Ugliness you can hear

 

I used to enjoy Facebook.  In fact, I thought it was performing a valuable public service, helping families and friends stay in touch with one another, sharing pictures of kids and pets, and bringing us all closer together.  When I realized that Facebook was collecting information on all of us to sell to the highest bidder, I became less of a fan and spent a lot less time on the site.  But I have changed my mind again.  I found a page that has renewed my faith in Facebook, and even, dare I say, in humanity itself.

I speak, of course, of the Facebook page dedicated to Bad Album Art.  It’s simply wonderful.

As I scroll through this page, and lose myself in the sheer beauty of the ugliness of it all, I find myself strangely drawn to the music on these remarkable albums.  I haven’t actually had the courage to listen yet, but after a couple more bourbons, perhaps I will.  Maybe today is the day.  After all, today is YOUR lucky day, because I’m going to share my joyous discovery with you.  Take these, for example:

At this point, I was thinking that those rural, devout Christians are not the snappiest dressers.  And, I myself am a rural, devout Christian, and my wife and daughters do make the occasional comment about my lack of fashion sense.  So perhaps I should look at more rock and roll-type of albums, rather than gospel.  Those will obviously show more fashion sense:

Ok, so maybe rock and roll fashion is even more absurd than gospel.  Who’da thunk it?  Well, those who sing love songs will be better dressed.  After all, they’re trying to attract the opposite sex, right?  Worth a try:

Hmmm…

Well, maybe this is just an example of modern fashion being a mess.  Let’s go back to the classics, back when people really knew how to dress:

Ok, so maybe it’s not the era or the style of music.  Perhaps it’s just that musicians can hear beauty, but cannot see it.  Hard to say, I suppose.

I know that many of you are struggling after the hurricane, so I mercifully showed only three examples of just a few genres.  I hesitate to add to your suffering, but there is much more.  I don’t know how to link to a Facebook page, but you can look it up, and find many equally wonderfully horrifying examples for yourself.  Share the exceptional ones below—if you don’t care about human suffering.

But just imagine someone from another country trying to assess our culture by looking at our music—or rather, the album covers.  Someone from China, or Congo, or California.  They would think that Americans are, um, a bit odd.  Or perhaps very odd.

And perhaps we are.  Perhaps that’s why I feel so drawn to this beautiful ugliness.  What could be more American?

Or perhaps I should stay off Facebook when I’m drinking.  Eh, whatever.

Ok, I’ve had enough bourbon to venture forth into the actual music.  It’s got to be on the internet somewhere.  Sometimes to find beauty, one must push past the ugliness.

Wish me luck.

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  1. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

     

     

     

     

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Doesn’t look all that different from David Bowie of the time.

    • #61
  2. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange.  Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself!  The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    • #62
  3. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange. Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself! The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    Whose portrait is hanging on the wall? 

    • #63
  4. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange. Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself! The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    Whose portrait is hanging on the wall?

    I don’t know, but I’m betting it wasn’t a Union soldier.

    • #64
  5. OldPhil Coolidge
    OldPhil
    @OldPhil

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

     

    Willy Wacker?? LOL

    Betty Dont.

    • #65
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Percival (View Comment):

    Juliana (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

     

    So is the fourth person of the quartet taking the picture?

    Are you implying that the innumerate can’t be musical?

    Someone musta photobombed the album cover shoot . . .

    • #66
  7. Jeff Petraska Member
    Jeff Petraska
    @JeffPetraska

    I can’t share this post to Facebook.  It’s just so AWFUL!!!

    :-D

     

    • #67
  8. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Jeff Petraska (View Comment):

    I can’t share this post to Facebook. It’s just so AWFUL!!!

    :-D

     

    Why not?  It might get more new members than any of Rob’s pitches!

    • #68
  9. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    Jeff Petraska (View Comment):

    I can’t share this post to Facebook. It’s just so AWFUL!!!

    :-D

     

    People rubberneck at train and car wrecks. The same instinct might make them look at this post. 

    • #69
  10. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    • #70
  11. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I mostly browse Ricochet on one browser and YouTube on another. Why make it easy for them?

    • #71
  12. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I mostly browse Ricochet on one browser and YouTube on another. Why make it easy for them?

    If they’re on the same computer/using the same IP it may not matter.

    • #72
  13. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I mostly browse Ricochet on one browser and YouTube on another. Why make it easy for them?

    If they’re on the same computer/using the same IP it may not matter.

    I’ll wager there is very little cross-referencing between browsers. What’s Google going to do? Ask nicely?

    • #73
  14. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Percival (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I mostly browse Ricochet on one browser and YouTube on another. Why make it easy for them?

    If they’re on the same computer/using the same IP it may not matter.

    I’ll wager there is very little cross-referencing between browsers. What’s Google going to do? Ask nicely?

    Google controls the “cookies” with your search history etc, even beyond “noticing” that it’s the same IP.

    • #74
  15. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    Percival (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I mostly browse Ricochet on one browser and YouTube on another. Why make it easy for them?

    If they’re on the same computer/using the same IP it may not matter.

    I’ll wager there is very little cross-referencing between browsers. What’s Google going to do? Ask nicely?

    I recently set up an account and was asked whether I had an alternate e-mail that I could specify as a “recovery method” in case I got locked out. I did not so I created an alternate e-mail that I don’t intend to use much, but now it seems that I am recognized everywhere. It is spooky how visible we are in the cybersphere. 

    • #75
  16. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Django (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I mostly browse Ricochet on one browser and YouTube on another. Why make it easy for them?

    If they’re on the same computer/using the same IP it may not matter.

    I’ll wager there is very little cross-referencing between browsers. What’s Google going to do? Ask nicely?

    I recently set up an account and was asked whether I had an alternate e-mail that I could specify as a “recovery method” in case I got locked out. I did not so I created an alternate e-mail that I don’t intend to use much, but now it seems that I am recognized everywhere. It is spooky how visible we are in the cybersphere.

    Brave has one email address, and uses the Brave search engine.

    Chrome has another email address, and uses the Bing search engine.

    I’ve got Edge set up for some other stuff.

    • #76
  17. Michael Minnott Member
    Michael Minnott
    @MichaelMinnott

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Yes, he is definitely a dude.  Plus he sings with a very rich, deep baritone.  He can also sing high (falsetto, for yodeling); think Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak, or even Slim Whitman.  Heino is a giant in the genre of schalger musik (kind of the German equivalent to  our genres of singer-songwriter/folk/country music).

    Have a listen…

     

    • #77
  18. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Yes, he is definitely a dude. Plus he sings with a very rich, deep baritone. He can also sing high (falsetto, for yodeling); think Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak, or even Slim Whitman. Heino is a giant in the genre of schalger musik (kind of the German equivalent to our genres of singer-songwriter/folk/country music).

    Have a listen…

     

    Oh, yeah, Heino is a serious musician. For that matter, Ace Cannon had over forty albums and a billet in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame, to boot.

    Flatt & Scruggs were serious musicians. None of their album covers made them look silly.

    Except for that one.

    • #78
  19. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Yes, he is definitely a dude. Plus he sings with a very rich, deep baritone. He can also sing high (falsetto, for yodeling); think Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak, or even Slim Whitman. Heino is a giant in the genre of schalger musik (kind of the German equivalent to our genres of singer-songwriter/folk/country music).

    Have a listen…

    Well, I’m hooked now!  This German Shlager music is a real hoot!  This guy must be the German Johnny Cash (except for the yodeling).

     

    • #79
  20. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Percival (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Yes, he is definitely a dude. Plus he sings with a very rich, deep baritone. He can also sing high (falsetto, for yodeling); think Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak, or even Slim Whitman. Heino is a giant in the genre of schalger musik (kind of the German equivalent to our genres of singer-songwriter/folk/country music).

    Have a listen…

     

    Oh, yeah, Heino is a serious musician. For that matter, Ace Cannon had over forty albums and a billet in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame, to boot.

    Flatt & Scruggs were serious musicians. None of their album covers made them look silly.

    Except for that one.

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here!  They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show.  Guess which one.

    • #80
  21. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    The ever-omnipresent Google is watching my Ricochet activity because this video just came up as a suggestion from YouTube:

    I am inspired to start an accordion correspondence course. I should crowdsource the album cover. 

    • #81
  22. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Yes, he is definitely a dude. Plus he sings with a very rich, deep baritone. He can also sing high (falsetto, for yodeling); think Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak, or even Slim Whitman. Heino is a giant in the genre of schalger musik (kind of the German equivalent to our genres of singer-songwriter/folk/country music).

    Have a listen…

     

    Oh, yeah, Heino is a serious musician. For that matter, Ace Cannon had over forty albums and a billet in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame, to boot.

    Flatt & Scruggs were serious musicians. None of their album covers made them look silly.

    Except for that one.

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    Hee Haw

    • #82
  23. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Michael Minnott (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    … and some just poorly thought out

    Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!

    That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.

    Yes, he is definitely a dude. Plus he sings with a very rich, deep baritone. He can also sing high (falsetto, for yodeling); think Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak, or even Slim Whitman. Heino is a giant in the genre of schalger musik (kind of the German equivalent to our genres of singer-songwriter/folk/country music).

    Have a listen…

     

    Oh, yeah, Heino is a serious musician. For that matter, Ace Cannon had over forty albums and a billet in the Rockabilly Hall of Fame, to boot.

    Flatt & Scruggs were serious musicians. None of their album covers made them look silly.

    Except for that one.

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    • #83
  24. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

     

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    Hee Haw

    Nope.  Try again…………..

    • #84
  25. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

     

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    Hee Haw

    Nope. Try again…………..

    The Grand Ol’ Opry?

    • #85
  26. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    Hee Haw

    Nope. Try again…………..

    The Grand Ol’ Opry?

    Sorry, no.  Here’s a clue – it was a sitcom, and Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs played themselves on the episodes in which they appeared.

    • #86
  27. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    Hee Haw

    Nope. Try again…………..

    The Grand Ol’ Opry?

    Sorry, no. Here’s a clue – it was a sitcom, and Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs played themselves on the episodes in which they appeared.

    Did they ride in General Lee?

    • #87
  28. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    Big Flatt & Scruggs fan here! They even made guest appearances on my favorite TV show. Guess which one.

    Hee Haw

    Nope. Try again…………..

    The Grand Ol’ Opry?

    Sorry, no. Here’s a clue – it was a sitcom, and Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs played themselves on the episodes in which they appeared.

    Did they ride in General Lee?

    What is General Lee?

    • #88
  29. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange. Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself! The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    Whose portrait is hanging on the wall?

    I think that’s Longstreet, though I’m not certain.

    • #89
  30. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    Painter Jean (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    Steven Seward (View Comment):

    This is not bad cover art per se, but just downright strange. Does anybody remember this guy?

    I actually own this record, signed in beautiful script by the former Exalted Cyclops of the KKK himself! The bluegrass music is surprisingly good.

    A picture from the backside:

    Whose portrait is hanging on the wall?

    I think that’s Longstreet, though I’m not certain.

    You might be right(?!)  I did an image search on the picture and didn’t find any exact matches, but the closest one was a photo of Confederate General James Longstreet.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Longstreet

    From skimming his biography he had a very interesting career.  He was wounded in the Mexican-American War and later led troops in dozens of key battles in the U.S. Civil War, eventually getting wounded by friendly fire.  During the war, he rushed home temporarily after word of his four children being deathly sick with scarlet fever.  Three of them died in succession within a week’s time.  After the War, he became a Republican, angering his former Confederate comrades, and even led a Black Militia against the Anti-Reconstruction White League at the battle of Liberty Place in 1874.

    He was appointed and briefly served as Deputy Collector of Internal Revenue by Rutherford B. Hayes, and was then appointed “United States Minister Resident to the Ottoman Empire” where he served in Constantinople.

    • #90
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