Fred’s Annual Ricochet Community Christmas Waiver

 

shutterstock_161433128I’ve written and posted this the last couple of years. I’m posting it again this year because we have new friends joining our happy community all the time.

For those few of you who do not know, I am an atheist. But, fun fact: I still celebrate Christmas.

I put up a tree, I decorate, I go to parties, I give and receive gifts (contact me for my mailing address), I listen to Christmas music, I wear a Santa hat sometimes, I even put up a small nativity on my mantle. Nor am I the only atheist who does this. Both Vladimir Lenin and Ayn Rand celebrated Christmas.

This time of year, people make frequent use of the obnoxious euphemism “Holiday.” They talk about “Holiday decorations,” “Holiday cookies,” “Holiday shopping” and even (absurdly) “Holiday trees.”

People get weird about wishing others “Happy Holidays,” when we all know they’re tip-toeing around naming Christmas. Those well-meaning people are concerned about offending the 15% of the American public who are atheists or agnostics, and the 4% who celebrate non-Christian religions.

Well, plenty of atheists celebrate Christmas. If you live in America, it’s kind of hard not to.

In the spirit of Christmas — and with the full recognition that Christmas means different things to different people — I hereby issue the following waiver:

You don’t need to use the word “Holiday” in place of “Christmas” for my benefit. I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.” I like Christmas. Please use the word ‘Christmas’ around me.

Please note: I don’t speak for every atheist, as I am an individualist, not a communitarian; likewise, please don’t think those who do presume to speak for every atheist speak for me. This waiver is about me personally. Getting upset or offended because your fellow citizens use the word “Christmas” is stupid.  Find something else to get worked up about.

Any other non-believers who wish to self identify publicly and sign on to this waive are welcome and invited to do so.

Please also note: The spirit and tone of this waiver is genuine. It is meant to build brotherhood and understanding among us as a community. It is not meant to be sarcastic or snotty. The real people I have a problem with are not people who celebrate Christmas, but rather those jackasses who get worked up at the very mention of Christmas.

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There are 45 comments.

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  1. Klaatu Inactive
    Klaatu
    @Klaatu

    Another nitpick… According to the Pew Religious Landscape Survey, self-identified atheists and agnostics make up 4% (1.6 and 2.4% respectively) of the US population not 15%.

    • #31
  2. Tom Meyer Member
    Tom Meyer
    @tommeyer

    Son of Spengler: I don’t take offense when others use “BC” and “AD”, but I refuse to use them myself. Words mean things, and Jesus is not my “Christ” nor my “Domini”.

    That I understand (I’m actually mildly surprised that more Jews don’t feel the same way). Out of curiosity, what do you use?

    My problem with BCE and CE is that they — like “Happy Holidays” — so painfully and unsuccessfully attempt to avoid the clear intent. What else does the “Common Era” mean, if not before the birth of Jesus?

    • #32
  3. Son of Spengler Member
    Son of Spengler
    @SonofSpengler

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Son of Spengler: I don’t take offense when others use “BC” and “AD”, but I refuse to use them myself. Words mean things, and Jesus is not my “Christ” nor my “Domini”.

    That I understand (I’m actually mildly surprised that more Jews don’t feel the same way). Out of curiosity, what do you use?

    My problem with BCE and CE is that they — like “Happy Holidays” — so painfully and unsuccessfully attempt to avoid the clear intent. What else does the “Common Era” mean, if not before the birth of Jesus?

    I use CE and BCE. Whatever the origin of our current numbering system, it is the common system in use in our place and time.

    • #33
  4. Rachel Lu Member
    Rachel Lu
    @RachelLu

    Merry Christmas to you, Fred!

    I’m happy to share the Christmas cheer with anybody, but it does seem a little much when people want to celebrate a Christian holiday with us, *and then* want us to change the name for them. If we’re all doing the Christmas thing, let’s just call it Christmas, okay?

    • #34
  5. Spin Inactive
    Spin
    @Spin

    Fred Cole: I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.”

    Is there anything I can say that will offend you?

    • #35
  6. user_280840 Inactive
    user_280840
    @FredCole

    Spin:

    Fred Cole: I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.”

    Is there anything I can say that will offend you?

    You?  Probably not.

    • #36
  7. EThompson Member
    EThompson
    @

    Son of Spengler:

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Fred Cole: You don’t need to use the word “Holiday” in place of “Christmas” for my benefit. I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.” I like Christmas. Please use the word ‘Christmas’ around me.

    Relatedly, everyone needs to drop “B.C.E.” and “C.E.,” which must be one of the most irritating and unsuccessful attempts at being PC in history.

    I don’t take offense when others use “BC” and “AD”, but I refuse to use them myself. Words mean things, and Jesus is not my “Christ” nor my “Domini”.

    Also — perhaps paradoxically — I find it more annoying when people wish me “Happy Holidays” than “Merry Christmas”. Only close friends think to wish me well on my major holidays — Rosh HaShannah, Passover, etc. When people wish me a happy holiday at this time of year, it’s because they are thinking of their own holiday: Christmas. So just be honest and wish me Merry Christmas!

    Truly some of the most fun I have during the “holidays” is sending Christmas cards to my Jewish friends and attending Hanukkah gatherings in their homes. What particularly touched me one year was when the father of a childhood friend leaned over at the table during the lighting of the menorah to say, “You know it means so much to have all our friends and family with us tonight.”

    Passover? Not so much … I’ve yet to *acquire* a  taste for gefilte fish. :)

    • #37
  8. Tom Meyer Member
    Tom Meyer
    @tommeyer

    Fred Cole:

    Spin:

    Fred Cole: I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.”

    Is there anything I can say that will offend you?

    You? Probably not.

    Statist.

    • #38
  9. Karen Inactive
    Karen
    @Karen

    Fred Cole:I put up a tree, I decorate, I go to parties, I give and receive gifts (contact me for my mailing address), I listen to Christmas music, I wear a Santa hat sometimes, I even put up a small nativity on my mantle.

    I think you mean mantel. I have a funny visual of you walking around wearing a cloak trying to balance a Baby Jesus on your shoulders. ;) Merry Christmas!!

    • #39
  10. Spin Inactive
    Spin
    @Spin

    Fred Cole: You?  Probably not.

    Not for naught (I read that version in a Conan story the other day), but you need to thin up that skin of yours.  I mean, really…

    • #40
  11. user_280840 Inactive
    user_280840
    @FredCole

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Fred Cole:

    Spin:

    Fred Cole: I won’t be offended if you wish me a “Merry Christmas.”

    Is there anything I can say that will offend you?

    You? Probably not.

    Statist.

    Hey now…

    • #41
  12. Grendel Member
    Grendel
    @Grendel

    This is condescending.  You should be writing to yourself and your fellow atheists.  Call out the ones who push the idea that “Merry Christmas” is problematic. . . . who refrain from saying “Merry Christmas” . . . . who are offended by the theo-normative micro-aggression . . . all on principle.  You personally haven’t a leg to stand on.  You’re just into Xmas for the self-indulgent hedonistic pleasure.

    No waiver is needed for saying Merry Christmas” by those who celebrate the Nativity of Christ–the Incarnation, the irruption of God into time, the hypostatic union, God’s confirmation of the goodness of is Creation.  And our response to naysayers should be a supercilious What?!?  Get Real! that tells them they are fit fodder for a dung beetle.

    Some will think me curmudgeonly not to acknowledge that Fred is mostly benign and generally a big huggy bear, but I am a curmudgeon.  And we don’t need no stinking waivers.

    • #42
  13. user_138562 Moderator
    user_138562
    @RandyWeivoda

    Gee Grendel, you forgot to tell Fred he’s going to roast in the eternal flames of hell.

    • #43
  14. Grendel Member
    Grendel
    @Grendel

    Randy Weivoda:Gee Grendel, you forgot to tell Fred he’s going to roast in the eternal flames of hell.

    I guess it wasn’t you who liked my comment.

    I don’t know where Fred will end up (but thanks for reminding him), but I do know where the PC bullies should go.

    • #44
  15. user_3444 Coolidge
    user_3444
    @JosephStanko

    Randy Weivoda:Gee Grendel, you forgot to tell Fred he’s going to roast in the eternal flames of hell.

    Fred Cole roasting on an open fire…

    Sorry, just getting in the mood.  Merry Christmas!

    • #45
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