Ugliness you can hear

 

I used to enjoy Facebook.  In fact, I thought it was performing a valuable public service, helping families and friends stay in touch with one another, sharing pictures of kids and pets, and bringing us all closer together.  When I realized that Facebook was collecting information on all of us to sell to the highest bidder, I became less of a fan and spent a lot less time on the site.  But I have changed my mind again.  I found a page that has renewed my faith in Facebook, and even, dare I say, in humanity itself.

I speak, of course, of the Facebook page dedicated to Bad Album Art.  It’s simply wonderful.

As I scroll through this page, and lose myself in the sheer beauty of the ugliness of it all, I find myself strangely drawn to the music on these remarkable albums.  I haven’t actually had the courage to listen yet, but after a couple more bourbons, perhaps I will.  Maybe today is the day.  After all, today is YOUR lucky day, because I’m going to share my joyous discovery with you.  Take these, for example:

At this point, I was thinking that those rural, devout Christians are not the snappiest dressers.  And, I myself am a rural, devout Christian, and my wife and daughters do make the occasional comment about my lack of fashion sense.  So perhaps I should look at more rock and roll-type of albums, rather than gospel.  Those will obviously show more fashion sense:

Ok, so maybe rock and roll fashion is even more absurd than gospel.  Who’da thunk it?  Well, those who sing love songs will be better dressed.  After all, they’re trying to attract the opposite sex, right?  Worth a try:

Hmmm…

Well, maybe this is just an example of modern fashion being a mess.  Let’s go back to the classics, back when people really knew how to dress:

Ok, so maybe it’s not the era or the style of music.  Perhaps it’s just that musicians can hear beauty, but cannot see it.  Hard to say, I suppose.

I know that many of you are struggling after the hurricane, so I mercifully showed only three examples of just a few genres.  I hesitate to add to your suffering, but there is much more.  I don’t know how to link to a Facebook page, but you can look it up, and find many equally wonderfully horrifying examples for yourself.  Share the exceptional ones below—if you don’t care about human suffering.

But just imagine someone from another country trying to assess our culture by looking at our music—or rather, the album covers.  Someone from China, or Congo, or California.  They would think that Americans are, um, a bit odd.  Or perhaps very odd.

And perhaps we are.  Perhaps that’s why I feel so drawn to this beautiful ugliness.  What could be more American?

Or perhaps I should stay off Facebook when I’m drinking.  Eh, whatever.

Ok, I’ve had enough bourbon to venture forth into the actual music.  It’s got to be on the internet somewhere.  Sometimes to find beauty, one must push past the ugliness.

Wish me luck.

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  1. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Painter Jean (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange. Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself! The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    Whose portrait is hanging on the wall?

    I think that’s Longstreet, though I’m not certain.

    You might be right(?!) I did an image search on the picture and didn’t find any exact matches, but the closest one was a photo of Confederate General James Longstreet.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Longstreet

    From skimming his biography he had a very interesting career. He was wounded in the Mexican-American War and later led troops in dozens of key battles in the U.S. Civil War, eventually getting wounded by friendly fire. During the war, he rushed home temporarily after word of his four children being deathly sick with scarlet fever. Three of them died in succession within a week’s time. After the War, he became a Republican, angering his former Confederate comrades, and even led a Black Militia against the Anti-Reconstruction White League at the battle of Liberty Place in 1874.

    He was appointed and briefly served as Deputy Collector of Internal Revenue by Rutherford B. Hayes, and was then appointed “United States Minister Resident to the Ottoman Empire” where he served in Constantinople.

    Makes you wonder why Byrd would apparently still admire him.

    • #91
  2. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Painter Jean (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange. Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself! The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    Whose portrait is hanging on the wall?

    I think that’s Longstreet, though I’m not certain.

    You might be right(?!) I did an image search on the picture and didn’t find any exact matches, but the closest one was a photo of Confederate General James Longstreet.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Longstreet

    From skimming his biography he had a very interesting career. He was wounded in the Mexican-American War and later led troops in dozens of key battles in the U.S. Civil War, eventually getting wounded by friendly fire. During the war, he rushed home temporarily after word of his four children being deathly sick with scarlet fever. Three of them died in succession within a week’s time. After the War, he became a Republican, angering his former Confederate comrades, and even led a Black Militia against the Anti-Reconstruction White League at the battle of Liberty Place in 1874.

    He was appointed and briefly served as Deputy Collector of Internal Revenue by Rutherford B. Hayes, and was then appointed “United States Minister Resident to the Ottoman Empire” where he served in Constantinople.

    Given Byrd’s proclivities, I’m surprised it’s not Nathan Bedford Forrest.

    I thought it looked like Longstreet, but then I looked a bit online at images of him, and like you I couldn’t find an exact image. It looks like Longstreet, but maybe it’s some Confederate ancestor of Byrd.

    • #92
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