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Veterans die on waiting lists, terrorists roll across Iraq, the IRS stonewalls Congress, Hamas rains rockets on Israel, and tens of thousands of illegal immigrants crash through our southern border.
I’m sure Obama will get around to that stuff, but first things first: Time to refurbish the White House bowling lanes.
Time’s Zeke Miller noticed a federal contractor posting showing that the GSA will be modernizing the executive bowling alley. The facility was originally located near the lonely Situation Room, last seen when Obama single-handedly destroyed the Islamist terror threat.
“The objective here is to replace the current, damaged and out dated lanes, approaches, pin setter platform (or pin deck) and gutters with new and modern products,” the GSA added. “Specifically for the lanes, approach and pin deck, installing phenolic synthetic (or “green”) material. Any and all replacement items will meet industry standard specifications, including variance tolerance set forth by the USBC (United States Bowling Congress). Contractor shall ensure proper repairs are made to the sub structure (as needed to meet USBC specifications), if any are found.”
No word if they’ll install lighted cup holders, zero-emission hand dryers and replace that Fanta-stained Asteroids console in the back corner.
“It could use [the renovations],” one recent bowler told TIME on the condition his name not be used. “It’s quaint and feels old. There’s no electric scoreboard, so you have to score by hand—which is just debilitating when you’re focused on bowling a 300 like I am.”
The struggle. Perhaps for Obama’s next episode of Bad Optics Theater he could install a silk and gold thread mizzen-mast on the White House Yacht.