My Vox Resume — Frank Soto

 

Ezra Klein’s new website Vox has been the subject of a great deal of mockery on the right (and even some on the left). The site claims to be able to teach you “Everything you need to know” about a wide range of topics.

Critics have asked Klein how he determines what people “need” to know, in the vain hope of getting an answer aside from naked partisan hackery. His response appears to be that he goes only where the empirical data takes him … which is naturally down a path of unbridled leftism. We conservatives apparently allow our pre-conceived notions to interfere with our interpretation of facts. Liberals naturally do not suffer from this affliction.

Vox tells us several things about Ezra Klein. First, he adores PowerPoint, as the entire site is laid out like a series of slides. Second, he believes most Americans are stupid, as evidenced by some of the topics he spends time explaining: What is marijuana? What is the internet? What is a student loan?

However, I think Klein has accurately read the attention span and overall knowledge base of young Americans. Having been largely educated in government schools, we can hardly expect them to have an understanding of the words “student” or “loan,” let alone expect them to be able to combine the two and infer a broader definition.

I’m convinced I can help Vox’s liberal audience understand by Rico-splaining a number of topics. Below I have created several Vox style “cards” to demonstrate my usefulness to Klein’s new venture. If he has any sense at all, I will be hired immediately.

For the average liberal college student I can offer a great deal of insight.

job_card3

For those hippies who doubt the wisdom of accumulated societal knowledge.

soap_card3

Some information is as useful to adults as it is to the young.

sobriety_card3

No topic is too basic to cover

.

breathing

I’ve already got the job, don’t I?

There are 46 comments.

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  1. C. U. Douglas Thatcher

    I’m going to use my best. J. Jonah Jameson voice here: “You’re hired! And then you’re fired! And then you’re hired again! Why are you standing there?! Get to work!”

    • #1
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:26 AM PDT
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  2. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member

    Like.

    • #2
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:26 AM PDT
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  3. The (apathetic) King Prawn Inactive

    I needed that laugh today. Thanks, Frank!

    • #3
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:27 AM PDT
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  4. Lucy Pevensie Inactive

    Love it.

    • #4
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:30 AM PDT
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  5. Doctor Bass Monkey Inactive

    This is scarily coming true. I got two emails from customers last week that made me question our future. One asked me what the difference was between planned and unplanned downtime. The other asked me how to set up his Windows 7 security on a box that was running XP. These are college educated individuals. I’m betting they are Klein’s target demo and peers.

    • #5
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:36 AM PDT
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  6. No Caesar Thatcher

    “Rico-splaining”, love it.

    • #6
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:39 AM PDT
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  7. tabula rasa Member

    After writing and mailing checks to the IRS and State Tax Commission this morning, I was deeply depressed. So depressed that I was contemplating some mindless form of self-injury (perhaps hitting my thumb with a hammer).

    Before looking for my hammer, I clicked on this hilarious post; even in the midst of my tax-induced depression, it caused me to emit an audible chuckle.

    My equilibrium was restored. I’ve decided to wait until next year to smash my thumb.

    Thanks, Frank.

    Moral: Liberal idiocy (see, e.g, Vox) has a purpose: seeing it mocked can lift one from the slough of despond.

    • #7
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:58 AM PDT
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  8. Misthiocracy grudgingly Member

    tabula rasa: After writing and mailing checks to the IRS and State Tax Commission this morning…

    “Mailing”?

    “Checks”?

    What is this sorcery of which you speak?!

    ;-)

    • #8
    • April 15, 2014, at 10:30 AM PDT
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  9. Owen Findy Member

    Frank, are you sure “Soto” is not a synonym for “J. Fleming”?

    Outstanding!

    • #9
    • April 15, 2014, at 10:49 AM PDT
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  10. Josh F. Inactive

    This post is a hilarious take-down of Vox. Bravo.

    • #10
    • April 15, 2014, at 12:05 PM PDT
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  11. Albert Arthur Coolidge

    tabula rasa: After writing and mailing checks to the IRS and State Tax Commission this morning, I was deeply depressed. 

     Yeah, me too! 

    I was talking to a co-worker, who to his credit (since there’s 90% chance he’s a liberal) was also complaining about taxes. I said, “yeah, the 16th Amendment is my least favorite.” And he said, “which one is that?”

    WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK IT IS?!

    • #11
    • April 15, 2014, at 12:25 PM PDT
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  12. tabula rasa Member

    Misthiocracy:

    tabula rasa: After writing and mailing checks to the IRS and State Tax Commission this morning…

    “Mailing”?

    “Checks”?

    What is this sorcery of which you speak?!

    ;-)

     The returns were efiled, but the checks were actually mailed. Why? Because I have to rob a bank and deposit the cash before the checks clear.

    • #12
    • April 15, 2014, at 3:56 PM PDT
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  13. tabula rasa Member

    Frank: I like the breathing chart. It communicates well. But, I’m shocked that you did not address the environmental devastation being wrought be all the CO2 we’re exhaling.

    • #13
    • April 15, 2014, at 4:02 PM PDT
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  14. Rawls Inactive

    These are awesome!

    • #14
    • April 15, 2014, at 4:56 PM PDT
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  15. Vance Richards Member

    For the average liberal college student I can offer a great deal of insight.

    I don’t know, I think you might lose them with the whole “What is a job” thing. I can see Klein readers asking, “But if most jobs suck and make you do hard work, and my mom and dad already have jobs, why can’t I just stay with them?”

    • #15
    • April 15, 2014, at 5:10 PM PDT
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  16. KC Mulville Inactive

    On target – well done.

    It’s ridiculous that this self-appointed “Referee of Truth” comes from MSNBC.

    • #16
    • April 15, 2014, at 5:50 PM PDT
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  17. captainpower Inactive

    If you disagree with the content of their slides, that’s one thing.
    But if you disagree with the usefulness of the idea, then I think you are missing the point.

    The idea of “explainers” is brilliant.

    Before I realized it was a lefty site, I subscribed to the explainers rss feed.

    These are topics that take a lot of reading to fully understand.
    For them to attempt to boil them down to their essence is an information junkie’s dream.

    Here are some of the interesting topics they attempt to explain:
    Everything you need to know about…

    • marijuana legalization
    • gerrymandering
    • fracking
    • Passover
    • bank capital
    • Global warming
    • vaccines
    • Paul Ryan’s 2015 budget
    • the minimum wage
    • income inequality
    • Pope Francis
    • Heartbleed Bug
    • Common Core
    • the Ukraine crisis
    • the NSA and Edward Snowden
    • Federal taxes
    • How McCutcheon v. FEC will change American politics
    • Super PACs and dark money
    • Bitcoin
    • the affordable housing debate
    • Benghazi
    • Student debt
    • Gender wage gap
    • college costs
    • same-sex marriage
    • Health-care spending
    • Immigration reform
    • Entitlement reform

    They are also releasing at a respectable rate:

    • 06 APR: 2 new explainers
    • 07 APR: 6
    • 08 APR: 4
    • 09 APR: 5
    • 10 APR: 9
    • 11 APR: 6
    • 12 APR: 2
    • 13 APR: 2
    • 14 APR: 7
    • 15 APR: 2

    The closest conservative equivalent I am aware of are Dennis Prager’s “Prager University” 5-minute video series.

    Please share if you know additional concise alternatives.

    • #17
    • April 15, 2014, at 6:30 PM PDT
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  18. Done Contributor
    Done Post author

    Captain Power,

    Can you put that comment in card form for me? No more then 140 characters please. Use small words where possible.

    • #18
    • April 15, 2014, at 6:46 PM PDT
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  19. Roberto, Crusty Old Timer Member

    captainpower:

    If you disagree with the content of their slides, that’s one thing.But if you disagree with the usefulness of the idea, then I think you are missing the point.

    The idea of “explainers” is brilliant.

    Before I realized it was a lefty site, I subscribed to the explainers rss feed.

    These are topics that take a lot of reading to fully understand.For them to attempt to boil them down to their essence is an information junkie’s dream.

    Here are some of the interesting topics they attempt to explain:Everything you need to know about…

    That is actually rather interesting, although likely not in the manner the sites publishers would prefer be widely known. 

    What you are describing is an active and broad based propaganda mechanism, the ease of the format must appear irresistible to modern day youth. I do wonder how many impressionable college youths are latching onto this fire hose of nonsense and sucking it dry.

    To a certain demographic, this must seem the cutting edge of information dissemination. How many bring a skeptical eye to such? None I suspect.

    • #19
    • April 15, 2014, at 7:03 PM PDT
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  20. Percival Thatcher

    Whiskey Sam:

    …what the difference was between planned and unplanned downtime.

     Good Lord, it’s spreading.

    They’ll want an unplanned downtime schedule next. You know they will.

    • #20
    • April 15, 2014, at 7:59 PM PDT
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  21. captainpower Inactive

    Frank Soto:

    Can you put that comment in card form for me? No more then 140 characters please. Use small words where possible.

    continued…

    • #21
    • April 15, 2014, at 8:32 PM PDT
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  22. Fricosis Guy Listener

    Brit Hume shout-out on Twitter here.

    • #22
    • April 15, 2014, at 8:33 PM PDT
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  23. captainpower Inactive

    …continued (from a moderated comment that was too awesome for wordpress to let through, apparently)…

    Summary of their 14-card series on gerrymandering:

    totals:

    • 3,780 words. 
    • 18 pictures. 
    • 20 unique external hyperlinks links (6 links repeated).
    • #23
    • April 15, 2014, at 8:34 PM PDT
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  24. Done Contributor
    Done Post author

    Cap,

    It’s glorified talking points, that reach only an already liberal audience. Many of the cards are laughable. One of the Pope cards asks “Is this the first pope to use twitter?”

    The answer was no.

    • #24
    • April 15, 2014, at 8:42 PM PDT
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  25. captainpower Inactive

    …continued some more…

    …continued some more…

    • #25
    • April 15, 2014, at 8:51 PM PDT
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  26. captainpower Inactive

    …continued some more…

    totals

    • 21,188 words (not including PDF, interactive site, or the amazon book)
    • average word count per URL: 1412.5

    grand total

    • time spent on comment #21, #23, #25, #26: 1 hour
    • amount of frustration from not being able to fit #23/#25/#26 into a single comment: incalculable.
    • #26
    • April 15, 2014, at 8:55 PM PDT
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  27. Doctor Bass Monkey Inactive

    Percival:

    Whiskey Sam:

    …what the difference was between planned and unplanned downtime.

    Good Lord, it’s spreading.

    They’ll want an unplanned downtime schedule next. You know they will.

     It’s getting really bad. Since I told Facebook I speak Jawa, they now think I am qualified to help them translate their site into Javanese.

    • #27
    • April 15, 2014, at 9:03 PM PDT
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  28. Hammer, The Member

    thank God for tags. I typed the word “vox” into the search bar and stumbled across this post.

    (was going to thank you for the laugh, but not for removing my blissful ignorance of Klein’s new, helpful website. Now, liberals will no longer have to argue with me while frantically searching wikipedia on their cellphones. Does vox come in flashcards?)

    • #28
    • April 15, 2014, at 11:55 PM PDT
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  29. Schrodinger's Cat Inactive

    Congratulations!
    This was tweeted by Brit Hume.

    • #29
    • April 16, 2014, at 4:38 AM PDT
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  30. Fricosis Guy Listener

    My theory: Vox isn’t intended for the public at large, it’s too simple-minded. Its target audience is Journolists.

    • #30
    • April 16, 2014, at 6:58 AM PDT
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