Kill Me, Please! Just Don’t Make Me Read That Book — Tabula Rasa

 

Let’s say you’re in prison and you are told you must read a book or be executed. Most of us would muddle through the book, no matter how distasteful.

On the other hand, each of us probably has a list of books so bad that, given a choice between reading one of them and death, we’d seriously consider death as the better alternative.

On my list is any novel by D. H. Lawrence: I detest everything about his writing.  Likewise any book by Noam Chomsky.

I have a new one I’m adding to my list.  Debuting on May 12, you will have the chance to buy Stress Test: Reflections on Financial Crises by Timothy Geithner. Can you imagine anything worse? The subject matter is depressing and the theme is obvious: it’s all George Bush’s fault. The author is a whiny tax-dodging Obama apologist. Will it be interesting? No. Will it illuminate? No. Will there be any good anecdotes?  No.

There may be a handful of sentient creatures who will read the book, but I won’t be one of them.

Will you?

What books are on your “I’d rather take poison than read this book” list?

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  1. Suzanne Temple Inactive
    Suzanne Temple
    @SuzanneTemple

    tabula rasa: On my list is any novel by D. H. Lawrence: I detest everything about his writing. 

     I hear ya! I once read Lawrence’s “Women in Love” which, by the way, is the most misleading title ever. It should’ve been called “Men in Love … with Each Other.” Lawrence’s random scenes of young men wresting playfully in the nude was a little too much for my taste. 

    • #61
  2. Midget Faded Rattlesnake Member
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    @Midge

    Suzanne Temple:

    I once read Lawrence’s “Women in Love” which, by the way, is the most misleading title ever. It should’ve been called “Men in Love … with Each Other.”

    You, too? That was also the DHL novel I had to read, and I came to the same conclusion. (I had to write an essay on the darn thing, which I entitled “Men in Love”.)

    • #62
  3. user_140544 Inactive
    user_140544
    @MattBlankenship

    The World is Flat by Tom Friedman.

    • #63
  4. user_140544 Inactive
    user_140544
    @MattBlankenship

    Kahlil Gibran’s Collected Works.  The greatest scathing book review I have ever read–and I am a particular fan of the genre–was this poetic literary evisceration published a few years ago in First Things.  It begins:

    Expansive and yet vacuous is the prose of Kahlil Gibran, 
    And weary grows the mind doomed to read it. 
    The hours of my penance lengthen, 
    The penance established for me by the editor of this magazine, 
    And those hours may be numbered as the sands of the desert. 

    (continued in next comment)

    • #64
  5. user_140544 Inactive
    user_140544
    @MattBlankenship

    (continued)
    And for each of them Kahlil Gibran has prepared
    Another ornamental phrase,
    Another faux-Biblical cadence,
    Another affirmation proverbial in its intent
    But alas! lacking the moral substance,
    The peasant shrewdness, of the true proverb.O Book, O Collected Works of Kahlil Gibran ,
    Published by Everyman’s Library on a dark day,
    I lift you from the Earth to which I recently flung you
    When my wrath grew too mighty for me,
    I lift you from the Earth,
    Noticing once more your annoying heft,
    And thanking God”though such thanks are sinful”
    That Kahlil Gibran died in New York in 1931
    At the age of forty-eight,
    So that he could write no more words,
    So that this Book would not be yet larger than it is.

    • #65
  6. user_140544 Inactive
    user_140544
    @MattBlankenship

    Anything by Maya Angelou or  Anna Quindlen.   Maureen Dowd’s Bushworld.

    • #66
  7. Suzanne Temple Inactive
    Suzanne Temple
    @SuzanneTemple

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake: That was also the DHL novel I had to read, and I came to the same conclusion. (I had to write an essay on the darn thing, which I entitled “Men in Love”.)

     Great minds think alike :) 

    • #67
  8. Fricosis Guy Listener
    Fricosis Guy
    @FricosisGuy

    Naked Lunch made me want to lose my lunch. And I took enough drugs to be in Burroughs’ sweet spot. 

    I also was so bored when visiting my folks I picked up John Dean’s apologia pro Dean called Blind Ambition. Couldn’t keep hold of it for all the sanctimony that dripped from it.

    • #68
  9. Spin Inactive
    Spin
    @Spin

    Brian Watt:

    Proposed Law (when a Republican President takes office with a Republican Congress): The Presidential nominee for Secretary of the Treasury must show proof that he or she can add, subtract, do mulitplication, division, explain in clear and concise language what a derivative is, and that he or she has paid his or her taxes to the federal government and applicable state taxes where he or she resides. Any failure to provide such documentation and any record on non-payment of either federal or applicable state taxes will immediately disqualify said nominee from consideration for approval by the Senate…or words to that effect.

     Racist!

    • #69
  10. Pike Bishop Inactive
    Pike Bishop
    @PikeBishop

    tabula rasa:

    Pike Bishop:

    Stephen King, ‘nuf said

    The last Stephen King book I read was The Stand, which I enjoyed. Tried a couple of others, but the disgust factor quickly overcame any desire to find out what happened.

     Semi-enjoyed The Stand, even have the unabridged version and the movie (wife’s idea). I liked the desert scenes knowing the characters passed close to my present area of residence. It’s like knowing I drive over the routes Jedediah Smith traversed on his way to California back in the 1820s.

    • #70
  11. Midget Faded Rattlesnake Member
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    @Midge

    Brian Watt:

    Proposed Law (when a Republican President takes office with a Republican Congress): The Presidential nominee for Secretary of the Treasury must show proof that he or she can add, subtract, do mulitplication, division,  explain in clear and concise language what a derivative is…

    Hang on, is that a Calculus derivative or a derivative asset?

    • #71
  12. Podkayne of Israel Inactive
    Podkayne of Israel
    @PodkayneofIsrael

    Well, I liked Lolita. In fact, I was amused to find that it wasn’t really about what most people seemed to think.

    • #72
  13. Salamandyr Inactive
    Salamandyr
    @Salamandyr

    I’ve already read the book…Very Bad Deaths by Spider Robinson.  I believe the tribulation I suffered making it through that book has gotten me out of at least 30 minutes of Purgatory.

    • #73
  14. Britanicus Member
    Britanicus
    @Britanicus

    Pike Bishop:

    Stephen King, ‘nuf said

     I actually just read my first King novel the other day, Salem’s Lot, and I found it to be quite enjoyable. What don’t you like about King?

    • #74
  15. user_48342 Member
    user_48342
    @JosephEagar

    tabula rasa:

    If there are no good anecdotes, what are we left with? A book by one of the most boring men in recent history (does anyone remember a single memorable sentence ever uttered by Geither, other than “it’s the fault of the prior administration”) writing about a subject that, let’s face it, unless you’re a finance buff is dismally boring. And it’s highly likely he’ll deep-six many of the real reasons for the crisis: e.g., the housing bubble caused by Democratic lending policies.

    I have a hard time seeing Geitner spending too much effort pinning the blame on Bush; he was a top regulator himself at the time, you know.

    By the way, if you subscribe to the view that the crisis was caused by reckless fiscal policy, then it really was Bush’s fault, even if the specific form the crisis took (a housing collapse) was caused by Democratic lending policies.  If those policies hadn’t existed, some other sector of the economy would have experienced a bubble instead.  That’s how balance of payments crises work.

    There’s a reason we had the Great Bush Purge.

    • #75
  16. tabula rasa Inactive
    tabula rasa
    @tabularasa

    Joseph Eagar:

    I have a hard time seeing Geitner spending too much effort pinning the blame on Bush; he was a top regulator himself at the time, you know.

    By the way, if you subscribe to the view that the crisis was caused by reckless fiscal policy, then it really was Bush’s fault, even if the specific form the crisis took (a housing collapse) was caused by Democratic lending policies. If those policies hadn’t existed, some other sector of the economy would have experienced a bubble instead. That’s how balance of payments crises work.

    There’s a reason we had the Great Bush Purge.

    Joseph:  You’re taking a mildly humorous attempt at humor a bit too seriously.  I have no idea what Geithner will say, nor do I care.  He was boring in office; he’ll be boring now.  And he had little problem blaming everything on Bush when was in office.  Remember?

    If his books floats your boat, please read it. I won’t be joining you (which was my point).

    • #76
  17. user_48342 Member
    user_48342
    @JosephEagar

    tabula rasa:

    Joseph: You’re taking a mildly humorous attempt at humor a bit too seriously. I have no idea what Geithner will say, nor do I care. He was boring in office; he’ll be boring now. And he had little problem blaming everything on Bush when was in office. Remember?

    If his books floats your boat, please read it. I won’t be joining you (which was my point).

    It could be worse; we could be talking about Alan Greenspan’s book.

    • #77
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