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What to Say on a Daughter’s Graduation
So what does a father say to a daughter as she leaves the world of black and white and enters that adult world of grey? Not much. After all, if she’s anything like I was at that age, she’s sure she knows gobs more than I will ever learn anyway. But I’ve got the pen, so here goes.
It starts with Shakespeare: He had it right. “This above all: to thine own self be true.” Never forget that a person’s character is determined by her refusal to lie.
Dr. King got it right as well: It’s not the color of one’s skin, but the content of his character that counts.
Don’t gossip.
Avoid clichés like the plague.
I will stay out of affairs of the heart except to advise to never romance a man who has more problems than you do.
Every so often, swing at a 3 and 0 pitch.
Read the new Don Quixote translation. It is the first great novel and still the greatest. Read it at least three times in your life.
Don’t forget Keats. If you don’t memorize Ode on a Grecian Urn, commit these words to your heart: “Beauty is truth, truth beauty, — that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” That says it all. Read poetry often.
Cell phones off.
Vote.
Be the woman your kids think you are. Better: Be the woman your dog thinks you are. Despite the propaganda, there is no higher calling than being a mom. Raising good citizens is much more difficult than raising venture capital for an IPO.
Be a friend of friends. Each day when you arise, say to yourself, “This is the day the Lord hath wrought. Let us rejoice and be glad.” Each night, when the light goes out, examine what you did wrong, and mark what you did right. Pray nightly.
Never go to bed without a book. Even if you read only one page, go for it.
Compound interest is a miracle.
Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.
Dance.
Learn about Kant’s Categorical Imperative. Live it.
Read The Brothers Karamosov and The Idiot. Understand Prince Myshkin.
When you rewrite a poem, go back to the experience, not the lines you’ve written.
Red wine is good for you. Nightly cocktail hours are bad.
Fret not. It was Lee Harvey Oswald.
Never argue via e-mail.
Succor the weak.
Love is about giving—not getting satisfaction. Satisfaction comes through service—not being served.
Follow orders, but never forget what happened at Nuremberg.
Read Epictetus—often. Ditto Marcus Aurelius.
Raise your voice and argue. Stand up and be counted.
Like a flower blooming, always look sexy.
Your great uncle (John Daly) and Walter Cronkite were news anchors. Dan Rather sold advertising space. Learn the difference.
No. This market isn’t different.
When you greet a man confined to a chair, complement him on his wheels. It’s his home—his style statement.
Watch out. Wherever money is, someone will go after it.
The book is always better than the movie. Except for The Passion and Patton.
Remember your Mom on Mother’s day and Valentine’s Day.
Respect the law. It was the enforcement of contracts that made the ideas of 1776 work.
Eat meals with your family.
Never take a job based on the salary.
Go to confession regularly.
Be gentle on yourself. Others have done worse—and you will fail again.
Never bet into a one card draw. If you want to shoot the moon, pass the Jack of Diamonds.
Embrace Ecclesiastes. There is nothing new under the sun. Understand why “Eat, drink and be Merry” is biblical, not hedonistic. Give the Bible a chance.
Give all you meet the benefit of the doubt. You will only be forgiven to the degree that you forgive others.
Posing for Playboy is not art.
It’s not only OK to be judgmental, it is necessary for civilized people to co-exist.
9/11 happened. Be vigilant. Pollyanna was only partially right. There are people out there who will hurt you. December 7, 1941 happened too.
There are those who will take your family, your freedoms, your security, your possessions, your soul, your very happiness—just for sport.
Think moderation in all things.
Be wary of piercings and tattoos. Remember that all body decorations and desecrations advertise to the world your weaknesses and insecurities, not your strengths.
Honor merit and meritocracies.
If you love your dad, Pray Dr. Atkins is right.
The Star Spangled Banner has words for a reason. Sing them lustily and with a smile.
Published in General
Heh.
Keep your nose to the grindstone and focus upon making not only a living, but building a future.
Work hard to make the donuts and don’t think about safety nets. Take some calculated risks.
Understand that what you make at 22 years old can easily quadruple by age 25, but you must pay some dues by putting in serious time and extra analytical effort. Make yourself indispensable to your future employers and don’t be shy about tooting your own horn.
Don’t ever think it’s socially acceptable to run back home!
<Full disclosure: I have plagiarized my father here.>
I will be stealing this for my last 2 children, one graduating next week.
I better start doing some reading of my own, to back up the reading suggestions ;)
Of course they will be very surprised to learn that they have an uncle named John Daly, and that he was a newscaster!
Clearly, you come from good stock. Good on ya’ mate!
I used that in the same way Churchill did when told he shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition. His alleged famous response? “Madam, that is something up with which I will not put.”
Scotch-Irish. :)
I remember John Daly, unless there were two John Dalys who were anchors. The one I’m thinking of was the CBS anchor in Chicago when I was a kid.
EDIT: D’oh! That should have been Joel Daly, and it was ABC. Other than that….
Joe Walker, Jim Bridger, Kit Carson, Joseph Chiles, the list goes on. Those Scotch Irish were the first to explore and settle the West–they were tough, independent SOB’s. Many ended here in Pope Valley (in Napa Valley). They led the team which rescued the Donner Party.
Arguably, giving them advice at the time they graduate from college is too late. My own practice is to send a two-page letter to my nieces and nephews graduating from high school (along with a gift) warning them of the risks they are about to face, and of the things they must never forget. Oh, and by the way, Keats was full of it. Beauty and truth overlap by happenstance; and without much discrimination (Romantics? Really? As T. E. Hulme had it: Romanticism is spilt religion.) poetry is worthless. By the time they graduate from the Uni, they will have been taught that Maya Angelou is one of the Greats.
Point so very well taken. And for what it’s worth, Jeffrey E Warren, good work producing a CAL grad in the family. I’m proud of niece and nephew who are Michigan graduates – and 4th generation ones at that. :)
Congratulations and good luck, she is going to need it in this current time.
Good on ya’ mate. We had three get through (somehow)–also 4th generation. They may have been the last ones to be able to say they attended the “Greatest (next to Michigan, of course) Public University in the world. We are on a terrible down hill slide out here
Actually, she graduated a few years back–but your point is well taken. Thanks for the note