We Have Never Been at War with Eastasia

 

As U.S. military advisers pour into Iraq, weaponized drones fly over Syria, and America conducts air strikes on combatants, President Obama assured us Wednesday night that we are not at war with ISIS.

To be sure, we are “meeting them with strength and resolve” through “targeted action.” And, yes, we are leading a “broad coalition” to “degrade and ultimately destroy” the enemy, if you can call them that. But this is merely a “comprehensive and sustained counter-terrorism strategy,” not war.

Through a “systematic campaign,” we will “hunt down terrorists who threaten our country, wherever they are.” But don’t for a second think we will “get dragged into another ground war.” Heavens, no.

It is merely “military assistance” to “eradicate a cancer” and “mobilize the international community.” More like community organizing if you think about it. But it’s not war.

You see, Obama is in the business of ending wars in the Middle East, not winning or losing them. Frankly, it’s hard to define victory since I didn’t bring my Webster’s dictionary with me up here. It’s certainly not how I would refer to our efforts.

If someone wants to think of it as being a war on ISIS, they can do so, but the fact is, it’s a major counter-terrorism operation that will have many different moving parts. War is the wrong terminology.

During the Obama era, the term “war” is reserved for truly great struggles. For instance, ensuring that Sandra Fluke has access to free condoms. Now that’s a war. Like the War on Women, there is a War on Childhood Obesity, a War on Coal, a War on Drugs, and a continuing War on Poverty. Some even say there is a War on Christmas, but there most certainly is not a war on ISIS.

Even if you doubt Barack Obama, John Kerry, Josh Earnest, Jen Psaki, Marie Harf or Susan Rice, you have to believe the Pentagon when they say that we are absolutely, positively, unequivocally not at war with ISIS:

Oh. Never mind.

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  1. otherdeanplace@yahoo.com Member
    otherdeanplace@yahoo.com
    @EustaceCScrubb

    “War Never Solved Anything”, “War Has No Winners”, “No War But Class War”, “At Least the War on Civil Liberties is Going Well”, “Obama is not a Foreign Born Brown Skinned, Anti-War Socialist That Gives Away Free Health Care, You’re Thinking of Jesus”. A thorough reading of bumper stickers at my local Whole Foods has assured me that we shouldn’t get involved with that yucky war stuff, but if you gotta lob a drone every once in a while… The President is mega smart and I’m sure he knows what he’s doing, okay racist?

    • #1
  2. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Like.

    • #2
  3. user_86050 Inactive
    user_86050
    @KCMulville

    I’m so desperate for Obama to do something … anything … that I’m willing to say, “OK, fine, we won’t call it a war. So long as you shoot the bastards, and stop them from killing others, you can call it whatever you want. In fact, we don’t have to call it anything. We won’t even mention it. What were those loud explosions and rattling popping sounds? We’ll say the TV was on too loud. Fine. Happy? Now do the job you’re getting paid to do and quit jerking everyone around about the words.”

    • #3
  4. Eeyore Member
    Eeyore
    @Eeyore

    This guy is a perfect representative of the Obama administration’s attitude towards things military, A few seconds in, you see the guy barely catch himself as he quickly suppresses a yawn.

    • #4
  5. user_339092 Member
    user_339092
    @PaulDougherty

    The action that shall not be named against the people that shall not be identified.

    A little too nuanced for me.

    • #5
  6. ShellGamer Member
    ShellGamer
    @ShellGamer

    Now yer doublethinking!

    • #6
  7. Nick Stuart Inactive
    Nick Stuart
    @NickStuart

    Don’t know about you guys, but I’m really looking forward to the increased chocolate ration.

    • #7
  8. user_1184 Member
    user_1184
    @MarkWilson

    Nice lampoon, Jon.

    • #8
  9. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Double Like!

    • #9
  10. Totus Porcus Inactive
    Totus Porcus
    @TotusPorcus

    This really makes light of Congress’ role in the decision to declare kinetic military action in response to acts of workplace violence.

    • #10
  11. dittoheadadt Inactive
    dittoheadadt
    @dittoheadadt

    If Miller liked your other comment, he’ll love this.

    • #11
  12. user_199279 Coolidge
    user_199279
    @ChrisCampion

    I’m confused. If we’re not at war with Eastasia, why is the president at an airport standing by coffins filled with dead people killed in combat?

    Barry sure seemed to be a warrior when he was proudly thumping his chest after defeating Eastasia’s biggest evil, Osama Bin Asia.

    • #12
  13. Larry3435 Member
    Larry3435
    @Larry3435

    I’m just surprised that no one in the Administration has dusted off the term “police action.” I mean, isn’t that what you get when you send a few hundred thousand “military advisers” to support an “ally” who won’t fight against an enemy who doesn’t follow the rules of war?

    • #13
  14. Wylee Coyote Member
    Wylee Coyote
    @WyleeCoyote

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: More like community organizing if you think about it.

    Nail on the head. This isn’t war, it’s militarized social work.

    Also, I love the little troll smile that Admiral Kirby suppresses just before he walks away from the podium.

    • #14
  15. Wylee Coyote Member
    Wylee Coyote
    @WyleeCoyote

    Larry3435:I’m just surprised that no one in the Administration has dusted off the term “police action.”

    They don’t like the police.

    • #15
  16. Larry3435 Member
    Larry3435
    @Larry3435

    Wylee Coyote:

    Larry3435:I’m just surprised that no one in the Administration has dusted off the term “police action.”

    They don’t like the police.

    Yeah. They’re not real big fans of action, either. Better to ponder, and play another 18 holes.

    • #16
  17. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    Is it too strong or unseemly to say that I truly despise these people? I am disgusted by this administration, by the sniveling hipster state department spokesperson, by the lying SOB in charge of the IRS, by our former secretary of state that looked the grieving families in the eyes after Benghazi and lied about a damn video, by our Hamas loving current secretary of state, by the complete waste that is the current and former white house spokesmen. Most of all by their ringleader, everything is political Obama. This is why anyone who voted for this &%$ clown show in the second election is dead to me.

    • #17
  18. Proud Skeptic Inactive
    Proud Skeptic
    @ProudSkeptic

    I struggle here. Going to war is a serious business. A friend of mine sent me an E Mail criticizing Obama for his handling of this and suggesting that it was timed to distract us from all of the other Obama messes we are dealing with. This friend is very rational and very smart but I disagreed with him.

    My response to his E Mail was that all I wanted was to see this thing done well. I think Obama is a disaster but I hope against hope that he will prosecute this well because of the lives involved and the devastating consequences of doing it poorly.

    That said…there is a point to be made here that for all of the criticism leveled at Bush for his handling of Iraq, when you hold Obama to the same standards he holds up poorly. If Bush is a war criminal then so is Obama…plain and simple.

    But let’s not dwell on this. War…even if you don’t call it that…is serious business. We risk sounding petty if we take our eye off the main point here.

    We need to do this well and be successful. Those who are looking for an opportunity to criticize Obama will get ample opportunities over the next couple of years. Legitimate opportunities.

    • #18

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