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A Pen and A Phone
I’d like to invite my Ricochet friends to join me in a game. I’ll explain the rules in a moment, but the name of the game is “A Pen and a Phone” and it’s all about executive power. What fun is state power, after all, if you don’t use it?
In the wake of the Obamacare fiasco, Barack Obama has been blocked from passing legislation much more consequential than commemorative postage stamps and bridge renamings. It isn’t just partisan gridlock; even Democrats shy away from being his legislative water-carriers. Faced with this trend, Obama now relies on executive orders, administrative actions, creative interpretations of legislative intent, and the placement of ideological fellow-travelers throughout the government to manifest his will. He’s got a pen and a phone and a supine press corps, and he’s not afraid to use them.
This opaque and deceptive Administration knows that every excess in the use and application of executive and regulatory power draws only polite murmurs of dissent from his political and media cheerleaders. What would have resulted in howls of outrage in the Bush years is now greeted with public demurral and private encouragement.
As conservatives, we rail against Obama short-circuiting Congressional intent, his breezy redefinition of any law or regulation that doesn’t suit him, and his l’etat c’est moi attitude.
Don’t deny it, though…the tools he’s using are deeply, deeply tempting. I’m not saying it’s right, but thoughts of sauce for the goose being sauce for the gander are irresistible, and a precedent is a precedent, yes?
With those temptations in mind, I’m proposing a game of counterfactuals for the Ricochet community to play: what would a ruthless Republican President do with the precedent Obama has set on executive power and action?
Here are the rules:
First, the game starts January 21, 2017. President Rick Wilson surged from nowhere, soundly besting Democratic nominee Elizabeth Warren. (Poor Hillary; always the bridesmaid, never the bride.) He’s just been sworn in and enjoys a majority in both the House and Senate. The GOP has a wide majority in the House and a very narrow majority in the Senate … so repealing Obamacare is still tough.
Second, President Wilson gives exactly zero damns about the New York Times editorial board, MSNBC, or anyone in the liberal media apparat. Nothing they can say or do will change his behavior in his first two years of office. He wants the media to soil their petticoats in rage and fear. Executive trolling is the order of the day.
Finally, your idea should be presented in one of three forms: executive orders, immediate administrative actions, and public policy “nudges” a la Cass Sunstein. Sure, President Wilson could propose laws, but why bother? You’re also welcome to describe the freakout on the Democratic and media side (but I repeat myself) in your scenario.
Here are a few examples:
• Effective immediately, President Wilson has moved the Justice Department’s Operation Chokepoint program into the newly-created White House Office of Financial Integrity. As such, he has directed banks to place Planned Parenthood and every other abortion provider in the same financial risk category the Obama Administration used to pressure banks to close the accounts of porn stars, gun dealers, coin brokers, and payday lenders. Amanda Marcotte’s on-air meltdown on the Rachel Maddow Show goes viral and receives over 6 million views on YouTube.
• Dozens of liberal advocacy groups, including Media Matters, Moms Demand Action, the League of Conservation Voters, NARAL, the Center for American Progress, and others receive notifications from the Internal Revenue Service that their 501(c) status is under an immediate review and, pending the conclusion of that review, they may not accept tax-deductible donations. When asked, the White House Press Secretary replies that there is not a smidgen of corruption at the IRS and refers reporter questions to the Cincinnati field office.
• President Wilson’s HHS issues a new set of strict federal health and safety guidelines for all late-term abortion providers, including mandatory weekly inspections, ethics training, admitting requirements, and a requirement to maintain $50 million in liability insurance per doctor. Abortion activists immediately complain that these rules will force the last late-term abortion providers out of business. When questioned at a press gaggle on his way to Marine One, President Wilson shrugs and says, “At some point, you’ve killed enough babies.”
• The Keystone Pipeline is approved. In completely unrelated news, every business to which Tom Steyer is connected comes under audit by the Internal Revenue Service and the Securities and Exchange Commission, and each of his facilities are inspected fortnightly for OSHA and EPA violations.
What are your ideas?
One more note: Don’t think like a conservative. Think like a statist. Think in terms of power and outcomes, not what’s right and wrong. Think like they think; supremely confident they’re not only right, but that they’ll never get caught. Play by their rules. Swing for the fences.
I can’t get my head around this game. I’m too instinctively conservative.
But, doing the best I can, I think there’s a trick here. You don’t skip proposing laws, President Wilson. The way it works is that you decide what you really want. Then you come up with something much more extreme and get your congressional allies to propose it. (You don’t have to publicly endorse their version — in fact you can use it as a rhetorical punching bag if you want.) Congress panics (at least your narrow majority in the Senate does) and stalls. You give a speech denouncing their inaction and telling them if they don’t act, you will. Congress stays stuck, and you make a sorrowful, dignified speech explaining how your hand has been forced, and use your executive power to do what you wanted to do in the first place.
All political appointees to agencies deemed to be exercising enumerated powers under Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution are terminated. No appointments are made to replace them.
The Congressional Budget and Impoundment Control Act of 1974 is deemed unconstitutional and President Wilson, pursuant to his oath of office, will impound funds for all activities of the federal government not authorised under Article I, Section 8. Who will have standing to challenge this?
Declare the Fort Hood shootings to be a terrorist act of war and award all victims and families the full benefits that they are entitled to.
Restore to military and police training materials all relevant discussion of the threat of “Islamic Terrorism”
Consonant with John Walker’s idea above, I would start with the State Department. All political appointees go immediately. Any federal employee with a job title with “deputy” in it also goes (no more deputy under-sectetaries of…). I believe the approval for federal government employee unions was a simple executive order by JFK, yes? If so, it is rescinded immediately, and all employees doing any Union work on company time are demoted to simple “employee”.
Pres Frozen signs 3 executive orders eliminating the Depts of Education, Energy and the EPA. When an outraged press asks why, he tells them we simply can’t afford all of those bureaucrats and more importantly we can’t afford all of those bureaucrats killing jobs with their destructive rules.
The new president then offers any company willing to build a new coal fired plant or nuclear powered plant an “express” application approval of 3 months, telling the American people that jobs require energy and more jobs require much more energy.
“It’s all about the jobs, baby!”
Add refineries to that list!
My goodness, I can’t think of a thing, but I will watch this thread with shock and awe.
Since the election, my staff has prepared roughly 300 Executive Orders. By the time the Congress, the bureaucracy and the press goes through them they won’t know what hit them.
Order #1 grants a universal waiver to Obamacare for all Americans. From now on you have to opt IN.
Order #2 places a four-year freeze on non-military federal hiring and mandates a wage ceiling. From now on, no federal employee can make more than the median wage at the nation’s largest private employer. (Read: Wal-Mart)
Use prosecutorial discretion (as Obama did with immigration) and refuse to prosecute any corporations that fail to pay corporate income taxes.
Love the 2nd idea…but I want a pack of trained, amoral political hacks installed in every agency to carry out my will. Further, I want to identify former Obama appointees who “burrowed” into the bureaucracy and reassign them to the new Federal Office Support Annex on Shemya, Alaska.
Excellent.
#1 was what I’ve been waiting for…so many shenanigans.
#2 is gonna leave a mark. ;)
President Wilson signs a one-sentence executive order negating all of President Obama’s executive orders. When MSNBC prime-time host Jay Carney labels Wilson “Derpy Rethuglican of the Week,” the President will tweet, “I won.”
Also, “Hey, Carney…PWNT!”
Press conference:
Pres. Wilson: “I’ve signed Executive Orders increasing the pay for each and every single Member of the Mighty American Armed Forces.”
Ghost of Helen Thomas: “Where in the budget did You find the money for that?”
Pres. Wilson: “I’m glad You asked. The Food Stamp Act of 1964 is unConstitutional, therefore the annual budget will be diverted to Our Military’s bank accounts.
“No longer will there be checks in the mail for the unemployed and unemployable, but instead applications to the new Frozen Chosen Coal Fired Plants and Frozen Chosen Nuclear Power Plants.
“And speaking of Our Mighty American Military, as Commander in Chief I’ve instructed the powers that be that the only ROE is to defeat Our enemies by any means possible.”
20 January 2019, 3:15 p.m.
WASHINGTON (Ricochet Wire) – “Enhanced Executive Orders” and other highlights of the Inaugural Address of the “Restoration Administration” of Rick Wilson, 45th President of the United States.
Restoration
Wilson announced that he will focus on “restoring constitutional governance to our republic,” claiming that doing so will “require using, for a time, the same extra-constitutional methods as my predecessor.” Wilson differentiated his resort to “pen and phone” from President Obama’s in two key respects: 1) “Enhanced executive orders” will be issued solely to reverse “imperial overreach by the outgoing administration”; and 2) such orders will only be permitted until the end of 2018; “Just long enough to drain the swamp.”
Wilson urged the new Republican-controlled Congress to approve his “Restoration Agenda” by suitable legislation, including language specifying that an “extra-constitutional executive order” issued by a president after January 1, 2019 constitutes grounds for impeachment.
Thermonuclear Option
Wilson called upon new Senate Majority Leader Ted Cruz (R-Texas) to extend the simple majority rule–the so-called “nuclear option”–to encompass legislation for a two-year period. The longstanding 60-vote supermajority requirement for approving presidential appointees was controversially discarded by former Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) when Democrats controlled the chamber. President Wilson proposed that the Senate agree in advance to full restoration of the 60-vote threshold for legislation and confirmation as of January 1, 2019.
The End of Obamacare
Wilson announced that his first Enhanced Executive Order will be to suspend enforcement of all provisions of the Affordable Care and Patient Protection Act, commonly known as Obamacare. He urged Congress to take up full repeal of President Obama’s signature legislative achievement as its first order of business.
The End of Dodd-Frank
President Wilson stated that many aspects of the Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act “are flatly unconstitutional” and announced that he would issue an enhanced executive order today suspending enforcement of the law. As with the ACA, Wilson called on Congress to fully repeal the act.
Reins on EPA
Wilson announced that he would also issue an enhanced executive order reversing the Obama Administration’s “war on coal and other fossil fuels.” He called on Congress to restructure the Environmental Protection Agency to ensure that it focuses on managing pollution, not “micromanaging our economy like some sort of politburo.”
Economic Recovery
Wilson called for congressional enactment of a sweeping “Liberty Act” to reignite economic growth. Key components of the Act include a sunset provision for all federal agencies and departments every five years unless reauthorized by a separate bill of Congress; congressional approval of all regulations with economic impacts above $100 million or fines or criminal penalties not explicitly authorized by statute; removal of 2009 “stimulus” funds from the federal baseline budget. A package of corporate and individual tax rate cuts aimed at restoring incentives to business formation, savings and investment were also proposed.
# # #
George…that was BRILLIANT. Spot on!
Wasn’t the EPA created by executive order? Couldn’t it be abolished? Every state has an EPA equivalent.
I’ve seen a couple references to political appointees. What executive orders could be issued to get rid of civil service positions, or at least vacate them? At will political appointees are automatically swept away when a new administration takes office. Not the civil service. The civil service has become politicized towards the Democrats, because Republicans advocate smaller government. Note that Richard Nixon, a Republican attempted to use the IRS to investigate his political enemies, and the civil service successfully resisted. On the other hand, under Obama, the IRS civil service did obstruct his political enemies, maybe without any express direction from their political masters.
If there was a way for a President to gut the civil service, that would be a good thing overall.
Any/All previous Executive Orders are hereby suspended pending constitutional review. Constitutional review means my understanding of the Constitution. Nuts to anyone else.
Then I would start with the Constitution as it was ratified. Any so-called department, etc., not found therein would simply be eliminated. Of course, the hue and cry would be unbelievable, but that could be shunted aside by reassigning the current employees of those now-defunct offices to a new bureau called the BUD – Bureau of Useless Dudes/Dudettes. They would continue to draw all of their current salaries and benefits, but there would never be any adjustment or increase. None would have any power to do anything but resign. Group A would be assigned to string together paper clips and group B would be assigned to separate the same clips. Just to affirm that I’m not a complete SOB, I would allow the current job-holders to continue in non-service until mandatory retirement at age 60 with 50% of benefits as currently stated.
We would return to a currency based on gold (first preference) or silver to seriously curtail Congress’s ability to inflate the currency just ’cause they can.
Public executions of this entire administration and every crooked government official. Wood chipper, feet first, and televised. For their wicked ways.
There must also be a reckoning for the crony capitalists who sold the rope to the progressives to hang us with. Targeted prosecutions of the worst bank and insurance company executives, their politician enablers, and relevant regulators would be a great start.
DocJay’s wood chipper or Obamacare-for-life would be the choices for sentence if found guilty.
1. Re-set the pay structure of the entirety of the civil service to that of the military. Job alignment to military pay scales shall weight inherent risk to personal safety ahead of other factors such as skills or experience.
2. All government unions are immediately de-certified.
3. Political activities by corporations shall prosecuted only if they fail to meet the standards demanded under 501(c)5 of the tax code (ie. unions).
4. Relocate the EPA headquarters to Cheyenne, Wyoming.
5. Break up the Department of Education into 50 offices, locate them in the state capitals and scale them according to the population of the states. Designate that the Secretary of Education shall have a staff of no greater than 10 personnel. While we’re at it, relocate the Secretary’s office to Leavenworth, Kansas
6. Designate the Secretary of Homeland Security subordinate to the Secretary of Defence (like the Secretary of the Army or Secretary of the Navy). Relocate the office of the Secretary to the top floor of the Freedom Tower in Manhattan.
7. Relocate the Department of Energy to ANWR.
8. Relocate the office of the Department of Housing and Urban Development to South Central LA.
Oh, I almost forgot. Cut the staff for the first lady to 1 person – a secretary to handle appointments and answer letters.
I think Moochelle has a staff of 50-60 people.
I forgot one, too. The new pres should initiate the process of selling off the majority of Federal land west of the Mississippi [Ricochet Distillery bumper sticker: Balance the Federal Budget-SELL THE WEST]. A large portion of that land should be sold to oil refiners who promise to build new, state-of-the-art refineries. Two birds with one stone, and western ranchers could own their grazing land.
Executive order eliminating all funding for police/paramilitary units in all executive departments and agencies except FBI, Secret Service, and U.S. Marshall Service.
Remove authority of IRS to seize assets or garnish wages without court order.
Ezra Klein is declared an enemy combatant. He is immediately placed in a headlock by White House Press Secretary DocJay.
Effective immediately the following departments are abolished:
dept of. Education
dept of. Energy
hhs
homeland security
Memo
To: Prime Minister Harper
Fr: President Wilson
How soon can we get started?