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How to Support Your Jewish Friends in These Tough Times
As anti-Semitic incidents continue to add up, and I worry about how my Jewish friends are doing, I’ve been wondering what our gentile friends might be able to do to help us. I suspect that most of my gentile friends already know what would be meaningful and helpful to me, but perhaps some of you out there wonder if there is something you can do to reassure
and comfort other Jews in your life. I assume that most of my Jewish friends are not in panic mode, but I suspect that their feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty about the state of the country might be in the background. So, if any of you are wondering what you can do or say to encourage us, I thought I would suggest what steps you might take. (Please note that this post is not a hint to my friends at Ricochet; most of you, in one way or another, have offered wonderful support.)
First, I would not try to pretend that nothing is different. With Israel and Hamas still in the headlines, the anti-Semitic campus protests, and most recently the killings in Washington, DC and terrorist attacks in Boulder, CO, the hatred is hard to ignore. When these events occur, I don’t think you need to make a big deal of it; just a few words to let a Jewish friend know that you are sad and that you care about him/her in your own words would suffice.
On the other hand, if you run into denial—the Jewish person thinks it will all pass over—I would not argue. Denial is the way some people cope with difficulty. Rather than argue with the person, acknowledge you both feel differently, and it is what it is.
Second, invite the person to talk about the state of affairs if he or she wishes to do so. If the person declines your offer, let it go with a smile. You might add that the offer doesn’t have an expiration date; she might be interested in talking at another time.
Third, if there’s some aspect of these events that are unclear to you—either details of the occurrences or the reasons behind them—you can ask the person to explain some aspect. He may not be able or willing to clarify the situation, but the two of you might have discovered a rich area of conversation.
I’m blessed to have special Jewish and gentile friends in my life. But there are many Jews who don’t interact with other Jews with whom they can commiserate, or gentile friends they are close to, and they just might welcome your offer of comfort.
Give it some thought.
Published in Culture
A heartfelt post, Susan. Very good advice here. Thank you!
Thanks, Gary. I feel like I am doing so little myself!
Perhaps try to agree on a bigger point that increasing Leftist/Marxist violence is growing. From those saying “looting is reparations” to denying medical care for the unvaccinated to the assassination attempts on Trump to the killing of Jews in our streets–the Left promotes violence and evil.
I think pointing out the larger context is great. Not comparing them but explaining all the other serious incidents. Thanks, Don.
It’s appalling and ugly, and it’s increasing on the Right as well. Importing thousands of anti-Semites accelerated it.
At this point, anyone could be a potential hater.
I’m reminded of this song every time an event like this happens.
(Himmelman, an Orthodox Jew, is married to one of Bob Dylan’s daughters.)
I would advise my Jewish friends to purchase a handgun and learn how to use it. Carry it concealed (a permit may or may not be required, depending on location) and be alert for anything suspicious . . .
It is shocking the extent that the culture has shifted toward antisemitism. I choose to believe that it is not as wide-spread as media coverage suggests (I would love to know how rural Jews feel). But it doesn’t take a lot to puncture one’s sense of safety and well-being.
Donate here —->
https://www.securecommunitynetwork.org
I don’t see why every Jew doesn’t have guns everywhere. Even if it’s a .22 revolver, you are better off. JMO.
I know I keep harping on this, but I think visible signs of solidarity–wearing a Star of David pin —is helpful to a wider range of people. I’ve got a t-shirt that says “Am Yisrael Chai” in Hebrew: Passers-by definitely react to it, and many smile at me or start a conversation.
These pins, from Etsy, are cheery and colorful. I am, as y’all know, a staunch supporter of the Jewish state, but I’m also staunch supporter of American Jews who, whatever they think about Israel, Bibi and all the rest, are nonetheless clearly threatened and targeted for being Jewish.
“Are you a Jew?”
Ever since October 7th I am.
I have to admit my struggle. I lost the silver menorah charm necklace; the clasp wasn’t closed properly. Ever since then I’ve been thinking about getting a new one. And I hesitate. On the one hand, I do want to make a statement; on the other hand, am I putting myself and my husband at risk?
Thank you for your post and suggestion. I did text a note of support and my outrage at the rise of antisemitism here and globally to my friends. They were very appreciative. I love Granny Dude’s idea and her response “Ever since October 7th I am.”
Thanks so much, Nohaaj. Granny Dude’s reminder inspired me to action, and I just ordered a new star of David.
I don’t think there’s any grounds for the second part of this sentence. Anti-Semitism is inherently leftist, leftism including the hatred for a people based simply on who they are. They could be Jews, or they could be kulaks.
I just heard a podcast with Rod Dreyer who says it is showing up with the right, with much less influence –for now. Boys who are so heavily rejected are gravitating to a group glad to welcome them: white supremacists.
That awful event brought out so many things many didn’t realize including me. Mainly, how deep antisemitism is all these years after WWII and how much of it has been spread deliberately by propaganda. I don’t think college kids head to school as freshmen hating people. It seems to be worldwide but very concentrated in the US. We have these movements that come out of nowhere – the big gay and trans push, the George Floyd event that became a worldwide movement and led to reverse-discrimination, and now turning on the Jewish community.
These events are not just natural – I will say that some of my liberal Jewish neighbors defend some very unsavory views in defense of liberal politics and refuse to see the patterns that lead to ugly repeats of history. The propaganda though, is rampant among the young and history is being erased.
I always appreciate your comments, FSC.