A Couple of Things That Made Me Happy…

 

…today, when I needed it. I had a rough weekend when I was reminded that no, I hadn’t quite recovered from my recent cancer surgery. Back on track now, but there were some long hours when I required the comfort of a heating pad on one side and a cat on the other.

I don’t usually talk about my troubles, in person or on social media. “It’s not a good idea to talk about your troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care, and twenty percent are glad you’re having them.” –Tommy Lasorda. But this place is an exception to the rule.

Hat tip to Handwaving Freakoutery on Substack for this gem. Benjamin Franklin, my great hero, trolls the Royal Society with what must be the best-articulated fart joke of all time. Letter from Benjamin Franklin to a Royal Academy About Farting (1781) | Teaching American History

Never underestimate an old fat guy. Dr. Franklin and William Howard Taft are my two prime examples.

“Some are graduated from college summa cum laude, and some are graduated miriable dictu.” –Taft

“No tendency is quite so strong in human nature as the desire to lay down rules of conduct for other people.” –also Taft.

Another shining star in the noble OFG pantheon, G. K. Chesterton:

“America is the only nation in the world that is founded on a creed. That creed is set forth with dogmatic and even theological lucidity in the Declaration of Independence; perhaps the only piece of practical politics that is also theoretical politics and also great literature. It enunciates that all men are equal in their claim to justice, that governments exist to give them that justice, and that their authority is for that reason just. It certainly does condemn anarchism, and it does also condemn atheism, since it clearly names the Creator as the ultimate authority from whom these equal rights are derived.”

Since so many people are trying to make American exceptionalism a bad thing, that is a quote to cling to…especially as it came from a loyal British subject.

“The personal strengths and weaknesses of a leader are no true indication of the worth of his cause.” That’s from Lord of Light, by Roger Zelazny. Listening to it again for the hundredth time, I heard that and thought, “How did he know Donald Trump?”

“It never requires coercion for a man to make a monkey of himself in a presidential campaign.” –Taft again. How did he know Donald Trump?

“Nothing is proven until it is officially denied.” — Otto von Bismarck. How did he know Joe Biden?

And finally, from a man who had an arm and an eye blown off in various battles: “I could not tread these perilous paths in safety if I did not keep a saving sense of humor.” –Horatio Nelson

Best wishes, y’all. Thanks for being here.

Published in Humor
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There are 9 comments.

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  1. Chowderhead Coolidge
    Chowderhead
    @Podunk

    That so retain’d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of  the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.

    I will never think of a Constitutional crisis the same way again. Thanks again for the most obscure history lesson and we truly wish you the best buddy.  

    • #1
  2. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    ~files an claim on behalf of Ricochet Quote of the Day Workers and Citation Engineers Local #4356 for lost wages due to freelance work.

    • #2
  3. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    One query, are you reading GK Chesterton to your cat, or is the pet reading him to you?

    If the cat is reading him to you, I offer great praise to said beast.

    At my house the dog up and leaves whenever I start in on GK.

    However she has been part of the household a bit over 8 yrs now. Her original habit of looking overwhelmingly annoyed whenever a gust of wind was emitted by either of her humans no longer happens.

    Perhaps my continual suggestions to her that her emissions are even more tear jerking than mine  have at long last taken effect.

     

     

    • #3
  4. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    TBA (View Comment):

    ~files an claim on behalf of Ricochet Quote of the Day Workers and Citation Engineers Local #4356 for lost wages due to freelance work.

    Oops. Should have thought of that. My bad.

    • #4
  5. BDB Coolidge
    BDB
    @BDB

    Glad you’re feeling better!  Was looking for a decent clip of Kato attacking Clouseau to commemorate your surgery, but you’ll just have to imagine it.

    • #5
  6. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    BDB (View Comment):

    Glad you’re feeling better! Was looking for a decent clip of Kato attacking Clouseau to commemorate your surgery, but you’ll just have to imagine it.

    I’ll just let my imagination run riot. The one where he comes through the bed canopy is priceless. 

    • #6
  7. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Aw geez, Doug! Don’t you hate when those days sneak up on you?! Thanks for lifting up my day,too. And feel lots better very soon!

    • #7
  8. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    My cat sits on the couch in the basement, and reads the Anarchist’s Cookbook while muttering to himself. There is a lot of catnip smoked as well. 

    • #8
  9. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    TBA (View Comment):
    There is a lot of catnip smoked as well. 

    This comment was a LOL!!!

    • #9
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