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Another Thing I Should Stop Doing
Talking to myself, aloud, in public. At least in South America, I do that mostly in English. Crossing downtown Florianópolis from my hotel to the bus terminal, I saw a girl walking in the opposite direction. She had a tattoo on her throat. I said, “Bad choice.” Then I passed an office of Banco do Brasil. I said, or rather intoned, “The full faith and credit of.” Luckily no one was there to hear that.
(And I do mean that was lucky. Brazil’s national banks – this one, Itaú, Bradesco, Caixa Econômica – all have the magic Soviet power to cause citizens to stand in very long lines for very long times. Even before they actually open in the morning.)
On the bus down to Porto Alegre, I resolved to mind my manners. But once arrived, I was right back at the bad ones. Walking to my hotel, I passed a guy whose sweatshirt read Gangster. I said, “Gangster.”
(The guy did not react. I knew from very long experience that Brazilians have no idea what’s written on their chests. Over the decades, though, there has been some change in, how shall I call it, context. Here, Gangster had other words and ornamentation around it. It could have been a brand of leisurewear, or of liquor. But back in the 80s, I’d’ve seen just the English word, or words. Nothing else. Nothing was being advertised at that time. “Skate Or Die” – huh? “John: you should eat more. Then there’d be more of you for more of us” – it actually said that. “Seductive Realty Girl” – that one was on a guy.)
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Later in Porto Alegre, this time hunting supper, I passed a dog-walking couple talking to another person, and I said, or rather exclaimed, “Beautiful dog!” It really was. Arguably, I wasn’t talking to myself: I was actually looking at the dog. Which did not look back.
And later still, in Montevideo, I came upon a cat. I said, “What an excellent cat! And one wearing a collar!” Latin America really has changed for the better, if caring for animals is any indication. Even just having ’em, cats or dogs. That used to be very rare. Further on this same downtown walk, I saw two more kitties, both with collars. Uruguay 3, Honduras 1! And all the Uruguayan ones even had tags too. Metal discs. I have to presume these had My-name-is-and-my-owner-is ID stamped on ’em.
Speaking of pets, I note only now that Portuguese itself has got the word for ’em. True, pet is pronounced “petchee” – Brazil adores and elaborates two things, vowels and consonants – but this is shorter than animal de estimação. If I’m going to keep talking to myself, I should turn it into a foreign-language drill, and say THAT over and over. Brazilians themselves did for years!
Published in Travel
A few years ago I had to pass a drug screening for employment. Visiting the clinic was an experience. I was the only one there who didn’t have a neck tattoo, and that included the nurses.
I can’t ever recall seeing a tattoo that improved the appearance of a person. Most of them detract, IMHO.
Agreed.
I remember seeing seemingly random English words on shirts in China years ago, “Baseball,” “Friends,” stuff like that. I can’t recall seeing anyone in the US with a Chinese logograph featured prominently on a shirt, though I’m sure they’re out there.
I once put a new web camera on my computer and, to test it, recorded myself working for an hour or so. When I played it back I discovered what my children and anyone who has spent more than a few minutes with me apparently already knows: I talk to myself, make odd noises, and have all sorts of little facial twitches.
Tourette’s, I’m told. Whatever. I work alone, and it doesn’t seem to bother my dog.
Speaking – in any language, loudly or softly – of Uruguay, I just figured out that I was there, not Brazil, for the recent NFL game! Affairs like that can easily elude my attention. Especially if I’m in a country that is itself not paying much attention. I could not tell, from such TV as I watched on this trip, that football as we know it is catching on. These two South American nations in particular are long-time soccer powers. That is all you see on sports TV.
I expect more business sense from the NFL. Why not have a game on the Moon?
I am, or remain, so bad. At least here in the U.S., I am more aware of myself. Leaning my bicycle against the local Walmart and walking to the doors, I passed a woman with – and I’m trying to be gallant here – a Walmart physique. I think that if you’re trying to be nice to the opposite sex by refraining from mentioning vital statistics, you should also refrain from mentioning aspect ratios. Gals, and not just the ones who are five feet tall, don’t like that! Anyway, and making a great effort over myself, I refrained from doing two things here: (1) saying, “Eatin’ healthy” and (2) pointing at her as I spoke.
Healthy people taste better.
Show your research.
It’s been in the PIT for years.