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The Book Rakes Boffo Bux
That’s how they’d say it in the pages of the old Variety. In today’s language, we’d just say this, from Deadline Hollywood:
It was a big night for History [Channel], whose 10-hour miniseries The Bible opened with 13.1 million viewers…
That’s a lot of eyeballs for a book that’s pretty old. It even took the History Channel by surprise, according to their press release:
Says Nancy Dubuc, President, Entertainment and Media, A+E Networks, “The success of THE BIBLE has catapulted HISTORY into one of the most powerful brands across media landscape and we could not be more thrilled and more proud. We are the #1 cable entertainment telecast of the year to date! Leading into the premiere we had the best day ever on History.com, and THE BIBLE trended #1 on Twitter. Clearly there is a nationwide groundswell that was waiting for this moment.”
Apparently, at least thirteen million Americans are “into” the Bible. So into it that they even Tweeted about it. Who could have predicted this kind of “groundswell?”
Published in General
Why won’t those annoying Christianists just go away…
Now, honey, where did you put the Sunday New York Times?
</sarcasm>
Interesting. The History Channel features history — Vikings did quite well too — and they get viewers. Hmm..
Maybe they could fund more inspired mini-series and fewer episodes of “American Pickers.” I’m still trying to figure out how “American Pickers” fits into a channel about History.
Maybe they could fund more inspired mini-series and fewer episodes of “American Pickers.” I’m still trying to figure out how “American Pickers” fits into a channel about History. ·8 minutes ago
While we’re at it, anything we could do to diminish their obsession with hour-long conspiracy theory specials would also be a welcome change.
Er, The Greatest Story Ever Sold.. The Bible was a real book buster.. still is.. The King James Bible and its phrases and Expressions that are still with us today. Let that be the root of the matter.. and don’t get me started on Lot!
13 million viewers for a cable mini series.
Over $400 million dollars for The Passion of the Christ.
And yet… Hollywood… the studio movers and shakers, big actors and directors… avoid the Bible like the plague.
No modern day Ten Commandments. No modern day Ben Hur. No modern day Greatest Story Ever Told. Passion was made more or less as an independent film.
Because… once again… “Hollywood” hates us. It ain’t all about money. If it was just about money, stuff like Lions for Lambs wouldn’t be made, and Ben Hur would.
6.2 million for their viking show. If they won’t give us any good Biblical epics, can we at least have more viking movies?
I’m glad that Les Miserables got filmed given it’s content. Hollywood’s main crime isn’t that it’s liberal but that it’s narrow-mindedness makes it boring and repetitive.
Rob, If you are jealous of those ratings numbers you can always produce a squishy version of the Bible”.
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
You shall have no other gods before me. And if you really have to, just don’t let it be one of those six-armed elephant things, because that kind of stuff freaks people out.”
Or:
Creeds Lead: Scrips Hip!
The wife and I tried to watch “The Bible” mini-series last night and turned it off half-way through the first episode, right after Lot and his family were saved from the Sodomites by a chinese ninja, which I missed the first couple of times I read the Old Testament.
We were hoping it would be better but it was truly AWFUL! I doubt they’ll get those numbers in the next installment.
I watched it and thought it was as good as any of the costume/toga movies we grew up with. Considering how far down into the gutter that History Channel had gone, it certainly burnished their brand.
The actors may have all had Brit accents, but everyone on that side of the Atlantic does anyway, don’t they ?
The numbers are great and that’s all that matters. That and the fact the good stuff is mostly happening on cable. They need to post all episodes right away like House of Cards and see how that metric works .
What are the results on House of Cards anyway ? Time to leave the MSM, cut the cable , and make our own itinerary.
Because… once again… “Hollywood” hates us. It ain’t all about money. If it was just about money, stuff like Lions for Lambs wouldn’t be made, and Ben Hur would. ·1 hour ago
Blue Yeti
Coming March, 2014: Noah, starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, and Anthony Hopkins.
Ahh Noah.. a climate change flick.. ‘Arking back as it were.. Maybe they should do a remake of When The Rains Came.. That has some socialist themes if I do recall..
Large swaths of Hollywood have personal experience with marriage and kids but choose to ignore the subject matter for the most part other than as a tragedy (it seems only TV shows care about this subject matter).
So when they only make a half way decent movie or two ever year about marriage and kids I doubt they are going to make watchable movies for people they despise and have no personal experience with.
Don’t get me wrong you get a pleasant surprise everyone once in while like “Bruce Almighty” (which they deleted the scenes with the best morals and theology out of the movie, so watch the deleted scenes), and “One Night With a King” was not bad although not totally accurate.
The crazy part is so much of the old Testament is not G or PG material. They could make very violent rated R action films and be 100% accurate to the bible. Just a movie on David’s early life, I think if done well, would do good at the box office and could be a great action flick.
Coming March, 2014: Noah, starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, and Anthony Hopkins. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem For A Dream) , written by John Logan (Skyfall, The Aviator, Gladiator) . Estimated budget $130 million.
Because… once again… “Hollywood” hates us. It ain’t all about money. If it was just about money, stuff like Lions for Lambs wouldn’t be made, and Ben Hur would. ·1 hour ago
Except that this Noah isn’t a Biblical tale. It’s been “re-imagined” as an environmental apocalypse. Hollywood took a Biblical story of morality… God flooded the Earth because men forget Him and became wicked… and turned it into The Day After Tomorrow. That’s worse than ignoring the Bible altogether.
How true the story is to the Old Testament, I don’t know, but I highly doubt that the movie is based in environmentalism. No one in Hollywood is going to spend $130 million on a green movie about Noah’s Ark.
Coming March, 2014: Noah, starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, and Anthony Hopkins. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem For A Dream) , written by John Logan (Skyfall, The Aviator, Gladiator) . Estimated budget $130 million.
Because… once again… “Hollywood” hates us. It ain’t all about money. If it was just about money, stuff like Lions for Lambs wouldn’t be made, and Ben Hur would. ·1 hour ago
Edited 9 minutes ago
Except that this Noah isn’t a Biblical tale. It’s been “re-imagined” as an environmental apocalypse. Hollywood took a Biblical story of morality… God flooded the Earth because men forget Him and became wicked… and turned it into The Day After Tomorrow. That’s worse than ignoring the Bible altogether. ·3 minutes ago
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
You shall have no other gods before me. And if you really have to, just don’t let it be one of those six-armed elephant things, because that kind of stuff freaks people out.” ·1 hour ago
I could sell that.
The actors may have all had Brit accents, but everyone on that side of the Atlantic does anyway, don’t they ?
The numbers are great and that’s all that matters. That and the fact the good stuff is mostly happening on cable. They need to post all episodes right away like House of Cards and see how that metric works .
What are the results on House of Cards anyway ? Time to leave the MSM, cut the cable , and make our own itinerary. ·48 minutes ago
It’s hard to know the numbers on HOC. My guess is, just okay. But the point, really, for Netflix is to get people to do just what you’ve suggested: leave the MSM and make your own way. The big studios and media conglomerates are nervous. Which is fine with me. More competition for my work is a lot better than less.
Coming March, 2014: Noah, starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, and Anthony Hopkins. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan, The Wrestler, Requiem For A Dream) , written by John Logan (Skyfall, The Aviator, Gladiator) . Estimated budget $130 million.
Because… once again… “Hollywood” hates us. It ain’t all about money. If it was just about money, stuff like Lions for Lambs wouldn’t be made, and Ben Hur would. ·1 hour ago
Edited 9 minutes ago
Except that this Noah isn’t a Biblical tale. It’s been “re-imagined” as an environmental apocalypse. Hollywood took a Biblical story of morality… God flooded the Earth because men forget Him and became wicked… and turned it into The Day After Tomorrow. That’s worse than ignoring the Bible altogether. ·3 minutes ago
I beg to differ, Yeti. I’ll bet that’s exactly where it goes.
I could sell that. ·0 minutes ago
Yeah.. It’s enough it’s make you Ganesha your teeth at night in your sleep.
What’s wrong with “American Pickers”? Sure, they’ll rarely find anything of true historical value, but they’re not illiterates and often find interesting pieces. Guess I think of them fellow archive divers.
Except that this Noah isn’t a Biblical tale. It’s been “re-imagined” as an environmental apocalypse. Hollywood took a Biblical story of morality… God flooded the Earth because men forget Him and became wicked… and turned it into The Day After Tomorrow. That’s worse than ignoring the Bible altogether.
What with Evan Almighty being such a rousing success and all. Yeah, I know, Steve Carell to Russell Crowe, apples to oranges. If it’s obnoxious enough, though – as Evan Almighty was – we win that little cultural battle by default. How is Aronofsky planning on indulging his penchant for excessively gratuitous. . .uh, debauchery, may I ask?
The Day After Tomorrow: Production Budget: $125 million. *Domestic Gross: $186,740,799. Translation: they lost money. A lot of money.
The Passion of The Christ: Production Budget: $30 million. *Domestic Lifetime Gross: $370,782,930. Translation: Authentic Testament pics make boffo box office.
Conclusion: If you’re going to make a Biblical movie, thou shalt stick to the source material and thou shalt not stray into preachy politics, no matter how irresistible the urge may be. It’s a shekel loser.
Yes, I could be wrong, but the lesson is crystal clear. I think I have a pretty good idea of how these people think.
*I’m leaving worldwide grosses out of this because the studios almost always pre-sell those rights off to defend against a bomb. Although in the case of Passion, the movie was self-funded and owned in all territories by Mel Gibson. He ended up making a huge fortune on it.
I beg to differ, Yeti. I’ll bet that’s exactly where it goes. ·14 minutes ago
Conclusion: If you’re going to make a Biblical movie, thou shalt stick to the source material and thou shalt not stray into preachy politics, no matter how irresistible the urge may be. It’s a shekel loser.
Too true, Yeti. When you’ve got the Greatest Story ever told why mess with the story line. After all, as Sam Fuller said about making flicks the number one rule is Story Story Story..
We were hoping it would be better but it was truly AWFUL! I doubt they’ll get those numbers in the next installment. ·2 hours ago
Hooray. I’m glad it wasn’t just me. That whole “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bible” segment really made me laugh. Then there was the “Lord of the Rings” bit, where the waters parted (and isn’t the dialog “They are coming. They are coming,” right out of LOTR?). And the “Raiders of the Lost Ark” part where the evil vapors invade the Pharaoh’s bedroom. I have to say, I watched, and thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. And although I don’t think I saw every single ad, it was at least a pleasure not to be continually bombarded with sexual enhancement drug information. I’ll probably watch, or record, the rest of the series, just for the entertainment value.
The Passion of The Christ: Production Budget: $30 million. *Domestic Lifetime Gross: $370,782,930. Translation: Authentic Testament pics make boffo box office.
Conclusion: If you’re going to make a Biblical movie, thou shalt stick to the source material and thou shalt not stray into preachy politics, no matter how irresistible the urge may be. It’s a shekel loser.
Yes, I could be wrong, but the lesson is crystal clear. I think I have a pretty good idea of how these people think.
You’re betting on Hollywood being logical when it comes to this stuff. Their recent history has proved otherwise. Again, it’s ain’t all about the money with these people. It took… what, 7 or 8 anti-war flops before Hollywood stopped making dreck like In the Valley of Elah and Redacted? One Avatar will pay for half a dozen flops. They don’t care. Hollywood’s leadership will be damned (pun intended) before they make a Passion.
Over $400 million dollars for The Passion of the Christ.
And yet… Hollywood… the studio movers and shakers, big actors and directors… avoid the Bible like the plague.
No modern day Ten Commandments. No modern day Ben Hur. No modern day Greatest Story Ever Told. Passion was made more or less as an independent film.
Because… once again… “Hollywood” hates us. It ain’t all about money. If it was just about money, stuff like Lions for Lambs wouldn’t be made, and Ben Hur would. ·21 hours ago
I’ve actually heard a remake of Ben-Hur is in the works or being kicked around, but — get this– with the Christ narrative edited out. You can’t make this stuff up.
Yeah.. I hear it’s going to be called Ben-Her for the campus diversity market.
Well I’m not missing a first-run Castle or NCIS for yet another remake adaptation of the world’s oldest public domain literary property.
Hell there isn’t an agent in town who hasn’t read … the coverage.
Only possible interest is whether the flood scene can top 2004’s The Day After Tomorrow.
Or which of Noah’s animal friends will have a degree as a Paleoclimatologist and be voiced by Al Gore, so he can win another Emmy.