Another Lowbrow Tribute to the King…Larry.

 

Until the beginning of autumn, the only things falling from the sky here in Gyeonggi Province were North Korean trash balloons. And sure, stuffing balloons with poo might be funny in Pyongyang, but they’re going to wonder what happened to all the fertilizer when it comes time to plant next year.

Coincidentally, many streets in South Korea are lined with ginkgo trees, which turn a beautiful bright yellow in the fall. Unfortunately, they also drop fruit onto the sidewalk, and that fruit smells EXACTLY like…dog poo.

Amidst all the falling leaves, trash balloons and ginkgo fruit, my brain set to thinking about some things:

If today is a crisp fall day, might tomorrow be crunchy and might the weekend have an entirely different mouthfeel?

I’ll bet one-hit-wonder bands can get a lot of encores if they just hold off on playing that one song.

Supplies of EVERYTHING are limited, when you think about it.

Am I the ONLY one with simple business to conduct at the bank? Ditto for the post office.

In basketball, it’s possible to let your guard down in two different ways.

I think Neil Young has to change “Old Man” in concert. It has to be either “Young Man” or “Really Old Man.”

Is havoc the only thing that ever gets wreaked?

When I was in high school, I worked for a cleaning company, and we cleaned a bank and the offices of an oil refinery. Can you guess which trash cans had more tobacco spit?

My high school buddies and I played in an indoor soccer league. Our team name was Gerald Ford’s Imaginary Friends.

Do bored sailors do a lot of naval gazing?

Barry Manilow sang “I Write the Songs,” but he didn’t even write that song, so I don’t trust a word he says.

The kazoo is the poor man’s saxophone.

I was excited to see my friend Eric’s new exotic pet, but what I thought was a meerkat was a mere cat.

I hear a lot of negative references to “Dad Jokes.” As far as I can tell, a dad joke is just a funny joke that isn’t dirty, and has no cussin’.

Let’s face it, if you’re pre-ordering, you’re just ordering. The “pre” is a virtue signal.

For that extra edge, some people micro-dose LSD. I micro-dose plastics.

Why don’t more people wear orange shirts? Not many orange cars either.

Winnie the Pooh. Is Pooh a title? How did he get to be a Pooh? Through valor?

I wonder if food is ever served “insults of the chef.”

Thank y’all if you made it this far. Your patience may wear thin, but it looks good on you.

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  1. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    Kind of like neat word memes.  Clever you. 

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman:

    Supplies of EVERYTHING are limited, when you think about it.

    So, never had an economics class? That is the whole point of economics. Everything is limited. In some cases, even demand for an item is limited.

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman: In basketball, it’s possible to let your guard down in two different ways.

    I like this one.

    • #3
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman: Is havoc the only thing that ever gets wreaked?

    Not at all. Mayhem can be wreaked. It’s original common meaning was “to avenge.” It’s a very old word from Old English or Anglo-Saxon. It later transferred (in about 1817, mind you) to meaning “inflict or cause” with negative things such as destruction or damage. But mayhem is fun.

    • #4
  5. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman: I hear a lot of negative references to “Dad Jokes.” As far as I can tell, a dad joke is just a funny joke that isn’t dirty, and has no cussin’. 

    • #5
  6. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman: Why don’t more people wear orange shirts?

    I have one. Or maybe more if one includes plaids that have orange. This shirt has a very thin orange stripe in the plaid.

    But, for an older man with a grey or white beard, the color to avoid is green and even some shades of blue. The beard can pick up the color, and then it looks like you have a beard of moss.

    • #6
  7. John H. Member
    John H.
    @JohnH

    Andrew Troutman:

    Am I the ONLY one with simple business to conduct at the bank? Ditto for the post office.

    Ditto for Brazilian lines, at least those to buy bus tickets and subway passes. The lines are long and slow; when it is at last my turn, my business goes briskly; what was everyone in front of me doing? This puts me in mind of something I saw in a Chilean bus station: a big signboard showing destinations, not according to a geographical breakdown, or even in alphabetical order, but in fare order. Maybe, before that was put up, everyone who appeared at the ticket window stated how much money he had and asked how far that would get him. The clerk would answer; the answer wasn’t where the customer wanted to go; rather than name the intended destination, the customer named a reduced figure; around and around. On the other hand, although Bingo is known and I think called that worldwide, I never did hear anyone on either side of the window exclaim it.

    I looked up this trash balloon business, and I marvel at North Korea troubling either to make hydrogen or to distill helium. I did not know that South Korea has, or Wikipedia thinks it has, a unification ministry. Does North Korea have one too? Or does it have a conquest ministry?

    • #7
  8. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Andrew Troutman: Winnie the Pooh. Is Pooh a title? How did he get to be a Pooh? Through valor?

    That is a rather interesting story. The Pooh part was after someone else’s pet swan.

    • #8
  9. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Why don’t more people wear orange shirts?

    I have one. Or maybe more if one includes plaids that have orange. This shirt has a very thin orange stripe in the plaid.

    But, for an older man with a grey or white beard, the color to avoid is green and even some shades of blue. The beard can pick up the color, and then it looks like you have a beard of moss.

    I vote for orange whenever my husband goes outside to work in the forest behind our house – sometimes with a chainsaw. I figure he’s going to hurt himself sooner or later and will need to be able to see him when he does. 

    • #9
  10. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    If whoever lets the dogs out could remember to cry ‘havoc’ first, that would be nice.

    • #10
  11. Drew didn't ban himself Member
    Drew didn't ban himself
    @OldDanRhody

    Andrew Troutman: Why don’t more people wear orange shirts? Not many orange cars either.

    I don’t particularly like orange, especially when combined with black.  On the other hand,

    For Sale: An Original Dukes of Hazzard Movie Stunt Car

    • #11
  12. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Andrew Troutman: Why don’t more people wear orange shirts?

    You see a lot of them among sports fans in Tennessee.

    • #12
  13. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Andrew Troutman: Not many orange cars either.

    I used to wonder that, too, but it has been becoming less true the last few years.   

     

    • #13
  14. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    EODmom (View Comment):
    I vote for orange whenever my husband goes outside to work in the forest behind our house – sometimes with a chainsaw. I figure he’s going to hurt himself sooner or later and will need to be able to see him when he does. 

    I have an orangish t-shirt for bicycling, but seldom wear it. I do have an orange reflective vest.  I’ve had a few yellow reflective vests, too, but in order not to be confused with the gilets jaunes in France I bought an orange one last year, also because my yellow one was getting too grungy. This year I used only the orange one.  It’s starting to get grungy, too.  

    • #14
  15. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    EODmom (View Comment):
    I vote for orange whenever my husband goes outside to work in the forest behind our house – sometimes with a chainsaw. I figure he’s going to hurt himself sooner or later and will need to be able to see him when he does.

    I have an orangish t-shirt for bicycling, but seldom wear it. I do have an orange reflective vest. I’ve had a few yellow reflective vests, too, but in order not to be confused with the gilets jaunes in France I bought an orange one last year, also because my yellow one was getting too grungy. This year I used only the orange one. It’s starting to get grungy, too.

    Also, France is a great country for bicycling and a lot of people of all ages are out on the cycle paths and roads.  However, I don’t recall seeing a single orange or yellow vest on another bicycler. Not that I spent a lot of time checking. I kept wearing mine and nobody seemed too traumatized by it.  The people have seen tourists before.  

    • #15
  16. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman:

    Supplies of EVERYTHING are limited, when you think about it.

    So, never had an economics class? That is the whole point of economics. Everything is limited. In some cases, even demand for an item is limited.

    I think you may be giving these more thought than they deserve, sir.

    • #16
  17. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Why don’t more people wear orange shirts?

    You see a lot of them among sports fans in Tennessee.

    You need to thank my Sooners for sending you Josh Heupel…perhaps on a more joyful Saturday.

    • #17
  18. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Not many orange cars either.

    I used to wonder that, too, but it has been becoming less true the last few years.

     

    In Korea, you hardly see a car that isn’t white or black…though it’s changing.

    Same for clothes here.

    • #18
  19. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    John H. (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman:

    Am I the ONLY one with simple business to conduct at the bank? Ditto for the post office.

    Ditto for Brazilian lines, at least those to buy bus tickets and subway passes. The lines are long and slow; when it is at last my turn, my business goes briskly; what was everyone in front of me doing? This puts me in mind of something I saw in a Chilean bus station: a big signboard showing destinations, not according to a geographical breakdown, or even in alphabetical order, but in fare order. Maybe, before that was put up, everyone who appeared at the ticket window stated how much money he had and asked how far that would get him. The clerk would answer; the answer wasn’t where the customer wanted to go; rather than name the intended destination, the customer named a reduced figure; around and around. On the other hand, although Bingo is known and I think called that worldwide, I never did hear anyone on either side of the window exclaim it.

    I looked up this trash balloon business, and I marvel at North Korea troubling either to make hydrogen or to distill helium. I did not know that South Korea has, or Wikipedia thinks it has, a unification ministry. Does North Korea have one too? Or does it have a conquest ministry?

    They don’t even have the Unification Church. They’ve got balloons, but not the crazy doctrine of the Reverend Moon. So it goes…

    • #19
  20. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Andrew Troutman (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Not many orange cars either.

    I used to wonder that, too, but it has been becoming less true the last few years.

     

    In Korea, you hardly see a car that isn’t white or black…though it’s changing.

    Same for clothes here.

    We are certainly in a period of colorlessness in the automotive industry.  There seem to be fewer colors to choose from than there used to be decades ago, if one is ordering a car.  For a lot of models, it looks like you have white, black, various shades of grey or silver, and maybe one red and one blue.  Ugh, and interiors!  If you want anything other than a black interior, you will have to special order.

    • #20
  21. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Why don’t more people wear orange shirts?

    I have one. Or maybe more if one includes plaids that have orange. This shirt has a very thin orange stripe in the plaid.

    But, for an older man with a grey or white beard, the color to avoid is green and even some shades of blue. The beard can pick up the color, and then it looks like you have a beard of moss.

    I did not realize that. I’m going to have to try it out now.

    • #21
  22. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Not many orange cars either.

    I used to wonder that, too, but it has been becoming less true the last few years.

     

    I seem to remember orange cars in the 70s.

    • #22
  23. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Percival (View Comment):

    If whoever lets the dogs out could remember to cry ‘havoc’ first, that would be nice.

    I’ve been saving these “Larry King” bits and I’m including this too.

    • #23
  24. Andrew Troutman Coolidge
    Andrew Troutman
    @Dotorimuk

    kedavis (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Not many orange cars either.

    I used to wonder that, too, but it has been becoming less true the last few years.

     

    I seem to remember orange cars in the 70s.

    Me too.

    • #24
  25. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Andrew Troutman (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Not many orange cars either.

    I used to wonder that, too, but it has been becoming less true the last few years.

     

    I seem to remember orange cars in the 70s.

    Me too.

    They seem to be making a noticeable comeback around here, though I don’t expect them ever to predominate.  Different states seem to have different preferences in car colors.  I haven’t kept up, but several years ago white pickups seemed to predominate in Texas.  Always white.  And gray cars predominated in California.  Different shades of gray, of course.  I once found a web site that tracked car color fashions by state; haven’t tried to find it just now.   

    • #25
  26. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    • #26
  27. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Andrew Troutman: Do bored sailors do a lot of naval gazing?

    This is such a dumb joke, I can’t explain why it made me laugh even upon the second reading of it.

    • #27
  28. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    “To splinters and rags” has an Age of Sail connotation to it.

    • #28
  29. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):

    Andrew Troutman: Do bored sailors do a lot of naval gazing?

    This is such a dumb joke, I can’t explain why it made me laugh even upon the second reading of it.

    I’ve been around direct boring machines.  They’re good for putting fiber optic cable underground, but I don’t think they should be used on sailors.  They are interesting, especially if you’re the type who likes to play in the dirt.   

    • #29
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