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Fred’s Annual Ricochet Community Christmas Waiver
I’ve written and posted this the last couple of years. I’m posting it again this year because we have new friends joining our happy community all the time.
For those few of you who do not know, I am an atheist. But, fun fact: I still celebrate Christmas.
I put up a tree, I decorate, I go to parties, I give and receive gifts (contact me for my mailing address), I listen to Christmas music, I wear a Santa hat sometimes, I even put up a small nativity on my mantle. Nor am I the only atheist who does this. Both Vladimir Lenin and Ayn Rand celebrated Christmas.
This time of year, people make frequent use of the obnoxious euphemism “Holiday.” They talk about “Holiday decorations,” “Holiday cookies,” “Holiday shopping” and even (absurdly) “Holiday trees.”
People get weird about wishing others “Happy Holidays,” when we all know they’re tip-toeing around naming Christmas. Those well-meaning people are concerned about offending the 15% of the American public who are atheists or agnostics, and the 4% who celebrate non-Christian religions.
Well, plenty of atheists celebrate Christmas. If you live in America, it’s kind of hard not to.
In the spirit of Christmas — and with the full recognition that Christmas means different things to different people — I hereby issue the following waiver:
You don’t need to use the word “Holiday” in place of “Christmas” for my benefit. I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.” I like Christmas. Please use the word ‘Christmas’ around me.
Please note: I don’t speak for every atheist, as I am an individualist, not a communitarian; likewise, please don’t think those who do presume to speak for every atheist speak for me. This waiver is about me personally. Getting upset or offended because your fellow citizens use the word “Christmas” is stupid. Find something else to get worked up about.
Any other non-believers who wish to self identify publicly and sign on to this waive are welcome and invited to do so.
Please also note: The spirit and tone of this waiver is genuine. It is meant to build brotherhood and understanding among us as a community. It is not meant to be sarcastic or snotty. The real people I have a problem with are not people who celebrate Christmas, but rather those jackasses who get worked up at the very mention of Christmas.
Published in General
Another nitpick… According to the Pew Religious Landscape Survey, self-identified atheists and agnostics make up 4% (1.6 and 2.4% respectively) of the US population not 15%.
That I understand (I’m actually mildly surprised that more Jews don’t feel the same way). Out of curiosity, what do you use?
My problem with BCE and CE is that they — like “Happy Holidays” — so painfully and unsuccessfully attempt to avoid the clear intent. What else does the “Common Era” mean, if not before the birth of Jesus?
I use CE and BCE. Whatever the origin of our current numbering system, it is the common system in use in our place and time.
Merry Christmas to you, Fred!
I’m happy to share the Christmas cheer with anybody, but it does seem a little much when people want to celebrate a Christian holiday with us, *and then* want us to change the name for them. If we’re all doing the Christmas thing, let’s just call it Christmas, okay?
Is there anything I can say that will offend you?
You? Probably not.
Truly some of the most fun I have during the “holidays” is sending Christmas cards to my Jewish friends and attending Hanukkah gatherings in their homes. What particularly touched me one year was when the father of a childhood friend leaned over at the table during the lighting of the menorah to say, “You know it means so much to have all our friends and family with us tonight.”
Passover? Not so much … I’ve yet to *acquire* a taste for gefilte fish. :)
Statist.
I think you mean mantel. I have a funny visual of you walking around wearing a cloak trying to balance a Baby Jesus on your shoulders. ;) Merry Christmas!!
Not for naught (I read that version in a Conan story the other day), but you need to thin up that skin of yours. I mean, really…
Hey now…
This is condescending. You should be writing to yourself and your fellow atheists. Call out the ones who push the idea that “Merry Christmas” is problematic. . . . who refrain from saying “Merry Christmas” . . . . who are offended by the theo-normative micro-aggression . . . all on principle. You personally haven’t a leg to stand on. You’re just into Xmas for the self-indulgent hedonistic pleasure.
No waiver is needed for saying Merry Christmas” by those who celebrate the Nativity of Christ–the Incarnation, the irruption of God into time, the hypostatic union, God’s confirmation of the goodness of is Creation. And our response to naysayers should be a supercilious What?!? Get Real! that tells them they are fit fodder for a dung beetle.
Some will think me curmudgeonly not to acknowledge that Fred is mostly benign and generally a big huggy bear, but I am a curmudgeon. And we don’t need no stinking waivers.
Gee Grendel, you forgot to tell Fred he’s going to roast in the eternal flames of hell.
I guess it wasn’t you who liked my comment.
I don’t know where Fred will end up (but thanks for reminding him), but I do know where the PC bullies should go.
Fred Cole roasting on an open fire…
Sorry, just getting in the mood. Merry Christmas!