Contributor Post Created with Sketch. America’s Funniest Home Presidency

 

Obama-Gorilla-FistbumpWith just a little over two years left, Barack Obama is already in the post presidency. The President who strong armed his way into early copies of “Game of Thrones” sees a Red Wedding on the horizon for his party.

November is coming and Obama is quitting. 

As much as electorally vulnerable Democrats are doing to separate themselves from a toxic President with barely 40 percent approval, they and voters need to realize he’s separating himself from them just as much.

Obama’s bro-fest in Denver last night is all the evidence that is needed, along with the Preezy-palooza Pen Pal Tour kicking off later this summer, which will no doubt result in Obama reading ketchup bottles again instead of listening to real concerns about people losing their doctor and the sudden influx of illegal border crossers pitching tents on their front lawns. 

When President Pen Pal decides to start blurting out bizarre slogans like “the bear is loose” and is repeated ad nauseam by a loyal flock of reporters, it not only becomes a one-liner, it becomes policy. 

 

Random walks, meet with supposed random people who wrote him letters and pound beers back with gorilla statues — these are all things to help improve Obama, not the country. 

These stunts solve absolutely zero problems ordinary Americans have with finances, job hunting, bill paying or schooling their kids. They do however solve Obama’s cabin fever and to the majority of still loyal hounds in network media, that’s all that’s needed to salvage what’s left of the guy they sold to the country in 2009.

He is a man who is constantly on vacation in his own head and once in awhile takes a break to be President. His policy speeches, which these days are more about how mean people are being to him, are sandwiched on the back or front end of golf excursions and fundraisers, so as not to look like he’s blowing the country completely off.

He does just enough work to skirt by, something he brags about going back to his college days, like he did last month at a White House Q&A with Tumblr creator and CEO David Karp: 

“Well, first of all, I want to say I was a humanities major. (Laughter.) I majored in political science and I minored in English. And I was pretty good in math, but in high school — I actually loved math and science until I got into high school, and then I misspent those years. (Laughter.) And the thing about the humanities was you could kind of talk your way through classes, which you couldn’t do in math and science. (Laughter.)” 

The story becomes Obama because the Obama White House knows that celebrity antics get more clicks on news sites. With a steady shot of a cue ball, Obama thinks he can make the IRS targeting scandal, the VA waiting death list, the Bowe Bergdahl prisoner swap catastrophe, a developing border crisis and a looming mid-term election all disappear. He’s a catastrophic President. He’s still a charismatic draw as a celebrity. 

He pulled this same stunt in 2008.

Obama cannot recapture the mood of the country from his first anointment, but he can try to relive it himself. The presidency is only eight years. Instagram is forever. 

It’s easy for Obama to yell at the imaginary congressional boogeyman and the Supreme Court when he’s farthest away as geographically possible without falling into the ocean. That’s been his modus operandi since day one. He doesn’t become the President of inaction. He becomes Barack shaking hands with a guy in a horse-head mask.

Enabled by a desperate media, he can lament that Congress gets nothing done while simultaneously pounding microbrews, shooting nine ball and working on his handicap.

Obama doesn’t want anything to do with the humanitarian crisis in Iraq, Israel, Ukraine and more importantly, our own southern border, because he can’t talk his way through them. It would require putting down the pool cue and working with congressional leaders on how to formulate a solution together. 

That part of the job unfortunately can’t be calculated by a Klout score.

There are 9 comments.

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  1. The Question Inactive

    If I was China, and I wanted to retake Taiwan, or if I was Iran working on a nuclear weapon, or if I was Putin wanting to claim more territory, I would be scrambling to get that done between now and January 2017, while there is effectively no Commander in Chief of the United States.

    • #1
    • July 9, 2014, at 2:59 PM PDT
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  2. Valiuth Member
    Valiuth Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Our President has senioritis.

    • #2
    • July 9, 2014, at 3:10 PM PDT
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  3. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I think you’re rather missing the point. His work here is done.

    obama-my-work-here-is-done-500x353

    I haven’t gotten wide agreement on this, but I think Obama’s “job” of “fundamentally transforming” America is relatively easy. He needn’t have any positive effect on a decent nation, which wasn’t really in need of transformation. He can achieve his ends by neglecting to do anything constructive — or even exercising authority where the Constitution entitles the executive — like national sovereignty. If his role is viewed in this light, he’s quite possibly the most successful president ever. Just ask him.

    • #3
    • July 9, 2014, at 4:01 PM PDT
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  4. Nick Stuart Inactive

    Michael Sanregret:

    If I was China, and I wanted to retake Taiwan, or if I was Iran working on a nuclear weapon, or if I was Putin wanting to claim more territory, I would be scrambling to get that done between now and January 2017, while there is effectively no Commander in Chief of the United States.

     I look for a lot of mischief after the November 2014 election. And the time between November 2016 and 1/20/17 is going to be particularly dangerous (especially if a Democrat wins) as Obama will be absolutely the lamest of lame ducks. He’ll do a Buchanan on any crisis, just run out the clock.

    • #4
    • July 9, 2014, at 5:29 PM PDT
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  5. billy Inactive

    Does anyone remember the last time any significant legislation was signed into law?

    • #5
    • July 9, 2014, at 5:34 PM PDT
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  6. RushBabe49 Thatcher

    Obama always wanted to BE president. He did and does not want to DO president. I still have this inner vision of him and his wife jumping up and down on the beds in the family quarters in the White House, squealing in glee. “Gee, guess what we can do in the next four years with all the taxpayers’ money! Vacations!! Jaunts to anywhere we want to go, on Air Force One! Wheeeee!!!”.

    • #6
    • July 9, 2014, at 6:27 PM PDT
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  7. Stephen Miller Contributor
    Stephen Miller

    billy:

    Does anyone remember the last time any significant legislation was signed into law?

    Take it a step further – Can anyone describe Barack Obama’s immigration reform policy ideas? Any of them? Off the top of their head. What are they? 

    • #7
    • July 9, 2014, at 6:30 PM PDT
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  8. profdlp Inactive

    Stephen Miller:
    Can anyone describe Barack Obama’s immigration reform policy ideas? Any of them? Off the top of their head. What are they?

     Try to hold the crisis at a simmer and blame the Republican Party for it. If it boils over, he himself might get burned. If it cools off, he’ll have to come off the golf course (or out of the pool hall) and find a replacement crisis.

    Or maybe I should say “create” a replacement crisis.

    • #8
    • July 10, 2014, at 12:38 AM PDT
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  9. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    Stephen Miller: “Can anyone describe Barack Obama’s immigration reform policy ideas?” His master plan: Make everyone who comes in a citizen (after all, we’re all citizens of the world.) No more illegal immigration, problem solved.

    • #9
    • July 10, 2014, at 6:26 AM PDT
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