The Death of Marital Bliss — Michael Stopa

 

All is not necessarily harmonious in the First Family.

While official Washington has been focused on Euro-Asian wars and airliners gone astray over the Indian Ocean, the wound inflicted by the President’s folderol with Danish Prime Minister Helle Thoring-Schmidt at the Mandela funeral (was that all the way back in December?) seems to have festered. Perhaps there has been other perfectly innocent guy-behavior going on as well. But in any case, if Japanese politicians and The National Enquirer are to be believed (and why wouldn’t they be?), the possibility of divorce in the Obama family looms large.

Believing as I do in the integral family as the foundation of a strong society, I hate to see any domestic partnership rent asunder. But aren’t there times when the couple – to say nothing of their broader relations – are better served by divergent paths? And if such divergent paths are judged to be propitious, might it not be better – and I mean better for all of us, the Obamas and we Americans – if, in spite of some temporary turbulence in the White House, the journey apart begin sooner, rather than later?

As a guy, I am inclined to judge these things from a guy’s point of view. Count me biased, but I believe I can find some justice, to say nothing of some sympathy, for the President’s case.

The President is, in so many ways, just like you and me. He is a man who tries to be good and to do his best for others. He is a man who likes to laugh and who knows, pace conservative vitriol, how to laugh at himself.

But just like you and me he also has a little devil sitting on his left shoulder and talking into his ear. And do you know what that little devil is saying about all of this divorce talk right about now? He’s saying something like this:

Why not do it NOW, Barack?!

Why do you have to wait until after your term? We’re talking two years, Barack. TWO YEARS! And a half!

You looked in the mirror lately? Oh wait, stupid me. Who am I talking to? Of course you’ve looked in the mirror and you’ve seen what this Presidency gig is doing to you – just like they said it would. Add two more years to those jowls and that grey stuff you call hair and you think Mr. FORMER President of the United States is gonna be a hot item when you finally break free of Ms. Tyrannosaurus Rex? You think that little Danish Prime Minister Pastry is going to answer your texts when the spotlight’s not shining anymore? Are you kidding me?

And what frickin’ difference does it make if you get divorced now? Sure, so no President has gotten divorced while in office before. You afraid all of a sudden to be the first at something?

And look, things will be better for the American People once she leaves…and takes that frustrated Jarrett with her.

It’s not like she’s carrying her weight in this administration, you know? I mean, first she spends a gazillion dollars playing ping pong in China and now she’s getting bounced out of high school graduation speeches for chrissakes!

So what’s it gonna be B-Man? You just gonna sit there on the bed surfing to see who’s Chat Ready on Ashley Madison or are you going to DO something with your life?

…Hey, SHE’s not bad! OMG. Too bad the Leader of the Free World can’t invite her over and fire up Air Force One when he wants to.

It’s just like She says. You are pathetic, Barack.

Don’t you ever, sometimes, feel sorry for the guy? I mean, seriously. Because he is a guy. Forget all this metrosexual crap you hear and really look at that Mandela-fest selfie. I mean, any man who would openly flirt like a randy colt with a foxy Scandinavian Prime Ministeress while his wife was sitting there…at a funeral…can’t be all bad. And the sweet touch of including side-kick David Cameron was priceless. The whole thing put Teddy Kennedy and Chris Dodd to shame.

That selfie (you should google “Mandela funeral images” for fun) is not the behavior of a twisted, bullet-headed Marxist with a personal grievance against the world. Can you imagine, oh, Che Guevara doing that? Or Vladimir Lenin? Okay, so maybe Kim Jong-un would do it if he could. (Good luck with that).

But personal grievance central at the White House is obviously located in a different bedroom these days. And why wouldn’t Michelle Obama be personal grievance central? Think about it. She now has in her hands all that she could ever have dreamed of as a little girl and it obviously hasn’t made her happy. Maybe – and I say this seriously – maybe there is or will be salvation for her someday in some way. But for now, from where I sit, her life looks to be a living hell.

But not Barack.

He does not carry the same deeply imbedded arrowhead that she does. He’s not bent on the same vendetta.

So if she leaves (and, please, takes Auntie Valery with her), maybe the body politic will actually start to heal. Maybe he’d just as soon get along…not take any of this roll back the oceans stuff too seriously.

He’s not going to allow a repeal of Obamacare. No one is expecting that. But maybe some cuts in social programs will go down (“better if people don’t loaf around so much”), maybe the Keystone pipeline gets the ok (“man, after last winter we need some global warming around here”)…maybe he starts to really deport illegal aliens (“those guys are just not helping the poor, jobless bros anyway”).

If she leaves – and it will be a horrible mess at least for a while – he might just be able to start burnishing the legacy for real. He might start to reach out – for real. And maybe that will infuriate those of us on the right who carry our own arrowheads. But a lot of people will benefit if the blue hot ideological torch in the White House gets extinguished.

As a card-carrying cynic I, for one, am not supposed to believe in the possibility of Redemption. But I do. And I think for sure that if there is Redemption, then the journey to it can be initiated by a spirit on either shoulder.

What do you think? Do you believe that Barack Obama can be redeemed?

 

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  1. The King Prawn Inactive
    The King Prawn
    @TheKingPrawn

    The funniest outcome would be if they did divorce and a judge ordered him out of the White House and for her and the kids to remain until the end of his term.

    But seriously, she may be a shrew, but she’s his shrew, and I don’t wish the pain of divorce on anyone.

    • #1
  2. Little Ricky Cobden Inactive
    Little Ricky Cobden
    @LittleRickyCobden

    I think your premise is silly but since I don’t follow celebrity gossip I may well be ignorant of the facts here. As far as the blue hot flame of the ideological tourch goes, I see zero evidence that the first lady is its source. Everything about our President from his life story to his writings to his actions in public life scream ideology. The man is a card-carrying statist.

    I think Obama just looks board. He has thirty three months left in office, no political capital left to spend and no hope of enacting anything else on his agenda to bolster his legacy.

    • #2
  3. Z in MT Member
    Z in MT
    @ZinMT

    There may be tensions between the President and the First Lady, but I don’t think things are that bad.

    • #3
  4. user_517406 Inactive
    user_517406
    @MerinaSmith

    I think this is mostly tongue-in-cheek.  Bravo!  It lightened my morning.  Fine imitation of a gossip columnist, Michael!  Who woulda thunk a scientist would have that trick up his sleeve?

    • #4
  5. Michael Stopa Member
    Michael Stopa
    @MichaelStopa

    @Merina Thanks!

    • #5
  6. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    The Rolling Stones had a song about sympathy for the Obama.  The answer is no I don’t have one bit.   I wish him an eternity of pain and suffering.   Stay married Barry, it’s for the kids.

    • #6
  7. user_891102 Member
    user_891102
    @DannyAlexander

    Apparently he saw (still sees?) himself as a 21st-century African-American version of Abe Lincoln.

    The subtext of that is that his wife is a 21st-century African-American version of Mary Todd Lincoln.

    • #7
  8. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Funny post.  But, of course, she knows too much.  He’d have to have her offed. 

    After all, when she filed and named names of all his inappropriate relationships, a lot of guys might be angry. . .especially if they were left off the list.

    • #8
  9. PsychLynne Inactive
    PsychLynne
    @PsychLynne

    The whole thing is funny…but this statement had me laughing out loud.

    He does not carry the same deeply embedded arrowhead that she does.

    • #9
  10. Michael Stopa Member
    Michael Stopa
    @MichaelStopa

    Thanks PsychLynne…but I think it is probably true too.

    • #10
  11. user_7742 Inactive
    user_7742
    @BrianWatt

    How do the rest of us file divorce from Obama? There must be a way. I’m tired of waking up with him every morning. And he still smokes. You don’t know it. But he does.

    • #11
  12. Michael Stopa Member
    Michael Stopa
    @MichaelStopa

    @Brian I won’t ask how you know. I’m assuming it
    has nothing to do with Ashley Madison.

    • #12
  13. user_7742 Inactive
    user_7742
    @BrianWatt

    Michael Stopa:

    @Brian I won’t ask how you know. I’m assuming it has nothing to do with Ashley Madison.

     Michelle and I went shopping the other day in Spain…

    • #13
  14. profdlp Inactive
    profdlp
    @profdlp

    I actually knew a couple like them once.  Two miserable people stuck with each other for who-knows-why.

    I viewed it as a good marriage – it prevented either one of them (or both) from ruining an innocent person’s life.

    • #14
  15. user_1066 Inactive
    user_1066
    @MorituriTe

    What do you think? Do you believe that Barack Obama can be redeemed?

    No

    • #15
  16. Lavaux Inactive
    Lavaux
    @Lavaux

    Obama has a history of seeking and winning jobs he’s not qualified for and then doing them poorly. He was a lousy law review president at Harvard, a lousy state senator, a lousy federal senator, and now he’s a lousy president who does far more good for the county on the golf course than in the Oval Office. I can also imagine Michelle Obama as a very demanding, unyielding, high-maintenance wife who bitterly chafes under Barak’s inclination to avoid the reality and consequences of biting off far more than he can chew by offering spin and promises in place of honest self-assessment and remedial hard work.

    Of course this is mere speculation based on observation from afar, so who knows what’s really going on? Regardless, I (as did most other guys my age) liked Slick Willy as the redneck rascal; name me another president who you can imagine rockin’ a frat party? Maybe Barak’s canoodling with Helle was a slick political ploy straight out of Bubba’s playbook.

    • #16
  17. Jon Gabriel, Ed. Contributor
    Jon Gabriel, Ed.
    @jon

    Has anyone else noticed how much time they spend apart? Michelle regularly jets around the world, usually with just her mom and kids. She spent her own birthday away from her husband, which seemed very odd. And it seems like whenever Barack has down time, he’s on the golf course, far from his family. He doesn’t just play 9 or 18 holes a day, but sometimes 36. I can’t imagine spending half that amount of time away from my girls, especially during their brutal teen years.

    The whole arrangement just seems odd to me and it is never even provokes curiosity in the press.

    • #17
  18. iWc Coolidge
    iWc
    @iWe

    I think Barack is a perfect set-piece. He basks in the adulation of others, male or female (yes, he clearly is flexible on that score). 

    If Michelle has stopped worshipping him (certainly true), or if she expects him to spend any more time on her than he feels like he wants to spend (very likely), then their marriage is already dead.  The marriage of Barack and Michelle is a zombie flight, droning on into the night long after everyone aboard is dead. Eventually it will drop out of the sky when nobody is watching, never to be seen again.

    • #18
  19. rico Inactive
    rico
    @rico

    Very funny, esp. : “You looked in the mirror lately? Oh wait, stupid me. Who am I talking to?”

    But, kidding aside, it strikes me as remarkable that the First Lady turned down an invitation to dine with the Emperor of Japan and his wife at a formal state dinner. More than an embarrassment, this is extremely rude and insulting, and I see it as an overt act of defiance on her part.

    • #19
  20. Howellis Inactive
    Howellis
    @ManWiththeAxe

    I don’t know what they feel for each other, but they will have learned from the Clintons how to maximize their post-presidential prospects for wealth. They can stay married, make millions from their speechifying, and live separate lives, occasionally showing up in the same place, usually with the children present, for the sake of appearances.

    • #20
  21. user_51254 Member
    user_51254
    @BereketKelile

    I thought the devil on Obama’s shoulder was going to tell him that a divorce could somehow be used to his advantage to take back the Congress this November. He could run as the pitiful, divorcee who was abandoned by his wife in his time of need. Now, the nation has to come to his aid like a collective support group and get him through these last couple of years in the White House.

    • #21
  22. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Don’t give them any ideas!

    • #22
  23. Pencilvania Inactive
    Pencilvania
    @Pencilvania

    For maximum effect, I think a divorce rumor will ‘leak’ in October 2016 right around the time that unredacted memos showing Hillary’s unmistakable involvement in Benghazi will surface.  Joe Biden, who will be Hill’s VP partner, will demand Hillary step down and Michelle step up, so that millions of Obama/Biden bumper stickers stored in Solyndra’s basement are not wasted. 

    The Dems know they need the Obama name on the ticket.

    • #23
  24. Michael Stopa Member
    Michael Stopa
    @MichaelStopa

    @Rico thanks…I was kinda proud of that one…

    • #24
  25. TheRoyalFamily Member
    TheRoyalFamily
    @TheRoyalFamily

    You are all now imagining a world-leaders swinger party.

    You’re welcome.

    • #25
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