A Dark Horse Wins the Nevada Primary!

 

The Nevada Primary results are in folks and with the results in, Nikki Haley managed to swing 30.5 percent of the vote but surprise dark horse candidate “None of These Candidates” got a whopping 63.2 Percent of the Vote.

When approached about his shocking win, Mr. Candidates said, “Nevada is just the start! Our campaign has the momentum!  Were going to sweep every state and the convention!  CANDIDATES 2024!”

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    He has long been my favorite candidate.

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    We could do one better, though:

    A Whistlepig on Every Ballot

    • #2
  3. MWD B612 "Dawg" Member
    MWD B612 "Dawg"
    @danok1

    I’m just amazed that so many people wasted their time with the truly meaningless primary. Maybe I should move to Nevada.

    • #3
  4. Lunchbox Gerald Coolidge
    Lunchbox Gerald
    @Jose

    It would be interesting if SMOD was running again.

     

    (Sweet Meteor Of Death)

    • #4
  5. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Nikki’s new campaign slogan is “Second to None!”

    • #5
  6. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    Instugator (View Comment):

    Nikki’s new campaign slogan is “Second to None!”

    Very clever… are you in politics?

    • #6
  7. Instugator Thatcher
    Instugator
    @Instugator

    Jim McConnell (View Comment):

    Instugator (View Comment):

    Nikki’s new campaign slogan is “Second to None!”

    Very clever… are you in politics?

    Since everything is political, we all are – whether or not we want to be.

    • #7
  8. Yarob Coolidge
    Yarob
    @Yarob

    Second to none is a funny line, but recognizing that the no-delegate Nevada primary was a scam, Haley didn’t campaign in the state or spend a single day or dollar there. Good call.

    • #8
  9. Postmodern Hoplite Coolidge
    Postmodern Hoplite
    @PostmodernHoplite

    Arahant (View Comment):

    We could do one better, though:

    A Whistlepig on Every Ballot

    Mrs. Hoplite has suggested I ought to run for office under the nom d’plume of “Marmot Whistlepig.” Actually, all kidding aside, the “Whistlepig Party” is a great moniker, as the humble goundhog lives in every state (except Hawaii). Talk about bipartisan and unifying!

    • #9
  10. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    ToryWarWriter: A Dark Horse wins the Nevada Primary!

    Racist!

    • #10
  11. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Postmodern Hoplite (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    We could do one better, though:

    A Whistlepig on Every Ballot

    Mrs. Hoplite has suggested I ought to run for office under the nom d’plume of “Marmot Whistlepig.” Actually, all kidding aside, the “Whistlepig Party” is a great moniker, as the humble goundhog lives in every state (except Hawaii). Talk about bipartisan and unifying!

    I miss party names like that 

    • #11
  12. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    kedavis (View Comment):

    ToryWarWriter: A Dark Horse wins the Nevada Primary!

    Racist!

    Horse of Color, perhaps?

    • #12
  13. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    ToryWarWriter: A Dark Horse wins the Nevada Primary!

    Racist!

    Horse of Color, perhaps?

    A dark horse absorbs more heat on a sunny day. It contributes more to global warming than a light-colored horse.  

    • #13
  14. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    I liked her as UN ambassador, but this campaign shows that she has some really bad ideas.  I could excuse a slip or two, no one is perfect (especially politicians).  Her lapses, though, reveal that she has no business running a government.  I don’t trust her at all.

    How embarrassing to lose this way.  How just and right.

    • #14
  15. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    I’ve always been a fan of the “none of the above” option on ballots.  However, I’d like to see more teeth.  If “None of the above” wins a majority of delegates, then the party has to start over . . .

    • #15
  16. DrewInWisconsin, Lower Order Oaf Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Lower Order Oaf
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Golden!

    • #16
  17. Nathanael Ferguson Contributor
    Nathanael Ferguson
    @NathanaelFerguson

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Second to none is a funny line, but recognizing that the no-delegate Nevada primary was a scam, Haley didn’t campaign in the state or spend a single day or dollar there. Good call.

    If she recognized it as a scam, why did she bother to secure a place on the ballot and thus set herself up for this monumental embarrassment? 

    • #17
  18. DrewInWisconsin, Lower Order Oaf Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Lower Order Oaf
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Second to none is a funny line, but recognizing that the no-delegate Nevada primary was a scam, Haley didn’t campaign in the state or spend a single day or dollar there. Good call.

    You know what’s funny, man? (Assuming your gender, there.) Trump wasn’t even on the ballot, so “None of the above” could very easily be interpreted as “We prefer Trump!” (Or DeSantis or Ramaswamy, who also weren’t on the ballot. Only Haley, Pence, and Scott were on the ballot, and the latter two dropped out. So . . . this is really quite a feat she accomplished.)

     

    • #18
  19. Bill Berg Coolidge
    Bill Berg
    @Bill Berg

    kedavis (View Comment):

    ToryWarWriter: A Dark Horse wins the Nevada Primary!

    Racist!

    Yes, why is it a “dark” horse? One of my collogues was harangued because he said we don’t want to go in a specific direction on a project because it would be a “black hole” … he was called out for racial insensitivity. 

     Another had a chart that sh0wed some components being “blacklisted” for inclusion in the next software build. At a significant amount of effort, it had to be changed to “red listed” … the Indigenous People will likely be offended next. 

    • #19
  20. DrewInWisconsin, Lower Order Oaf Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Lower Order Oaf
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Bill Berg (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    ToryWarWriter: A Dark Horse wins the Nevada Primary!

    Racist!

    Yes, why is it a “dark” horse? One of my collogues was harangued because he said we don’t want to go in a specific direction on a project because it would be a “black hole” … he was called out for racial insensitivity.

    Another had a chart that sh0wed some components being “blacklisted” for inclusion in the next software build. At a significant amount of effort, it had to be changed to “red listed” … the Indigenous People will likely be offended next.

    Nah, it’ll be lefty whiteys and AWFLs being offended on their behalf.

    • #20
  21. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Bill Berg (View Comment):
    One of my collogues was harangued because he said we don’t want to go in a specific direction on a project because it would be a “black hole” … he was called out for racial insensitivity. 

    Going beyond the blue event horizon.

    • #21
  22. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Bill Berg (View Comment):
    One of my collogues was harangued because he said we don’t want to go in a specific direction on a project because it would be a “black hole” … he was called out for racial insensitivity.

    Going beyond the blue event horizon.

    by Frederik Pohl…

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    read it years ago.

    • #22
  23. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    • #23
  24. Yarob Coolidge
    Yarob
    @Yarob

    Nathanael Ferguson (View Comment):

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Second to none is a funny line, but recognizing that the no-delegate Nevada primary was a scam, Haley didn’t campaign in the state or spend a single day or dollar there. Good call.

    If she recognized it as a scam, why did she bother to secure a place on the ballot and thus set herself up for this monumental embarrassment?

    It was apparently her way of showing her middle finger to the Nevada GOP establishment. Good for her. 

    See https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Politics/nikki-haley-losing-candidates-option-nevada-republican-primary/story?id=107013869.

     

    • #24
  25. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Nathanael Ferguson (View Comment):

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Second to none is a funny line, but recognizing that the no-delegate Nevada primary was a scam, Haley didn’t campaign in the state or spend a single day or dollar there. Good call.

    If she recognized it as a scam, why did she bother to secure a place on the ballot and thus set herself up for this monumental embarrassment?

    It was apparently her way of showing her middle finger to the Nevada GOP establishment. Good for her.

    See https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Politics/nikki-haley-losing-candidates-option-nevada-republican-primary/story?id=107013869.

     

    But in that case, why would she lose to “none of the above?”

    • #25
  26. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    kedavis (View Comment):
    But in that case, why would she lose to “none of the above?”

    She got a bigger percentage there than she got anywhere else so far.  

    • #26
  27. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):
    But in that case, why would she lose to “none of the above?”

    She got a bigger percentage there than she got anywhere else so far.

    Good point.  She keeps claiming to have won each primary, but she hasn’t won a single one yet as far as I can remember.

    • #27
  28. DrewInLowerOrderAutonomousZone Member
    DrewInLowerOrderAutonomousZone
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Nathanael Ferguson (View Comment):

    Yarob (View Comment):

    Second to none is a funny line, but recognizing that the no-delegate Nevada primary was a scam, Haley didn’t campaign in the state or spend a single day or dollar there. Good call.

    If she recognized it as a scam, why did she bother to secure a place on the ballot and thus set herself up for this monumental embarrassment?

    It was apparently her way of showing her middle finger to the Nevada GOP establishment. Good for her.

    Now that’s a cope!

    • #28
  29. DrewInLowerOrderAutonomousZone Member
    DrewInLowerOrderAutonomousZone
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Skyler (View Comment):

    She keeps claiming to have won each primary, but she hasn’t won a single one yet as far as I can remember.

    They were all “moral victories.”

    • #29
  30. Yarob Coolidge
    Yarob
    @Yarob

    kedavis (View Comment):
    But in that case, why would she lose to “none of the above?”

    Oh, I dunno, surely the Trumpists had nothing to do with it. Oh, wait!

    “Trump caucus captains told CBS News that they encouraged their supporters to check the box for none of these candidates on the Nevada primary ballot. This was the first year that all registered voters received a primary ballot in the mail in the Silver State.”

    From https://www.cbsnews.com/news/haleys-loss-to-none-of-these-candidates-in-nevada-primary-was-coordinated-effort/.

    I’m not complaining about the tactic, just don’t pretend the result was solely a natural expression of GOP sentiment in Nevada.

    • #30
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