Moon, June, Spoon…Spring Things and Larry King Things

 

Well, Pride Month goes before the Fall, so it’s here again already, although it seemed like it was every month last year. There’s no Pride Month in Korea. I’m not sure they do month-long celebrations.

Recently, I was wandering lonely as a cloud, which is my style, and remembered it had been more than a fortnight, so I decided to write some random thoughts down again, Larry King USA Today column-style. Let’s have no ado at all:

I bet Al Sharpton fishes with race bait…

It’s said that nature abhors a vacuum. I abhor mayonnaise…

One thing that DEFINITELY exists in a vacuum is dust…

Mayor Adams of New York had his charges dropped with prejudice, but that’s just because he’s black…

Why do pancakes need makeup?

You learn the most curious things reading Old West history books: the Earps were Jews and Butch Cassidy was a Mormon. I half-expected to read that Big Nose Kate was a Moonie…

I was never AT the drawing board…

Some say domestic spending is our raison debt…

You rarely see a movie about a murderer with a heart of gold…

Vegetarians are always in their salad days…

The password you entered is incorrect. The next one will be too. And yes, I know you wrote it down…

Worst case scenario: a mouth full of food and an imminent sneeze…

NASA has done NOTHING to innovate the beverage market since Tang…

Don’t thank me for unsubscribing. I didn’t subscribe to begin with…

Analyzing jokes is the next to last refuge of a scoundrel…

Wait. Everyone’s going to die on a HILL?

A pay toilet is a clean toilet…

A less insulting name for Trump supporters is Trumpeters…

How come when you spray for bugs, the next morning the bugs look like they stepped on land mines?

When I text on my phone, it looks like Esperanto…

People sometimes say, “These shoes are killing me,” but it would be more interesting if they said, “These shoes are killing YOU.”

You may not be comfortable in your own skin, but without it, you’ll get itchy…

Who are all these people with massive collections of rats’ behinds, yet are so reluctant to part with one?

Well, it’s snap presidential election week here, so I need to get out my Big Chief tablet and start writing a bit about that. I promise there are some amusing oddities. Thank you for reading.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman: I was never AT the drawing board…

    Your schooling was deficient.

    Andrew Troutman: Vegetarians are always in their salad days…

    I hated it back when I was a vegetarian. Everyone would assume salads were all that I ate. “Oh, well, we have a salad . . . “

    Andrew Troutman: People sometimes say, “These shoes are killing me,” but it would be more interesting if they said, “These shoes are killing YOU.”

    If they do say that, it might be time to run.

    • #1
  2. Susan Quinn Member
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I love the worse case scenario–been there, done that!!

    • #2
  3. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: I was never AT the drawing board…

    Your schooling was deficient.

    Andrew Troutman: Vegetarians are always in their salad days…

    I hated it back when I was a vegetarian. Everyone would assume salads were all that I ate. “Oh, well, we have a salad . . . “

    Andrew Troutman: People sometimes say, “These shoes are killing me,” but it would be more interesting if they said, “These shoes are killing YOU.”

    If they do say that, it might be time to run.

    Let me respond:

    1. Isn’t that evident from my writing?

    2. Tell me about it.

    3. It sounds like something Stephen King might not write about.

    • #3
  4. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    I love the worse case scenario–been there, done that!!

    That’s when you find out what you’re REALLY made of.

    • #4
  5. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Andrew Troutman: Wait. Everyone’s going to die on a HILL?

    Nah. Sometimes they die on a slight rise in a valley. A valley surrounded by higher hills. 

    The Democratic Party is busy reenacting the defense of Dien Bien Phu – as the French.

    • #5
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Andrew Troutman: You rarely see a movie about a murderer with a heart of gold…

    Dexter?

    • #6
  7. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    I sure hope this idea catches on: “A less insulting name for Trump supporters is Trumpeters…”

    • #7
  8. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Andrew Troutman: People sometimes say, “These shoes are killing me,” but it would be more interesting if they said, “These shoes are killing YOU.”

     

    • #8
  9. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill (View Comment):

    I sure hope this idea catches on: “A less insulting name for Trump supporters is Trumpeters…”

    Just go with MAGA and be done with it.   Offends no one,  and it is clear who you are talking about.   Trumpeters would work,  but someone like me might think you are talking Maynard Ferguson , Miles Davis, or Dizzy Gillespie

    • #9
  10. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill (View Comment):

    I sure hope this idea catches on: “A less insulting name for Trump supporters is Trumpeters…”

    Just go with MAGA and be done with it. Offends no one, and it is clear who you are talking about. Trumpeters would work, but someone like me might think you are talking Maynard Ferguson , Miles Davis, or Dizzy Gillespie

    Winton Marsalis and Drew Carey?!

    • #10
  11. Eb Snider Member
    Eb Snider
    @EbSnider

    Well, Glen Greenwald has started Pride month off with something of note. It might boost his subscribers. He is indeed brave in “going to publish” materials others won’t.

    • #11
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