Scheduled Storytime Hours in SF Libraries Spark Citywide Protest

 

(San Francisco, CA) – Near riots around several public libraries in San Francisco ensued when gay, lesbian and other gender-identifying parents discovered that cisgendered, heteronormative married couples who identify as men and women were scheduled to read storybooks to children in many of the city’s public libraries. The protests disrupted traffic throughout the city, and unwittingly infringed on ongoing “Just Stop Oil” protesters who were noticeably perturbed because they wanted to take sole credit for bringing the city to a halt.

One incensed parent spoke to a reporter outside the main San Francisco library on Larkin. Amidst a throng of angry, shouting parents she explained, “Look, it’s bad enough that these cisgendered, heteronormative couples aren’t part of the LGBTQ+ community, but some of the stories they want to read are original fairy tales from the Brothers Grimm and not stories about two moms, two dads, pansexual threesome parents, how to tuck, or even gay animals!”

As the incensed parent said this, a tall furry standing nearby—seemingly a white and purple husky dog—nodded its (or they) furry head enthusiastically.

Unfortunately for many of the incensed parents who attended the library protests, they found a few hours later that their homes and apartments had been ransacked and looted while they had been gone.

One parent, Sequoianna Seductress, who identifies as an ecosexual and routinely has sex with trees in Golden Gate Park, didn’t seem to be as disturbed about the break-ins as some of her neighbors, thinking that perhaps the looters were probably entitled to her belongings. As she explained, “Well, I’ve been exploiting others for years because of my white privilege. So, I suppose this is just a small part of the universe re-aligning itself for social justice. Besides, my parents in Marin will replace my items and my trans-daughter’s dolls that we lost…sorry, donated.”

As of this writing, the cisgendered, heteronormative married couple storybook hours have been canceled, and the San Francisco Public Library has issued a profuse apology to all the parents and residents of the city for their grave error in booking the couples. They realized that the harm to children, especially to gender fluid or transitioning children, that would have ensued could have been emotionally catastrophic.

The preceding was possibly satire…for the time being.

See also: https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2024-06-05/pickle-and-darcy-drollinger-first-drag-laureates-from-los-angeles-and-san-francisco

And: https://www.kqed.org/news/11980160/how-sfs-drag-queens-shaped-the-city-and-the-world

In San Francisco, this debate over drag is long settled.

“Drag is as crucial to the identity of this city as the cable car,” said Peaches Christ, a San Francisco drag performer, director and provocateur for the last three decades. “Straight people have wigs in this town!”

(photo is rights free from Unsplash)

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  1. Fritz Coolidge
    Fritz
    @Fritz

    Satire today, policy and reality in 90 days or so, I worry.

    • #1
  2. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    Sure, just give them more ideas to be crazy, right!!

     

    • #2
  3. GlennAmurgis Coolidge
    GlennAmurgis
    @GlennAmurgis

    I believe Kirk Cameron was doing this – a Christian story hour and it did get flack (from the Librarians)

     

    • #3
  4. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt
    @BrianWatt

    BREAKING NEWS – Also in San Francisco…NOT SATIRE:

    49ers first-round pick Ricky Pearsall shot during robbery attempt in San Francisco

    Pearsall is reportedly in stable condition after the shooting

    https://www.foxnews.com/sports/49ers-first-round-pick-ricky-pearsall-shot-during-robbery-attempt-san-francisco-reports

    • #4
  5. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    BREAKING NEWS – Also in San Francisco…NOT SATIRE:

    49ers first-round pick Ricky Pearsall shot during robbery attempt in San Francisco

    Pearsall is reportedly in stable condition after the shooting

    https://www.foxnews.com/sports/49ers-first-round-pick-ricky-pearsall-shot-during-robbery-attempt-san-francisco-reports

    Play in San Francisco, don’t go to San Francisco.

    • #5
  6. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt
    @BrianWatt

    Sisyphus (View Comment):

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    BREAKING NEWS – Also in San Francisco…NOT SATIRE:

    49ers first-round pick Ricky Pearsall shot during robbery attempt in San Francisco

    Pearsall is reportedly in stable condition after the shooting

    https://www.foxnews.com/sports/49ers-first-round-pick-ricky-pearsall-shot-during-robbery-attempt-san-francisco-reports

    Play in San Francisco, don’t go to San Francisco.

    The 49ers play in Santa Clara much further south / San Jose adjacent. So, perhaps Pearsall was in the city being a tourist or shopping.

    • #6
  7. Sisyphus Member
    Sisyphus
    @Sisyphus

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    Sisyphus (View Comment):

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    BREAKING NEWS – Also in San Francisco…NOT SATIRE:

    49ers first-round pick Ricky Pearsall shot during robbery attempt in San Francisco

    Pearsall is reportedly in stable condition after the shooting

    https://www.foxnews.com/sports/49ers-first-round-pick-ricky-pearsall-shot-during-robbery-attempt-san-francisco-reports

    Play in San Francisco, don’t go to San Francisco.

    The 49ers play in Santa Clara much further south / San Jose adjacent. So, perhaps Pearsall was in the city being a tourist or shopping.

    I hope his lesson won’t be too expensive.

    • #7
  8. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt
    @BrianWatt

    From Instapundit (emphasis below mine):

    POUNCING DOWN THE ROAD TO DETROIT: “San Francisco 49ers rookie Ricky Pearsall released from hospital after being shot in attempted robbery,” the L.A. Times reports, adding:

    [San Francisco Police Chief Bill Scott] said the investigation is ongoing but that the suspect appears to have acted alone. He did not identify the suspect, nor would he confirm that Pearsall’s Rolex was the target of the attempted robbery.

    Dist. Atty. Brooke Jenkins said her office expects to make a charging decision by the middle of next week. Because the suspect is a juvenile, she said, the case, at least initially, will be filed in juvenile court.

    The shooting is expected to fuel a narrative that conservative pundits and politicians have hammered in recent years, painting San Francisco as a city overrun with crime and homelessness that they blame on the failure of Democratic leadership.

    Well, if the shoe fits…

    • #8
  9. Brian Watt Member
    Brian Watt
    @BrianWatt

    Former MLB star Mark Mulder:

    “What an absolute hell hole of a city!” he wrote on X. “The mentally ill Libs will still tell you how beautiful it is all while they get mugged and step in s—.”

    More from Fox News:

    The shooting occurred in the Union Square area of the city. Pearsall was reportedly shot by a 17-year-old who tried stealing his Rolex. Pearsall was shot in the chest, but the bullet exited his body without hitting any vital organs, according to his mother, Erin.

    I attended our Senior Prom at the St. Francis Hotel on Union Square. In daylight hours the City was relatively safe though it was wise to avoid certain districts at any time of day.

    In 1994, while a company I worked for was exhibiting at the MacWorld Expo in San Francisco, my fellow workers after the show had ended on the first night, wanted to walk from Moscone Center several blocks west to get back to our hotel. Having grown up in the San Jose and quite familiar with San Francisco having visited it often, I had seen the gangs and drug dealers on streets near the convention center and recommended that everyone take a cab. That was 30 years ago. The city has deteriorated further much of it as a result of a radical left board of supervisors, mayor, former mayor – one Gavin Newsom, and former mayor Willie Brown who cheated on his wife with Kamala.

    • #9
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