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I was going to do this as one of my Twitter rants, but for your reading pleasure, I propose a candidate approach to the evolution question that’s a lot simpler and cleaner than what we’ve seen to date:
Here’s how Presidential candidates (really, any candidate) need to punch back. Ready?
Reporter: Do you believe in evolution?
Candidate: Yes. Why don’t you ask Hillary Clinton… [insert one of the questions below].
- Do you believe in the healing power of crystals?
- Is astrology real? Do the stars influence our fates? If so, which form of astrology do you believe in, Western horoscopic, vedic, or Chinese?
- Do you believe people display auras visible to sensitive individuals?
- What caused global temperature variations before human civilization?
- Are non-Western spiritual beliefs superior to Christianity?
- Do you believe in reincarnation? Are you still in touch with Eleanor Roosevelt?
- Do you believe health problems emerge from “qi energy blockages”?
- Are UFOs real? Do you believe aliens walk among us?
- What is the last day of pregnancy on which an abortion not in the “rape/incest/life of the mother” domains be legal? Be specific.
- The Koran says the Earth was created in 6 days. Is the word of Allah and his prophet Mohammed false?
- Can an unborn child experience pain? If so, when?
- Should insurance plans be required to cover alternative medicine practices unsupported by science?
- Should paranormal and alternative spirituality beliefs be a part of school curricula? If not, why not?
- Do you believe in ESP?
- Do you believe Wicca and other forms of witchcraft are real?
- Is Deepak Chopra a visionary spiritualist or a pop-culture quack?
- Do vaccines cause autism?
- Do you believe humans can build resistance to viruses with vitamin supplements?
I could do this all day, as we live in a world full of woo. Most woo is harmless, the province of the credulous and the lost. So, candidates, since the media will never, ever ask Hillary Clinton or any Democrat these questions, it’s important for Republican candidates to embed them in their answers. You won’t always get them into the story, but — if you keep rapping them on the nose with the rolled-up newspaper — even the most tiresome of them will eventually learn you’re not going to give them what they want.Published in