If the “International Community” Ran Your Local Police Department

 

A police officer has responded to a radio call regarding a neighbor dispute.  The following is a transcript of the audiotape recorded by the officer:

Officer: What’s the trouble here?

Citizen: Well, it’s my neighbor across the street.  We’ve been having problems with him for years, ever since we bought the house

Officer: Yes, I think we’ve been out here before.

Citizen: Uh huh.  My whole family is terrified of him.  He says he doesn’t want us in the neighborhood, that we don’t deserve to live here.

Officer: Do you think he might have a point?

Citizen: Excuse me?  We bought the place fair and square.  Paid a good price for it, too.

Officer: Yes, yes, fine.  Get to the point.

Citizen: The point is, he’s always standing out on his lawn and yelling at us, telling us we’d better move out, or else.  He says his family is the rightful owner of our house, that the property line extends from his place all the way to the alley behind our backyard.  That’s crazy talk, isn’t it?

Officer: No harm in a little yelling.  And you can see how much nicer your house is than his.  Can you imagine how he feels?

Citizen: But we never bother him.  We just do our work over here, keep the lawn nice and everything.  He never lifts a finger to improve his own place.  He’s just envious of ours.

Officer: Yes, must be quite an annoyance for him.

Citizen: But it’s not just the yelling.  Every once in a while he pulls out a pistol and takes a shot at our house.  Happens a few times a week.

Officer: Hit anyone?

Citizen: Well, no, but it’s quite unnerving.  It’s hard to sleep or go about your day when you don’t know when the next bullet is coming your way.  He did some damage, so we put up sandbags and bulletproof glass, as you can see.

Officer: So you’re protected then.  What are you worried about?

Citizen: Well, this morning he took things even further.  He dug a tunnel under the street and into our basement and, just before we called you, he’d come through the tunnel and taken one of the kids back to his house.  Said he was going to cut his head off.

Officer: Just tough talk, most likely.  What did you do?

Citizen: I did what any parent would do.  I went over there and shot him and took my son back.

Officer: You what!?

Citizen: What was I supposed to do?

Officer: You were supposed to submit the matter for review by a panel of authorities, ignoring the fact that most of those authorities are hostile to your position and sympathetic to your neighbor’s.

Citizen: But he had my son!  What if he cut his head off while these authorities were discussing the matter?

Officer: You’ve got a lot of kids.  Would you really miss one?

Citizen: Well, I took care of the problem.

Officer: Indeed you did.  But in doing so, you acted disproportionately and invited condemnation from the community.   I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to come with me.

Citizen: What?  For protecting my family from a lunatic?

Officer: Tell it to the judge, sir.  Hands behind your back, please.

[Sound of handcuffs being applied.]

End transcript.

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There are 11 comments.

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  1. jmelvin Member
    jmelvin
    @jmelvin

    Sounds about right and it’s disgusting.

    • #1
  2. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    We need to quit funding that police department, kick them out of the country and destroy the building they are using or remodel it into apts.

    • #2
  3. Marion Evans Inactive
    Marion Evans
    @MarionEvans

    Like most analogies and parables, wonderful for what it includes and terrible for what it leaves out.

    • #3
  4. hawk@haakondahl.com Member
    hawk@haakondahl.com
    @BallDiamondBall

    Epic.

    • #4
  5. Pencilvania Inactive
    Pencilvania
    @Pencilvania

    Citizen: Officer, could you at least question the guy in the delivery truck that stops at his house every day & drops off boxes marked ‘AMMO’?

    Officer: Oh, we had him over for lunch at the station the other day.  He’s ok.  No need to bother him.

    • #5
  6. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Like.

    • #6
  7. RightinChicago Member
    RightinChicago
    @

    I feel a bit bad for finding this so darn funny.   Tragically funny that is.   Its spot on.  Comedy, thy name is Dunphy.

    • #7
  8. Fredösphere Inactive
    Fredösphere
    @Fredosphere

    The left and right talk past each other so much. I’d love to understand this misunderstanding. As best I can see it, the left views everything that happens in the Middle East as stemming from the Jews moving to Palestine, which they view as nothing more or less than another incident in the sordid history of Western colonialism.

    Of course, what’s missing from this analysis is that the Jews moved in piecemeal, usually legally (although illegal immigration occurred when the British Mandate imposed quotas during the Nazi period). In fact, the whole process was significantly more legitimate than, reaching for a purely random analogy, the influx of “undocumented” immigrants into the U.S.

    Or so I understand it. Please, someone with a deep knowledge of Israeli history, set this record straight. The left wants to believe the Israelis stole the land from poor, hapless third-world victims. If that narrative is dishonest, let’s confront it directly and correct the misunderstanding at its root.

    • #8
  9. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Anyone who really wants to know can easily do an internet search. My distance relatives started moving into Israel in the late 1890s early 1900s. Up until WWI they purchased land from the Ottomans, who laughed all the way to the bank, as the land they sold was either swamp or desert. The Brits took over and allowed some immigration but tried to stop most of it during WWII, and after. There have always been Jews in the city of Jerusalem since the Romans as well as a number of small communities all over Judea and Samaria. They were centers of Talmudic studies.

    • #9
  10. Fredösphere Inactive
    Fredösphere
    @Fredosphere

    Kay of MT: Up until WWI they purchased land from the Ottomans, who laughed all the way to the bank[….]

     I’m glad you wrote that. It confirms what I half-knew already, that Palestine was regarded poorly by the Arabs until outsiders came in and made something of it.

    And on a related note: what’s with this business of always referring to the Dome of the Rock as the “third holiest site in Islam?” Can anyone name off-hand the third holiest site of Judaism or of Christianity? The phrase, which used to be recited like a mantra by western journalists, sounds like post hoc argumentation to bolster Arab claims to the site, once the Jews started taking an interest in the Temple Mount.

    (Anyone familiar with the Ann Arbor restaurant scene knows full well what the First Holiest Site of Judaism is.)

    • #10
  11. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Fredosphere, the first holiest site of Judaism is not an Italian Deli. Maybe a Kosher Deli, but not an Italian one. <grin>

    There has never been a time when Jews were not interested in the Temple Mount. Since the Romans destroyed the Temple in 70 a.d Jews all over the world, celebrate the Passover or Seder, every year and the concluding prayer is: Peace! Peace for us! For everyone! For all people, this, our hope: Next year in Jerusalem! Next year, may all be Free!

    For 2,000 years. (Next year in Jerusalem is ever the hope of our people. Still we affirm that all people will rejoice together in the Zion of love and peace.)

    Jerusalem is not even mentioned once in the koran. It is mentioned almost 650 times in Jewish scriptures.

    • #11
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