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Make Airports Great Again
Most of you have probably heard that a bill has been introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives that would rename Dulles International Airport. Five Republican representatives reckon that the airport really ought to go by the name “Donald J. Trump International Airport.” Perhaps less well-known is that in my home state of Tennessee, Republican state legislators want to rename Nashville International Airport to “Trump International Airport.”
I’m sure these aren’t the only airports that assorted Republicans in various states would like to rename for the greatest American president of all time. But I think we can all see the problem if all these dreams come true, right?
Jackson-Evers International Airport. Photo from goodfreephotos.com.
“Honey, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I booked our airline tickets. I know you like to save money, so I got non-refundable tickets. Unfortunately, with so many Trump International Airports, I got confused and made a mistake. I know we wanted to go to Tampa, Florida for vacation, but how do you feel about Oklahoma City?”
Clearly, this is not going to work. I propose that all airports be renamed for the current president (and if God is just – future emperor), but we really need to keep the names distinct from one another. Let us keep the first part of all the airport names so you can still tell them apart, but change the word “Airport” in each name to “Trumport.”
Published in Travel
If the Soviets could rename cities and streets after Comrade Lenin, we can rename our Trumports after Donald Trump. We can also go further and name all bodies of water in North America after Trump, including all of those in the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes. That doesn’t mean they’d all have the same name. Some would be Trump Lake, while others would be Lake Trump. There would also be Trump River, River Trump, Trump Creek, etc. Don’t throw the historical names out altogether. City and town should have at least one Trump Street. Also, consider the controversies over institutions named after Confederate Generals and other slaveholders. End the controversy by naming them after Trump. Here in southwest and south central Michigan, Calhoun County could change its name to Trump County. Same with Cass County, Jackson County, Branch County, and Berrien County, all named after slaveowning members of the Jackson administration. St. Joseph County and Kalamazoo County could keep their current names. No sense overdoing it.
Renaming things like airports isn’t a good idea. You can look up the 3-letter code and use it but then you learn that Atlanta, ATL, is (was?) listed under the letter T because, well….the name started with “The.” maybe they have dropped the “The” so now you have to look under the letter H. Other airports have three-letter identifiers under their old Army name, McCoy Field (MCO) rather than under O for Orlando. But then that renaming is actually helpful. I’m getting a headache.
I’m rather surprised that we have not renamed Lake Ontario. Why should one of our Great Lakes (people always tell me, “These are the greatest lakes, Sir.”) be named for a Canadian province? Can you believe it? Canadian? The country (for now) that sells us all that lumber, putting hard-working American trees on the unemployment line, and we let them have a Great Lake named for them?
Originally, it was Atlanta Municipal Airport. The mayor at the time, who did a lot to build and promote the airport, was William B. Hartsfield, so it became Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport in his honor. The airport was expanded under Mayor Maynard H. Jackson Jr, so now it’s Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, and they’ll need to expand the airport’s signage in addition to its runways and terminals if they expand anything again.
“I decided that if and when I became a dictator, I would darned well do some painting and clean the windows before naming the capital Goodwingrad.” –Archie Goodwin, in The Black Mountain, a Nero Wolfe Mystery by Rex Stout
Can we appreciate and love some things he’s done without starting to carve little Trump idols?
I remember how silly it was when school kids sang anthems to Obama and they put his name on a bunch of stuff.
At least in Oklahoma City, we had the good sense to name the airport after a comedian cowboy who died in a plane crash.
You don’t need to carve your own. You can buy them on Amazon.
Yegads!
Link, please . Actually, don’t. I want to maintain my belief you are joking.
Speaking of wrong flights, I remember a story about a couple of people from England flying to Sydney, but they went to the wrong Sydney…
I heard of a guy in California who was going to Oakland and went to Aukland, New Zealand
I think Ukraine, Old School Republicans, and Democrats should work together to rename Ukraine. “The Great Donald J. Trump Democratic Republic “ or “ The Democratic Republic of Donald J. Trump”. Could change the dynamics of the war.
Wonder if he had a better time….
Sounds like a real upgrade.
The Las Vegas airport should be called “Las Vegas International” not “Harry Reid International!” Does this face say “Come and have fun” to you?
No politician, of any stripe, should be adorning our airports. Name of the city and that’s it.
Come on, this would be a bit extreme. I think Mount Rushmore should be enough.
Most of us? I’d say the chances of that are about the same as those of this bill even making it to the floor for a vote, let alone actually passing: none.
To wit:
“
About Bills in Congress
I hope they are kidding…………..!
The domino effect of renaming Dulles International Airport would be huuuuge. There is a Dulles Toll Road. Would our greatest 47th president ever want his name associated with a toll road that serves as a piggy bank for Virginia pols?
The airport itself is actually in Sterling VA, but, in the mid-80’s, some genius decided to create mass confusion by carving out an unincorporated piece of territory and just calling it Dulles VA as an “alternative address” with a zip code. The Post Office deemed this change “acceptable,” although the name Sterling remained “recommended.” Nobody knows what this is about—many uninitiated call the area Dooles—and imagine what would happen if the area had to be renamed Trump!
USNS Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.
(I’m kidding.)
I think the ultimate in recognition is to be in a catmeme.
I remember that. They dropped him off at Tahiti, and he had to make his way back. I don’t remember how he did it. Or why.
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1985-04-02-mn-19265-story.html
Does the link I provided not work for you?
I advertently left out Barry County just 3 miles to the north of me, until today named after another slave owning member of the Jackson administration, and Eaton County, until now named after the guy whose wife was snubbed by all the other cabinet officers’ wives. I’d like to include Ingham County on the list, too. It’s where Gretchen Whittmer has an office, but I can’t find any evidence that Samuel D. Ingham was a slave owner.
I’ve done that flight- unless he was given a lot of free booze, no. He would have to turn around and fly back. 14 hours is a killer. Two times 14 hours…. Even booze wouldn’t help. Both cities are pronounced the same. I don’t know how many screwups happened. I saw it in the news.
I didn’t know that.
Both are pronounced the same.
There are other stories of people naming streets and towns around here in order to stroke the egos of influential politicians. I was going to say you’d never know when that could help get you an appointment as government commissioner for this or that, but in truth, sometimes you did know.
The disadvantage of naming something after a living politician is that they may reverse themselves and have a very different legacy at the end of their life than their admirers expected. How many high-profile Republicans were held in high regard eight years ago and today are denounced as backstabbers, RINOs, and swamp creatures?