Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Facebook PDAs, Spoiler Alerts, and Church Lunch Dates

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday, and that means Ask Amelia is here to answer your most pressing life questions!

Dear Amelia,
What is your opinion of couples who are constantly communicating their sap and their jabs in front of everyone on Facebook? How deep is their love?
From,
Rolling My Eyes

Dear Rolling,

I assume we’re referring to the couples who do this in earnest, not those who do so in jest to mock said earnest couples. That distinction made, I would say that their love is not very deep at all. It’s like a Jumbotron proposal: shouldn’t the moment be exciting enough just between the two of you? What is added to the experience by having thousands of strangers act as witnesses?

When couples air their dirty laundry on Facebook, it makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s juvenile. When couples get sickeningly lovey-dovey, it makes me think that they’re about to break up at any moment. The couple doth protest too much.

The happiest couples I know joke around and say kind things to each other on Facebook, but don’t feel the need to put on a show. Their love seems a whole lot deeper to me.

 

Dear Amelia,

When is it okay to spoil a TV show? What if it’s a Netflix streaming show with all the episodes dumped at once? Does that make a difference?

@ScottJW

Dear Scott,

As someone who hates spoilers with the fire of a thousand suns, this is an issue very close to my heart. However, I realize that I bear some responsibility in actually watching a show if I want to avoid hearing spoilers; one can’t except people to stay silent forever.

For a weekly television show, I would say a week. That gives people more than enough time to watch the episode in question and mute the hashtag on Twitter if they still haven’t. If you’re communicating directly to someone, rather than making a general statement, maybe just ask if they’ve seen the episode yet or mind it being spoiled.

Shows that release all of their episodes at once are a little trickier. For those who, like me, are passionate anti-spoilers, we must do our part and watch all episodes as quickly as possible to reduce the risk of spoilage. I would still say to give it a week before you spoil the earlier episodes, maybe two weeks for the rest. If somebody wants to avoid spoilers that bad, they will have watched the show by then. You can usually get a sense from social media when a plot twist becomes common knowledge. At that point, let the floodgates open.

Just don’t get me started on people who live-tweet.

 

Dear Amelia,

How does one gracefully decline repeated requests for lunch after church from a guy in your Singles Group that keeps sitting by you during service? I feel like muttering, “Um… no thanks, it’s cold… I’m poor….things to do” is not working.

From,
Confused in Kansas

Dear Kansas,

That is a tough situation indeed. Is this definitely a date, or is he just looking to have lunch with a friend? If he hasn’t made it clear if he means his invitation as a date, why not say that maybe, next week, you can get a group of church friends together and all have lunch together. If it’s definitely a date, well, he gets bonus points for being man enough to do so in this day and age. Be honest about your feelings, and have the group lunch anyway.

 

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There are 5 comments.

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  1. FightinInPhilly Thatcher

    Please let Kansas know to make her non-date feelings clear sooner rather than later. A lot of us guys can be patient and can misinterpret “not today” into “someday”. Don’t string the guy along with reasonable sounding excuses- just blurt it out “I just don’t think of you that way, but thank you.” If you feel compelled, you can spend the rest of the awkward moment building him back up- but I suspect he’ll just shrug and thank you for being honest.

    • #1
    • February 20, 2015, at 2:18 PM PST
    • Like
  2. Jason Rudert Member

    Dear Amelia,
    What is your opinion of couples who are constantly communicating their sap and their jabs in front of everyone on Facebook? How deep is their love?
    From,
    Rolling My Eyes

    It’s particularly painful when it’s only one of the couple doing it. Girl I know on fb posts something every week about how great it is she’s found the love of her life already, even though they’re both only 18. Oh, honey…

    • #2
    • February 20, 2015, at 8:41 PM PST
    • Like
  3. Jules PA Member

    like.

    :)

    • #3
    • February 21, 2015, at 6:50 AM PST
    • Like
  4. Southern Pessimist Member

    If it’s definitely a date, well, he gets bonus points for being man enough to do so in this day and age. Be honest about your feelings, and have the group lunch anyway.

    Back in the dark ages when I faced this situation, I never felt like I got bonus points for asking. Ususlly my potential date had to wash her hair or something similar. I was never sure if that was better than a simple no but I took it that way.

    • #4
    • February 21, 2015, at 10:33 AM PST
    • Like
  5. iWe Reagan
    iWe Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Clean rejection always is better. Guys HATE being treated with kid gloves as if we were children who cannot handle rejection.

    As a matter of fact, we cannot actually handle rejection, but decorum requires us to pretend otherwise. And getting it over with really helps.

    • #5
    • February 22, 2015, at 5:58 AM PST
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