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Ugliness you can hear
I used to enjoy Facebook. In fact, I thought it was performing a valuable public service, helping families and friends stay in touch with one another, sharing pictures of kids and pets, and bringing us all closer together. When I realized that Facebook was collecting information on all of us to sell to the highest bidder, I became less of a fan and spent a lot less time on the site. But I have changed my mind again. I found a page that has renewed my faith in Facebook, and even, dare I say, in humanity itself.
I speak, of course, of the Facebook page dedicated to Bad Album Art. It’s simply wonderful.
As I scroll through this page, and lose myself in the sheer beauty of the ugliness of it all, I find myself strangely drawn to the music on these remarkable albums. I haven’t actually had the courage to listen yet, but after a couple more bourbons, perhaps I will. Maybe today is the day. After all, today is YOUR lucky day, because I’m going to share my joyous discovery with you. Take these, for example:
At this point, I was thinking that those rural, devout Christians are not the snappiest dressers. And, I myself am a rural, devout Christian, and my wife and daughters do make the occasional comment about my lack of fashion sense. So perhaps I should look at more rock and roll-type of albums, rather than gospel. Those will obviously show more fashion sense:
Ok, so maybe rock and roll fashion is even more absurd than gospel. Who’da thunk it? Well, those who sing love songs will be better dressed. After all, they’re trying to attract the opposite sex, right? Worth a try:
Hmmm…
Well, maybe this is just an example of modern fashion being a mess. Let’s go back to the classics, back when people really knew how to dress:
Ok, so maybe it’s not the era or the style of music. Perhaps it’s just that musicians can hear beauty, but cannot see it. Hard to say, I suppose.
I know that many of you are struggling after the hurricane, so I mercifully showed only three examples of just a few genres. I hesitate to add to your suffering, but there is much more. I don’t know how to link to a Facebook page, but you can look it up, and find many equally wonderfully horrifying examples for yourself. Share the exceptional ones below—if you don’t care about human suffering.
But just imagine someone from another country trying to assess our culture by looking at our music—or rather, the album covers. Someone from China, or Congo, or California. They would think that Americans are, um, a bit odd. Or perhaps very odd.
And perhaps we are. Perhaps that’s why I feel so drawn to this beautiful ugliness. What could be more American?
Or perhaps I should stay off Facebook when I’m drinking. Eh, whatever.
Ok, I’ve had enough bourbon to venture forth into the actual music. It’s got to be on the internet somewhere. Sometimes to find beauty, one must push past the ugliness.
Wish me luck.
Published in General
Every time when I see such ridiculousness I think of all the people Who had to be in agreement to green light this stuff: the performer, Their agent (if there is one), the producer, record executives, photographer art director, the band, and backups.
They all said, “Yeah, let’s roll with that.”
Polka Time!
Never!
Make it 10.
As soon as I saw the topic, I knew we would hear from Percival.
Hmmn, do I have any contributions? No, it appears at some point I had the good taste to delete what I used to have saved.
Lord have mercy. There ain’t enough bourbon in all Kentucky to get through all of this, I’m thinkin.
One thought from the OP, though:
Is it just me, or does this one look like Mr. Spock too?
Have you looked at James Lileks’ “Interior Desecrations”? It wasn’t just the fashion that was ghastly…
Heavy Slavic presence here. Mostly in the comments but also in the lead image in the OP. I now know that trofrtaljka is Croatian or Serbian or both for three-wheeler. I also know, now, that Croatian has a different word for tricycle. From Mica’s music, I cannot guess why there should be either.
YouTube provides that song. Perhaps grudgingly: comments are turned off. Man, what could I or anyone say? Except, gratuitously, that eastern Europe is home to accordions.
Late note: there is an entry for her on Serbian Wikipedia. Seems Three-wheeler was a stage name. If I’m reading correctly but who will ever say if I’m not, she had a niche in the Yugoslavian film world, singing funny, erotic folk songs. I totally believe this.
Not one of those in my library.
Where are The Shaggs, one of the most celebrated bands in rock in rock history — and their masterpiece, “My Pal Foot Foot” on album Philosophy of the World?
Their story is one of the strangest, saddest and ultimately triumphant in modern music. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_the_World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5T2kaFiFgg
It’s … simply indescribable.
LOL It doesn’t even look like @randyweivoda . . .
Not today, but I looked exactly like that at 8 years old. Including those pants.
Why do I think @jameslileks has even worse album covers tucked away on his web site . . .
Okay, intrigued by Polka Floyd and World War Polka looks fun.
I think Cody would rather borrow some meth.
So is the fourth person of the quartet taking the picture?
That’s probably one thing Gino shares with Frank.
I am surprised that no one has filed a complaint with HR.
I’VE NEVER SCROLLED SO FAST IN MY LIFE!!! THANK YOU! MY FINGERS THANK YOU. THIS SHOULD HELP WITH MY PLAYING MY PIANO CHORDS!! :-D
Are you implying that the innumerate can’t be musical?
Curse you all for making this so entertaining. I’m going to have to go into the attic and look at my vinyls!
Now, now, don’t go disrespectin’ my man Heino. If you haven’t heard Blau blüht der Enzian, then you haven’t really ever lived!
:He can’t count.
Many oi these have got to be self produced. They rented a studio, paid for the record production and distributed them at concerts they had. Not that uncommon.
My wife and her sisters sang as a quartet. I think all of their recorded music was on cassette.
Willy Wacker?? LOL
That’s a man??? Surely ahead of his time.