Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Presidential Hair


AskAmelia3It’s Friday afternoon, so it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your questions about familial bribery, political hairdos, and gabby co-workers.

Dear Amelia, Is it acceptable to secure my place as a favorite uncle to niece and nephews through bribery? @TheLostDrummer

Dear Drummer,

Yes, absolutely, it is the only way to go. It’s not just the big things, but the small everyday bribes. It never hurts to keep the parents sweet, too, to ensure that you are provided with enough opportunities for giving. Also, because this seems like a good time for shameless self-promotion, I’d like to suggest my children’s books!


Dear Amelia,

Which Presidential candidate has the best hair?


Dear Trace,

In the current field, I’d have to say Rick Perry. Previous candidates include Mitt Romney and Ronald Reagan.

Thank you for understanding the importance of presidential coiffure.


Dear Amelia,

Why is there so much talking on conference calls?


Dear Mark,

Because people want to show off in front of the other attendees. Everyone knows 99% of conferences calls and meetings can easily be replaced by an e-mail.


Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Leave a comment!

Want to ask a question? Tweet using #AskAmHam or e-mail [email protected].


There are 5 comments.

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  1. Daniel Wood Inactive

    I’d give the presidential hair award to Rand Paul. His hair has a presence all its own, a kind of coiled energy, as if it were just awaiting the opportunity to leap off his head and strangle an impudent reporter. Hair like that would definitely come in handy when negotiating with tough customers like Vladimir Putin.

    • #1
    • May 29, 2015, at 4:24 PM PDT
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  2. Wolverine Inactive

    Years ago one of my professors told me he wouldn’t vote for Clinton because he didn’t trust a man who doesn’t part his hair. How right he was (about Clinton anyway).

    • #2
    • May 29, 2015, at 4:53 PM PDT
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  3. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    Children’s books… An excellent idea.

    • #3
    • May 29, 2015, at 7:12 PM PDT
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  4. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    Hillary appears to have made hair the center of her campaign. All part of the Vote for Grandma thing.

    • #4
    • May 29, 2015, at 7:14 PM PDT
    • Like
  5. Randy Webster Member

    John Bolton’s mustache is the clear winner.

    • #5
    • May 31, 2015, at 2:50 PM PDT
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