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First-World Predicaments
So, I’m reclining in a chair at the bedside of an old man, asleep, in a nursing home. Life is easy when the senile sleep.
On the other side of my chair is a coffee table with a single item, taunting me: a container of delicious cookies.
The catch is that it’s one of those clear plastic snap containers they sell in the bakeries of supermarkets. If I try to open it, the loud snapping will undoubtedly wake my slumbering charge.
Diabolical!
What are some first-world problems you have encountered lately?
I appreciate the spirit in which you posed the question, so I’ll say that cloth (or otherwise “reusable”) grocery bags drive me bonkers. However, the whole “first world problem” thing also drives me bonkers, just like solipsistic talk of “white privilege.”
We have three roommates renting a house together. We have three cars between us, but only a two car garage. One of us has to park outside. The HoA just cracked down on parking, banishing residents from parking in the guest parking spaces. All the outside spaces in the neighborhood are guest parking spots. So I have to park my car a quarter mile away in the next neighborhood over. It takes me up to 7 minutes to walk to or from my car.
hahaha – I think it is sometimes used (by liberals, go figure) as a way to essentially claim white guilt, in a condescending tone, and directed at others. The way Aaron is using it, unless I’m wrong, is as an easier way to say “problems that aren’t really problems.” They happen in 3rd world countries, too. The amazing thing about misery throughout the ages – something lost on most people, especially “white guilt” lefties – is that the people who have historically lived in misery have not necessarily been miserable. Without people being comparatively better off, I think actual objective misery is not quite as rampant as we like to believe. That’s not to say we should avoid the expansion of wealth or the reaching out to the worse off in a spirit of charity, but only that the more condescending use of the phrase “first world problems,” is also kind of nonsensical.
The way Aaron is using it, however, is universal. Like missing the end of a movie because your wife decides to start [coc compliant term for sex]ing you half way through.
Park on the lawn.
The grave problem of too many remotes.
Aaron, just want to put a little blessing on you for visiting an old gent, whether he was sleeping or not. > + <
You deserve some cookies!
I forgot to charge both my mobile devices overnight. Now, I’m going to have to go into work with them only partially charged!
What, you don’t keep an extra set of charging cords at your work location?!?
Shouldn’t that be missing the end of the game, to make the dilemma more pointed? (grin)
I’m having a problem coming up with any. That’s my problem.
Oh gosh… don’t get me started. This weekend I need to run to Home Depot to pick up a replacement water filter for my fridge so that I can more effectively purify my already potable water.
Every six months I gotta do this!
Then I gotta spend all day Friday looking at this!
The clutch on my Mini Cooper is so stiff, my left foot hurts slightly sometimes when I’m driving downtown. C’est tragique!
Having to watch a 30 second ad before I can watch funny cat videos on Youtube.
500 channels and nothin’ on.
Political commercials EVERY TWO YEARS!
When it comes to first-world problems, I challenge everyone to top this:
Transgender Woman Can’t Be Diversity Officer Because She’s a White Man Now
Those unsolicited credit card applications that I have to shred.
Oh, that’s just too funny!
All those choices at the grocery store, and all those grocery stores.
The Soviets presented an existential threat to the world for 70 years, and did it on turnips, beets, cabbage, and vodka.
Sometimes I get mad because the refrigerator is so full that it is hard to find what I am looking for.
And yes, those plastic containers are annoying. While I do not steal sweets from the elderly, I do try to sneak a snack every now and then without having the wife make another comment about my weight.
Oh, I know! The refrigerator is the worst!
I hate it when I go to the fridge literally dying of thirst and all I have is water, juice, milk, ginger ale, and gatorade but kinda feel like something else.
Costco stopped selling my favorite brand of socks. Now I have to order samples of vastly different styles and prices to see if any if them can match the ecstasy laden comfort I’m used to before I run out.
It’s simply infuriating.
There’s a apocryphal story about a boss once saying to an underling, “I can’t get any work done in First Class. It’s too quiet!”
I had a boss who once got castle dust on his jacket while on a foreign junket, necessitating a quest to find a dry cleaner. Poor guy.
I’m assuming you’re looking only for locally-loomed socks.
My wife is temporarily unable to drive due to medical issues. Her Honda is a lease, so I’d just be wasting miles that I’m already paying for by letting it sit in the garage for the next couple months. But my Wrangler is soooo much more fun to drive!
Gluten-free, dolphin-safe, fair-trade, conflict-free, carbon-neutral, organic, and sustainable.
I only eat tuna-friendly dolphin meat.
I hate it when I go to the fridge literally dying of thirst and all I have is Shiner Bock, Heineken, Corona, Samuel Adams, and Guinness but kinda feel like something else.
Vin Diesel and Michael Caine are filming some movie in my building this month. The trucks on my block are unsightly.
I mean, I don’t even know who Vin Diesel is!