White House Rolls Out Another Gutter Ball

 

Veterans die on waiting lists, terrorists roll across Iraq, the IRS stonewalls Congress, Hamas rains rockets on Israel, and tens of thousands of illegal immigrants crash through our southern border.

I’m sure Obama will get around to that stuff, but first things first: Time to refurbish the White House bowling lanes.

Time’s Zeke Miller noticed a federal contractor posting showing that the GSA will be modernizing the executive bowling alley. The facility was originally located near the lonely Situation Room, last seen when Obama single-handedly destroyed the Islamist terror threat.

“The objective here is to replace the current, damaged and out dated lanes, approaches, pin setter platform (or pin deck) and gutters with new and modern products,” the GSA added. “Specifically for the lanes, approach and pin deck, installing phenolic synthetic (or “green”) material. Any and all replacement items will meet industry standard specifications, including variance tolerance set forth by the USBC (United States Bowling Congress). Contractor shall ensure proper repairs are made to the sub structure (as needed to meet USBC specifications), if any are found.”

No word if they’ll install lighted cup holders, zero-emission hand dryers and replace that Fanta-stained Asteroids console in the back corner.

“It could use [the renovations],” one recent bowler told TIME on the condition his name not be used. “It’s quaint and feels old. There’s no electric scoreboard, so you have to score by hand—which is just debilitating when you’re focused on bowling a 300 like I am.”

The struggle. Perhaps for Obama’s next episode of Bad Optics Theater he could install a silk and gold thread mizzen-mast on the White House Yacht.

There are 24 comments.

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  1. user_86050 Inactive
    user_86050
    @KCMulville

    Bring back the presidential yacht!

    • #1
  2. MikeHs Inactive
    MikeHs
    @MikeHs

    I say, old sport, anyone for a game of 10 pins?

    • #2
  3. Casey Inactive
    Casey
    @Casey

    Obama’s pin laden with all kinda problems.

    Sounds like code.

    • #3
  4. user_86050 Inactive
    user_86050
    @KCMulville

    See, if you Hispanics come to America, the Democratic Party will welcome you, take care of you, care about you, and love you …
    pool1

    • #4
  5. Palaeologus Inactive
    Palaeologus
    @Palaeologus

    Better get some bumpers in those gutters for Captain Coordination.

    • #5
  6. user_989419 Inactive
    user_989419
    @ProbableCause

    nixonBowlingSm

    • #6
  7. user_82762 Thatcher
    user_82762
    @JamesGawron

    Jon,

    The Border is too far away.  The President is suffering from bad optics.  Just have Valerie Jarret watch this video.

    I hope Rick Perry takes his six gun to the meeting.  I just don’t trust the SOB.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #7
  8. danys Thatcher
    danys
    @danys

    Describing the bowling alley as “retro” would be more cost-effective.

    • #8
  9. user_82762 Thatcher
    user_82762
    @JamesGawron

    Jon,

    Whoops President Dictator just got caught.

    Of the Obama By the Obama and For the Obama

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #9
  10. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: “It’s quaint and feels old. There’s no electric scoreboard, so you have to score by hand—which is just debilitating when you’re focused on bowling a 300 like I am.”

    If you can’t score by hand, you probably aren’t bright enough to be working in the White House.  And if you are anywhere near rolling 300, scoring is easy.

    Isn’t there anybody in this Administration who broke 1100 on the SAT?

    • #10
  11. user_989419 Inactive
    user_989419
    @ProbableCause

    I’m a solid 100 bowler myself.  His form doesn’t look right.  Isn’t one’s rear leg supposed to sweep behind the forward leg a little bit?  He looks awkward.

    • #11
  12. clmac Inactive
    clmac
    @clmac

    I’m over 40 now and my eyes aren’t as strong as they once were, but as God as my witness, it looks like the bumper rails are up in that photo. Am I wrong? 

    White House Rolls Out Another Gutter Ball   Ricochet

    He should be impeached just for this.

    • #12
  13. rico Inactive
    rico
    @rico

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:
    “The objective here is to replace the current, damaged and out dated lanes, approaches, pin setter platform (or pin deck) and gutters with new and modern products,” the GSA added.

    That would be WRONG!

    The pins should be set manually by hand-selected Central American teenagers who can prove that being American is “not just an accident of birth.” I hear that there are tens of thousands of newly arrived individuals under consideration.

    • #13
  14. otherdeanplace@yahoo.com Member
    otherdeanplace@yahoo.com
    @EustaceCScrubb

    I do hope this bowling and pool aren’t having an adverse effect on his golf handicap.

    • #14
  15. Wylee Coyote Member
    Wylee Coyote
    @WyleeCoyote

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:

    No word if they’ll install lighted cup holders, zero-emission hand dryers and replace that Fanta-stained Asteroids console in the back corner.

     They can’t replace that!  Cap Weinberger still has the high score!

    • #15
  16. Julia PA Member
    Julia PA
    @JulesPA

    KC Mulville:

    Bring back the presidential yacht!

     is someone planning a Viking funeral pyre?

    • #16
  17. Eeyore Member
    Eeyore
    @Eeyore

    This guy is such a narcissist. He probably blames his former 37 score on the bad practice lanes in the White House. Maybe he’ll spend much of the rest of his term working hard to crash through the Big Five-O.

    • #17
  18. Jon Gabriel, Ed. Admin
    Jon Gabriel, Ed.
    @jon

    Good news! It appears that the White House didn’t like the unhelpful reportage and have cancelled the renovation.

    Ricochet gets results!

    • #18
  19. Casey Inactive
    Casey
    @Casey

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:

    Good news! It appears that the White House didn’t like the unhelpful reportage and have cancelled the renovation.

    Ricochet gets results!

    Headline:  Light Hit Nails Head Pin, Obama Turkey

    • #19
  20. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Who bowls wearing a tie?  Another article of impeachment!

    • #20
  21. CuriousKevmo Member
    CuriousKevmo
    @CuriousKevmo

    that Fanta-stained Asteroids console in the back corner

    That is beautiful man!  Pure poetry.

    • #21
  22. user_199279 Coolidge
    user_199279
    @ChrisCampion

    clmac:

    I’m over 40 now and my eyes aren’t as strong as they once were, but as God as my witness, it looks like the bumper rails are up in that photo. Am I wrong?

    He should be impeached just for this.

     He bowls like he throws a baseball.  Like a sissy fella.

    • #22
  23. user_199279 Coolidge
    user_199279
    @ChrisCampion

    Bowling.  The job Obama will do so Americans don’t have to.

    I’m really surprised they cancelled the renovation.  A White House that’s not interested in rebuilding our critical infrastructure?

    Gasp.  How is the summer of recovery going to start if Barry has to roll 78’s on crappy lanes?

    I’d be laughing if I wasn’t so sad for the state of a country that we’ve voted ourselves into.  We are no longer just diminished.  We are ashamed.

    • #23
  24. Albert Arthur Coolidge
    Albert Arthur
    @AlbertArthur

    clmac:

    I’m over 40 now and my eyes aren’t as strong as they once were, but as God as my witness, it looks like the bumper rails are up in that photo. Am I wrong?

    He should be impeached just for this.

     That picture is from the 2008 campaign. He had a very, very low score, as Eeyore mentioned. I don’t think that the bumper rails were up, because he guttered it almost every time.

    • #24

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