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Several days have passed since the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, but the kulturkampf marches on. Nearly every media outlet unveiled rainbow flag versions of their logos, rainbow-filtered avatars filled social media, and the President lit up the White House itself in the colors of the pride banner.
Since then, news outlets have published calls to abolish the tax exemption for churches, legalize polygamy, and shame those too slow in celebrating the new order. In The Atlantic, Matt Schiavenza complained that sports teams aren’t bowing to the new idol fast enough:
The Supreme Court’s declaration that same-sex marriage was constitutional triggered widespread jubilation across the United States on Friday, as millions of people took to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to show their support. This enthusiasm was matched by numerous brands, such as Chipotle and Target, who used cleverly produced tweets to trumpet their position on Twitter.
The response from the country’s sports teams, by contrast, were relatively muted. Of the 122 teams in the four major American professional sports leagues—the NFL, NBA, MLB, and NHL—only five explicitly mentioned Friday’s ruling as of 7:30 pm Eastern time last night. Three—baseball’s San Francisco Giants, football’s San Francisco 49ers, and basketball’s Golden State Warriors—hail from the famously progressive Bay Area, while the other two (the NBA’s Los Angeles Clippers and Sacramento Kings) play elsewhere in blue-state California…
“Professional sports teams still haven’t been able to shake that toxic culture of masculinity,” said Dave Zirin, a journalist who specializes in the intersection of sports and progressive politics. “It’s still something that dominates the industry in a much more intense way than executives would like to admit.”
Maleness itself is now “toxic” and must be shaken off by all-male sports teams. Also in the new Orwellian America, some flags are more equal than others.
Bo and Luke Duke are no longer flying through Hazzard County on TV Land.
The network has pulled episodes of “The Dukes of Hazzard” from its schedule, a spokesperson for TV Land confirmed on Wednesday.
The network would not comment further on whether reruns of the series were pulled due to its inclusion of a 1969 Dodge Charger known as the “General Lee” which has the Confederate battle flag painted on its roof.
Might I suggest a “Dukes of Hazzard” reboot for the Obama Era? In the updated series, the biracial Duke boys will drive a Prius with a rainbow flag emblazoned on the roof. Daisy Duke will be played by Caitlyn Jenner, swapping the short-shorts for a pantsuit, while Martin Sheen’s Uncle Jesse will deliver socialist harangues penned by Aaron Sorkin. Boss Hogg will change his last name to Koch and order Roscoe P. Coltrane to arrest only African-Americans. Everyone involved will cautiously observe the speed limit and use light rail whenever possible.
The left has abandoned the classical liberal concept of “live and let live” for a Jacobin purge of counterrevolutionary thought. Over on Twitter, blogger Ace of Spades suggested that the left replace their COEXIST bumper stickers with a design that better reflects their new piety. Hopefully my design of the COMPLY sticker above will help Americans understand the new social reality.