz’s proposal is a good one or a bad one is important and I would be happy to don my lawyer hat and debate the merits with Misters McCarthy and Will deep into the Washington night. But the CPPR doesn’t care if Senator Cruz is right.  The CPPR cares that, right or wrong, this proposal makes Ted Cruz look like he buys tin foil by the case.

Next time Senator Cruz, Andrew McCarthy, George Will, and I get together for a beer – which happens all the time – I look forward to a very lively discussion about the creative ways each of us would take a red pen and a blue pencil to the Constitution.  A great time will be had by all.

But none of us should expect to be the next president of the United States.

13.  Governor Martin O’Malley

I still have no idea who this guy is. Can somebody help me out here?

12.  Senator Rick Santorum

Once, back in the mid-90s, I was sitting at a little coffeehouse in Adams Morgan, minding my own business, when in walks none other than Rick Santorum.

Now, anyone who spent time around D110223_rick_santorum_ap_328.C. joe joints in the nineties knows that Rick Santorum is very particular about his coffee. When Rick walks in and orders a Guillermo with triple lime, he wants it hot, he wants it sweet, and he wants it right freaking now.

But the way he treated the barista in that Adams Morgan coffeehouse that day? It just wasn’t human.

I’m not going to go into all the details here, but suffice it to say that on the car ride to the hospital, the barista and I swore a blood oath that Rick Santorum would never be president of the United States. So far, so good.

11. Senator Rand Paul

I spend a lot of time at conventions. Not recreationally; they bore me witless. But professionally, I have to put in appearances at quite a few events every year and I have learned that what really separates the men from the boys in the conference and convention game isn’t the exhibit space or the AV set-up or the ballrooms; it’s the chow.

You want to have a good convention? Make with the quality finger foods and free booze. A little brie en croûte, a mid-grade pinot grigio … It’s nice.

So I say, a8marijuanas something of an authority on the subject, that I really want to know what the munchies were like at Rand Paul’s stoners-only fundraiser in Denver.

If anybody was there – and can remember – please tell me in the comments what kind of goodies they had lined up at this thing. I’ll bet it was epic.

10.  Governor Chris Christie

PILLOW FIGHT!!!

PIllow Fight

Former presidential candidate and known party animal Mitt Romney invited Marco Rubio and Chris Christie up to his lakeside manse in New Hampshire for a Fourth of July sleepover.

Yeah, that actually happened.

I want to know how this extraordinary thing came to pass.  How is it that, of all the Republican candidates he could have picked to party with, Mitt Romney settled on these two guys?

Chris-ChristieRubio

 

 

 

 

 

How hurt were everybody else’s feelings when they found out about this?

Mitt, I get it. Chris is a fun guy to be around and you were probably hoping Marco would bring his cheerleader wife. And yes, I know Rick Santorum and Bobby Jindal are real downers. And I know Ben always turns in at 8:30 and I know you can’t really let go around Carly because she’s a girl.

And I know how you feel about the way Rand Paul has a good time; it’s not your scene.

But if you’re throwing a slumber party and you don’t invite Perry, Scott, and Ted, you’re out of your mind. From a pillow fort standpoint alone, you left some of your top talent on the bench, Mitt.

Get your head in the game.

9. Carly Fiorina

After spending last CPPR’s Carly Fiorina entry making fun of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann, I was hoping to use this space to say something insightful and thought-provoking about the role of feminism in the modern Republican Party.

But then I saw this picture from the Western Conservative Summit . . .

Presidential Candidates Gather At Western Conservative Summit In Denver

…  and all I could think was “I really hope she doesn’t go crazy and have to be shut down.”

Well, that … and that she looks kinda like Daryl Hall when he goes full lion.

Daryl Hall

8. Senator Bernard Sanders

Quinnipiac says Sanders is up to 33 percent in Iowa. Gravis has him at 21 percent in Florida. PPP puts him at 25 percent in Michigan.  CNN has him within 8 percent of Hillary in New Hampshire.

No surprise, then, that the Clinton camp has officially launched Operation: Destroy Bernie, wherein armies of researchers comb over every aspect of Sanders’ life in search of evidence that he voted for Nixon or some other politically inexcusable thing they could use to put him back in his box. It isn’t going to work. There are two ways to avoid having skeletons in your closet: Don’t have any skeletons or don’t have any closets. Bernie has no closets.

Happy digging, Hillary.

7.  Donald Trump

Donald Trump is a genius. An absolute genius. Pretty WomanI say this for two reasons. First, because I want Trump to like me, buy me stuff, and take me places. Second, because for Trump to win this thing, he had to find a way to be one of the richest men on Earth and simultaneously someone ordinary folks, struggling to get by in a world where the deck is stacked against them, can embrace as one of their own.

And he did it.

It was simple, really, if you think about it. If you’re a billionaire and you want to be perceived as an ordinary Joe Six-Pack, all you have to do is antagonize a group of people richer and more powerful than you are and get them to mistreat you publicly.

By making one (or two) extraordinarily impolitic remarks about Mexican immigrants, Donald Trump brought everyone from NBC to Macy’s down on his oddly-coiffed head. What followed was headline after headline about how he was being punished by big corporations for saying what he believes and how the outrage over his comments could cost him hundreds of millions of dollars.

And as though on cue, establishment Republican candidates began smashing away at Trump for “being outside the mainstream of the Republican Party.” This at a time when the Republican Party’s poll numbers are on a par with swine flu. All the while, Trump gets to say, “I was just standing up for America!” You know, over Fourth of July weekend.

So he’s being punished by powerful people for saying what he believes, the deeply unpopular Republican establishment has disavowed him, and he got to spend America’s birthday telling America how much he loves her.

Donald, you brilliant bastard.

6.  Governor John Kasich

Last time, I proposed that all John Kasich needed to do to gain the Republican nomination was to stride out into the middle of the debate stage, announce in his best Maximus from Gladiator voice, “I am the governor of Ohio. In 2014, I was re-elected with 64 percent of the vote,” then drop the mic and walk off.

Alas, there is a flaw in my plan. The first Republican debate is less than a month away and under the arbitrary rules set by Fox News, only candidates polling in the top ten will be invited to the debate. That means that unless Kasich does something soon to boost his poll numbers, he’ll be on the outside looking in come August 6th. Kasich has to know the importance of getting on that stage, and he must realize that he’ll have, at best, one shot to make an impact on the voters before cut day.  For John Kasich, it’s go big or go home time.

And yet, during this most momentous of weeks for the Republican Party, when other fringy candidates were out there proposing constitutional amendments and Bobby Jindal was doing his best George Wallace impression, John Kasich did, for all intents and purposes, nothing.

Actually, that’s not true. John Kasich went to a wedding. A gay wedding.

Now, John Kasich ain’t no dummy. He knows what he’s doing. If he’s lying low like this right now, it has to be because he’s planning something huge. John must have a strategy for how he is going to go from completely irrelevant to on-every-Republican’s-lips overnight.

Whatever it is, it has to be enormous. It has to be unbelievable. It has to be the answer to every Republican’s most fervent prayers. It has to be the kind of thing Republicans fantasize about in the day and dream about at night.

John Kasich is going to kill Anthony Kennedy.

 5. Governor Rick Perry 

Several notable Republicans have jumped back on the Perry bandwagon in recent weeks. This is an act of impressive personal bravery, because in 2012, that bandwagon crashed into a school bus then burst into flames. But jump they have.

I’m still very much in the once-bitten, twice-shy camp when it comes to Governor Perry, but I would be lying to you even more than usual if I claimed I wasn’t sincerely impressed by his speech at the National Press Club. Rather than comment further now, I recommend you check out the speech yourself, then join me in carefully reconsidering Rick Perry.

Then vote for John Kasich anyway.  I mean, the guy is governor of Ohio and he KILLED ANTHONY KENNEDY.  So what if he’s in jail.

4.  Governor John Ellis Bush 

I’m a huge Kevin Williamson fan. For my money, Kevin is one of the very best in the business. And I am not just saying that because he is holding my family at gun point. I actually mean it. This is why I was utterly shocked when I read Mr. Williamson’s July 2nd piece at National Review Online. Williamson is usually a model of professionalism, but in the opening paragraph of what was ostensibly an article about Rick Perry, Williamson took a gratuitous shot at Governor Bush’s mother.

In the interest of accuracy and thoroughness, I’m going to reproduce the unedited text of what Williamson wrote about Mrs. Bush. I invite any children or other readers with delicate sensibilities to just skip ahead and assume Williamson said something reprehensible and that he is a bad, bad man.

Williamson wrote:

In a field that includes George W. Bush’s kid brother, Rick Perry still manages to be the man who will remind voters of what they remember least fondly about the last Republican president, the metaphorical DNA of Texas politics superseding the literal DNA in Jeb Bush’s mitochondria.

No doubt, Williamson will claim he had no idea mitochondrial DNA is inherited exclusively from your mother.  He will claim that he wouldn’t dream of attacking the former first lady like that, but was trying to make a broader point about all of Governor Bush’s political ancestors, collectively. He’ll blame the notoriously weak Amarillo public school system or try to tell you that Biology isn’t part of the core curriculum at the University of Texas or make some other pathetic attempt to shift the blame.

But I ain’t buying it.

Williamson went after the man’s mama. He said Jeb’s mama got weak genes. I don’t care how much you love Rick Perry, you don’t say something like that about another man’s mama.

Oooh, Kev ain’t right.

I should probably point out that that is a reference to Ghostface Killah’s modern day classic “Wu Banga 101″ off his Supreme Clientele album.

But if his LinkedIn profile is to believed, the one reader out there I can trust to get the reference is none other than Kevin Williamson himself.

If this really is his LinkedIn page, check out the man’s photo. . .

Williamson

Respect.

3.  Senator Marco Rubio 

It took 3,500 words to get around to it, but this is a good time to talk about the big CNN/ORC poll that dropped last Wednesday. First of all, I don’t trust any of the CNN/ORC polls. CNN is fine. They’re a little left of center, but they have a well-established reputation for quality polling.

Orcs, on the other hand, don’t know the first thing about how to do a good poll.

From Ghostface Killah to a Lord of the Rings pun in less than 200 words.  Just mail me my Pulitzer now.

Senator Rubio won the last CNN/ORC poll by one percent over Governor Bush, clocking in at a robust 14 percent of the vote in a crowded field. But in this month’s CNN/ORCfest, Rubio plunged to a mere six percent.

This is Rubio’s worst showing in a poll since before St. Patrick’s Day. If you set aside the highly suspect mid-June NBC/WSJ poll, this is the fourth straight major poll where Rubio’s take dipped below 10 percent. Coming on the heels of an eight-for-nine run of double-digit results, four straight weak numbers culminating in this turkey may be cause for alarm at Camp Rubio. Is Rubio pulling a Ted Cruz?

At this point, I would say Rubio’s sliding scores are more a question of candidate quantity than candidate quality. Rubio has been criss-crossing the country, raising money and playing Truth or Dare, while other Republicans have been bawling out the Supreme Court. Rubio’s lack of visibility may have cost him.

2.  Empress Hillary Clinton 

The Power Rankings game is a zero-sum business. If someone falls a notch, someone else rises a notch. They might not have done anything to deserve it, but sometimes all you need to move up the table is for one of your rivals to move down. You can kill and eat a puppy live on TV, but if your rival eats a cuter puppy, your stock goes up at his expense. That’s the game.

Hillary was ranked third last time; she’s ranked second now. No, she didn’t do anything right. In fact, it was a positively awful week to be Hillary Clinton. This week, the world learned she barely talks to her husband; she can’t run a fax machine; and Santa cuts her hair. It sucks to be Hillary.

But it sucks more to be Marco Rubio polling at six percent.

1.  Governor Scott Walker 

As though more evidence were needed that The New York Times takes its cues from the CPPR, The Times published an extended treatment of the way Scott Walker has used a hard-right turn on social issues in Iowa to move to the head of the pack, but may struggle to hold that lead moving forward.

The Times did drop my thoroughbred racing strategy theme, but that was no doubt an editorial decision to protect the paper from yet another embarrassing CPPR-related plagiarism suit.

It is still too early to tell if the strategy of grabbing a lead and trying to hold it will prove fruitful this early in the game. Stay tuned to find out.

There are 31 comments.

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  1. iWc Coolidge
    iWc
    @iWe

    Thank you – I laughed and laughed!

    • #1
  2. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    iWe:Thank you – I laughed and laughed!

    My pleasure.  Just trying to keep the Ricochet faithful entertained.

    • #2
  3. Jojo Inactive
    Jojo
    @TheDowagerJojo

    Carthago:

    iWe:Thank you – I laughed and laughed!

    My pleasure. Just trying to keep the Ricochet faithful entertained.

    You did, for sure.

    • #3
  4. James Of England Moderator
    James Of England
    @JamesOfEngland

    Jojo:

    Carthago:

    iWe:Thank you – I laughed and laughed!

    My pleasure. Just trying to keep the Ricochet faithful entertained.

    You did, for sure.

    And informed! There’s a lot of good content in these posts.

    • #4
  5. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    Very good sir.

    • #5
  6. James Of England Moderator
    James Of England
    @JamesOfEngland

    If you could be a little less reasoned and thoughtful, though, that would give us something to fight over in the comments.

    • #6
  7. Susan in Seattle Member
    Susan in Seattle
    @SusaninSeattle

    This is terrific!

    • #7
  8. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    This is fantastic news coverage. Thank you.

    • #8
  9. Claire Berlinski, Ed. Editor
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.
    @Claire

    Nice post and very nicely punctuated, Carthago. The effort did not go unnoticed. As a quick pre-emptory explanation of our style sheet — because I’m sure you’re wondering —  we’re in no way consistent about whether the names of publications should be italicized, nor do we have a rule. Until recently, failing to italicize these titles would have been viewed by all civilized men as an abomination. It’s now a matter of great controversy, with, I concede, some logical arguments marshalled on the side of “against,” namely that in a digital format it’s often visually cluttering. I opted here for “consistency with my last decision, at least,” but clearly the Ricochet Supreme Style Court must convene and settle this matter decisively. Amaci curiae are invited as always to weigh in.

    • #9
  10. user_554634 Moderator
    user_554634
    @MikeRapkoch

    This is marvelous. Keep ’em coming.

    • #10
  11. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Carthago: 19. Senator Jim Webb I am holding off on buying tickets to Jim Webb’s political funeral until we see the first good polling from a Southern state conducted entirely after Webb wrapped himself in the Confederate flag. While we wait, allow me to recommend Harry Enten’s piece from FiveThirtyEight on just how doomed Webb really is. Part of me hopes you’re wrong, Harry.

    The vote split required under Enten’s analysis is going to be tough.

    That being said, If you had to pick three candidates to split up the hard left vote, Sanders, Clinton, and Warren would be good choices. I would add a weak Latino candidate (one so bad that not even white liberals seeking to affirm their moral superiority would vote for him/her).

    That leaves Webb with two tasks: 1) take a big share of the black vote (that’s going to be critical in the southern states you cited where Sanders is not likely to be much of a spoiler); and 2) destroy O’Malley vis-a-vis the white male vote.

    The way for him to get black votes is to go full anti-gay. He could accuse gays of capitalizing on black suffering for their own benefit. He could kill two birds with one stone by using O’Malley’s hedonism (better word?) in innuendo about O’Malley’s sexuality.

    Would the media let him get away with it? They were all-in on the anti-Semite route to the Senate (both primary and general election). I doubt it. He was viewed as the Democrats’ one hope for the Senate, thus anti-Semitism was OK to get rid of a primary opponent viewed weaker in the general election and was clearly OK for the actual general election. I think the media still believes Hilary can win the general election. If, however, Sanders becomes front runner, then we may see the media let Webb go full anti-Semite and full anti-gay.

     

    • #11
  12. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    I’m with you on Perry and let me tell you that was a scary ride on that bandwagon last time around.  Glad you and I made it out of the crash with only psychological damage.

    • #12
  13. Flyondawall Inactive
    Flyondawall
    @Flyondawall

    Thanks…for the laughs and the insightful analysis. Echoing the abv sentiment ..keep it coming.

    I will PM my bank info.

    • #13
  14. Kate Braestrup Member
    Kate Braestrup
    @GrannyDude

    SO FUNNY! Thank you!

    • #14
  15. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    James Of England:

    And informed! There’s a lot of good content in these posts.

    It’s easy to appear informed when you make half of it up, James!

    In all seriousness, I’m a three-strikes violator of the Mann Act serving a life sentence in High Desert State Prison in California.  When you’re on the inside, you have lots of time to read up on your favorite candidates.

    I just can’t help myself.  I get such a kick out the fact that half of Ricochet just went, “Oh, wow, really???”

    No, Ricochet.  Not really.

    Maybe.

    • #15
  16. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    James Of England:If you could be a little less reasoned and thoughtful, though, that would give us something to fight over in the comments.

    Something to fight over in the comments?  Let’s see . . .

    RESOLVED:   If the Republican nomination were decided in a secret kumite held in a purpose-built arena located five stories beneath the Reagan Library, the smart money would be on Ted Cruz.

    By the way, if you watch the linked kumite clip, at 4:41 you will witness the apotheosis of film acting in our time.

    • #16
  17. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    JoJo, DocJay, Susan in Seattle, MarciN, Mike Rapkoch, Flyondawall, and Kate Braestrup:

    Thank you all, but the doctors say it’s best not to encourage me.

    • #17
  18. LilyBart Inactive
    LilyBart
    @LilyBart

    Claire Berlinski, Ed.: very nicely punctuated…

    Hmm, that would be my comment on this article as well.

    • #18
  19. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    Concretevol:I’m with you on Perry and let me tell you that was a scary ride on that bandwagon last time around. Glad you and I made it out of the crash with only psychological damage.

    Woah, woah, woah.  I was not on the Perry bandwagon in 2012.  I was four-square for Jonathon “the Impaler” Sharkey.

    • #19
  20. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    Claire Berlinski, Ed.:Nice post and very nicely punctuated, Carthago. The effort did not go unnoticed. As a quick pre-emptory explanation of our style sheet — because I’m sure you’re wondering — we’re in no way consistent about whether the names of publications should be italicized, nor do we have a rule. Until recently, failing to italicize these titles would have been viewed by all civilized men as an abomination. It’s now a matter of great controversy, with, I concede, some logical arguments marshalled on the side of “against,” namely that in a digital format it’s often visually cluttering. I opted here for “consistency with my last decision, at least,” but clearly the Ricochet Supreme Style Court must convene and settle this matter decisively. Amaci curiae are invited as always to weigh in.

    You are my editor, Dr. Berlinski?   Gosh.   I feel like I owe you an apology.

    Or, “Gosh, I feel like I owe you an apology.”

    Or, “Gosh; I feel like I owe you an apology.”

    Or, “Gosh … I feel like I owe you an apology.”

    Thank you for the feedback on the use of italics for titles.  Whether or not the Supreme Style Court chooses to condemn my failure to italicize, I sincerely hope my work will continue to be viewed as an abomination by all civilized men.  I wouldn’t feel good about myself otherwise.

    • #20
  21. FightinInPhilly Coolidge
    FightinInPhilly
    @FightinInPhilly

    Very funny. Please keep it up.

    • #21
  22. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    FightinInPhilly:Very funny. Please keep it up.

    So long as those envelopes full of cash from Peter Robinson keep showing up in my mailbox, you can count on it.

    • #22
  23. Pseudodionysius Inactive
    Pseudodionysius
    @Pseudodionysius

    If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re Bill Walsh.

    But I know better.

    [Rest of comment redacted by sinister forces, etc]

    • #23
  24. Claire Berlinski, Ed. Editor
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.
    @Claire

    Pseudodionysius:If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re Bill Walsh.

    But I know better.

    [Rest of comment redacted by sinister forces, etc]

    I can’t imagine Bill Walsh serving a croûte ungarnished by a circumflex

    • #24
  25. Pseudodionysius Inactive
    Pseudodionysius
    @Pseudodionysius

    Claire Berlinski, Ed.:

    Pseudodionysius:If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re Bill Walsh.

    But I know better.

    [Rest of comment redacted by sinister forces, etc]

    I can’t imagine Bill Walsh serving a croûte ungarnished by a circumflex.

    The bald avatar is also a contraindication, though Doc Jay’s latest medical device post may hold the key to the mystery.

    • #25
  26. FightinInPhilly Coolidge
    FightinInPhilly
    @FightinInPhilly

    Carthago:

    FightinInPhilly:Very funny. Please keep it up.

    So long as those envelopes full of cash from Peter Robinson keep showing up in my mailbox, you can count on it.

    Wait, does this mean Peter is helping you access your family fortune that the corrupt military government of your country has been holding prisoner? Will you have the money soon!?

    • #26
  27. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    Pseudodionysius:If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re Bill Walsh.

    But I know better.

    [Rest of comment redacted by sinister forces, etc]

    Pseudodionysius:

    The bald avatar is also a contraindication, though Doc Jay’s latest medical device post may hold the key to the mystery.

    Here’s how you know I’m not Bill Walsh.  My first reaction to your comment was, “Bill Walsh?  Bill Walsh has been dead for ten years!”

    Bill Walsh, of course, being the three-time Super Bowl-winning coach of the San Francisco 49ers.  I had to do a little quick internet research to discover Bill Walsh, comma aficionado.

    Or is that aficionado?  I’m sure I’ll be told shortly.

    As for the bald avatar, you can be no more certain that the person in my avatar is the real me than I can be sure that it is you in the crusader armor.

    Alright, it’s me.

    • #27
  28. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    Claire Berlinski, Ed.:
    I can’t imagine Bill Walsh serving a croûte ungarnished by a circumflex.

    My own editor is taking shots at me.

    At least I didn’t write “A Bit of a Cyber-Coincidence?”.  I mean, did you see the glaring grammatical mistake in there?  Mortifying.  If whoever wrote that had my editor, she’d never hear the end of it.

    • #28
  29. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @Carthago

    FightinInPhilly:

    Wait, does this mean Peter is helping you access your family fortune that the corrupt military government of your country has been holding prisoner? Will you have the money soon!?

    No, no, no.   Strictly hush money.  Peter and I don’t have that kind of relationship.

    • #29
  30. Claire Berlinski, Ed. Editor
    Claire Berlinski, Ed.
    @Claire

    Carthago:

    Claire Berlinski, Ed.: I can’t imagine Bill Walsh serving a croûte ungarnished by a circumflex.

    My own editor is taking shots at me.

    At least I didn’t write “A Bit of a Cyber-Coincidence?”. I mean, did you see the glaring grammatical mistake in there? Mortifying. If whoever wrote that had my editor, she’d never hear the end of it.

    I still don’t see it. Where is it?

    • #30
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