Men are _____, Women are _____

 

Note 1:

This thread was inspired by @DrBastiat’s  “Men Value Human Life More Than Women Do” thread, in a “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” kinda way.

Note 2:

This is meant to be a FUN kinda thread. No political/ideological points need to be made, really. Again, it’s just meant to be a FUN thread.

Note 3:

Responses need to be in the “Men are _____, Women are _____” format. Lemme exemplify what I mean, by providing a few initial entries:

Men are Prose, Women are Poetry.

Men are Vectors, Women are Curves.

Men are Danger, Women are Safety.

Men are Chaos, Women are Order.

Note 4:

Again, it’s about having a bit of FUN. Even if it’s deemed to be irreverent these days.

OK. Have at it, my fellow Ricocheteers! Looking forward to your responses.

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  1. Django Member
    Django
    @Django

    As long as I can remember it has been Men are Dogs and Women are Cats. 

    • #1
  2. Terry Mott Member
    Terry Mott
    @TerryMott

    Men are explainers, Women are discussers.

    • #2
  3. Ignore This, Pal! Member
    Ignore This, Pal!
    @OldDanRhody

    There is no greater truth. : futurama

    • #3
  4. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Hogamus Higamus
    Men are Polygamous
    Higamus Hogamus
    Women Monogamous 
          – usually attributed to Ogden Nash 

    • #4
  5. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Men are tape measures.  Women are measuring tapes.

    • #5
  6. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    Men are waffles. Women are spaghetti.

    • #6
  7. Jack Mantle Coolidge
    Jack Mantle
    @JackMantle

    Men are protectors of life.  Women are givers of life.

    • #7
  8. GPentelie Coolidge
    GPentelie
    @GPentelie

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    • #8
  9. Globalitarian Misanthropist Coolidge
    Globalitarian Misanthropist
    @Flicker

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    • #9
  10. GPentelie Coolidge
    GPentelie
    @GPentelie

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    How do you mean?

    • #10
  11. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Here’s one that’d get me in trouble in most places these days:

    Men are men. Women are women.

    • #11
  12. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    How do you mean?

    He means, like, “Initiating the same old exothermic reaction again, are we?” except he’s using Physics instead of Chemistry for his metaphors.

    • #12
  13. Globalitarian Misanthropist Coolidge
    Globalitarian Misanthropist
    @Flicker

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    How do you mean?

    Intended as a joke.  Men have always swung hammers.  Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    • #13
  14. GPentelie Coolidge
    GPentelie
    @GPentelie

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):
    … Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    Kinda “chemistry” like …

    Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Fillet of a fenny snake
     In the cauldron boil and bake.
     Eye of newt and toe of frog,
    15 Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
     Adder’s fork and blindworm’s sting,

    Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing,
     For a charm of powerful trouble,
     Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

    Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
     Witch’s mummy, maw and gulf
     Of the ravined salt-sea shark,
    25 Root of hemlock digged i’ th’ dark,
     Liver of blaspheming Jew,
     Gall of goat and slips of yew
     Slivered in the moon’s eclipse,
     Nose of Turk and Tartar’s lips,
    30 Finger of birth-strangled babe
     Ditch-delivered by a drab,
     Make the gruel thick and slab.
     Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron
     For th’ ingredience of our cauldron.

    Double, double toil and trouble;
     Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Cool it with a baboon’s blood.
     Then the charm is firm and good.”?

    • #14
  15. Globalitarian Misanthropist Coolidge
    Globalitarian Misanthropist
    @Flicker

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):
    … Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    Kinda “chemistry” like …

    Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Fillet of a fenny snake
    In the cauldron boil and bake.
    Eye of newt and toe of frog,
    15 Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
    Adder’s fork and blindworm’s sting,

    Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing,
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

    Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
    Witch’s mummy, maw and gulf
    Of the ravined salt-sea shark,
    25 Root of hemlock digged i’ th’ dark,
    Liver of blaspheming Jew,
    Gall of goat and slips of yew
    Slivered in the moon’s eclipse,
    Nose of Turk and Tartar’s lips,
    30 Finger of birth-strangled babe
    Ditch-delivered by a drab,
    Make the gruel thick and slab.
    Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron
    For th’ ingredience of our cauldron.

    Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Cool it with a baboon’s blood.
    Then the charm is firm and good.”?

    Yes, I didn’t want to go there.  :)

    I was thinking of rouged lips and and charcoal around the eyes, and use of herbs for various things, including cooking.  But I thought that was all too specific for “Women are _____”.

    • #15
  16. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    How do you mean?

    Intended as a joke. Men have always swung hammers. Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    Right.  Like we’ve been trying to explain, me and GPentelie, Men are Physics, like hammers, and Women are Chemistry, like stew and possibly unguents as well. I am checking on the latter but I am positive that it is either Chemistry, like stuff you put on you that doesn’t cause a rash, or Biology, like species that chew their cuds or like that.

    • #16
  17. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    How do you mean?

    Intended as a joke. Men have always swung hammers. Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    Right. Like we’ve been trying to explain, me and GPentelie, Men are Physics, like hammers, and Women are Chemistry, like stew and possibly unguents as well. 

    … sugar, spice…

    • #17
  18. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):
    … Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    Kinda “chemistry” like …

    Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Fillet of a fenny snake
    In the cauldron boil and bake.
    Eye of newt and toe of frog,
    15 Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
    Adder’s fork and blindworm’s sting,

    Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing,
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

    Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
    Witch’s mummy, maw and gulf
    Of the ravined salt-sea shark,
    25 Root of hemlock digged i’ th’ dark,
    Liver of blaspheming Jew,
    Gall of goat and slips of yew
    Slivered in the moon’s eclipse,
    Nose of Turk and Tartar’s lips,
    30 Finger of birth-strangled babe
    Ditch-delivered by a drab,
    Make the gruel thick and slab.
    Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron
    For th’ ingredience of our cauldron.

    Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

    Cool it with a baboon’s blood.
    Then the charm is firm and good.”?

    No, not that kind, the other one. I can’t describe it near as good as you did the first kind (the wrong one). All I remember is, it doesn’t have chaudrons and howlets.  As far as I know, anyway.  Now that I think of it, it very well could have either one, or even both.

    What do they look like?

    • #18
  19. Globalitarian Misanthropist Coolidge
    Globalitarian Misanthropist
    @Flicker

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    GPentelie (View Comment):

    Men are Physics, Women are Chemistry.

    Pounding the same old hammer again are we?

    How do you mean?

    Intended as a joke. Men have always swung hammers. Women stir pots of stew and unguents.

    Right. Like we’ve been trying to explain, me and GPentelie, Men are Physics, like hammers, and Women are Chemistry, like stew and possibly unguents as well. I am checking on the latter but I am positive that it is either Chemistry, like stuff you put on you that doesn’t cause a rash, or Biology, like species that chew their cuds or like that.

    Cud is for newborns.

    For unguents, emollients, salves, love potions and poisons, I would say are the sciences of Cosmetics and organic Chemistry.

    • #19
  20. GPentelie Coolidge
    GPentelie
    @GPentelie

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    No, not that kind, the other one. I can’t describe it near as good as you did the first kind (the wrong one). All I remember is, it doesn’t have chaudrons and howlets.  As far as I know, anyway.  Now that I think of it, it very well could have either one, or even both.

    Do you care at all whether anybody understands what you just wrote above? Or do you derive some sort of pleasure from exhibitionistic “I have forgotten more about linguistic precision than the rest of you, combined, have ever learned” type pedantic obscurantism? I mean, really.

    PS:

    I’m well aware that, via my reply above, I’ve temporarily lowered the FUN quotient of this thread. Sorry, everybody, but it had to be done.  Good grief.

    • #20
  21. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    For unguents, emollients, salves, love potions and poisons, I would say the sciences of cosmetics and organic Chemistry.

    We only buy organic Chemistry any more, unless Whole Foods is closed for Winter Solstice or Kwanzaa or something.

    It costs more, but it is so worth it.

    • #21
  22. Globalitarian Misanthropist Coolidge
    Globalitarian Misanthropist
    @Flicker

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    For unguents, emollients, salves, love potions and poisons, I would say the sciences of cosmetics and organic Chemistry.

    We only buy organic Chemistry any more, unless Whole Foods is closed for Winter Solstice or Kwanzaa or something.

    It costs more, but it is so worth it.

    “Organic” only means that it derives intrinsically from the self(s).

    • #22
  23. Chowderhead Coolidge
    Chowderhead
    @Podunk

    Men are pigs, women are insane for liking men. That’s the way it supposed to be.

    -Michael Graham

    He was a talk show host in Boston way back and a silent Ricochet member now.

    • #23
  24. She Member
    She
    @She

    TBA (View Comment)

    … sugar, spice…

    Half right.  Finish the analogy:

    Women are sugar, spice, and all things nice.  Men are snips (or slugs) and snails and puppy dog tails. From the early 1800s.  Not even woke.

    • #24
  25. Unsk Member
    Unsk
    @Unsk

    I know this was to be fun but……..

    the line 

    “ men are polygamous “

    ” women are monogamous”

    is from a far different era where there was a culture of shame inhibiting women  which no longer exists and as such it would seem that women are now as polygamous as men.

    ” 

    • #25
  26. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Chowderhead (View Comment):

    Men are pigs, women are insane for liking men. That’s the way it supposed to be.

    -Michael Graham

    He was a talk show host in Boston way back and a silent Ricochet member now.

    A whole lot of women DON’T like men these days.  But it’s not the men’s fault.

    • #26
  27. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Unsk (View Comment):

    I know this was to be fun but……..

    the line

    “ men are polygamous “

    ” women are monogamous”

    is from a far different era where there was a culture of shame inhibiting women which no longer exists and as such it would seem that women are now as polygamous as men.

    Part of the argument is that women don’t really like being promiscuous, they’ve just been told that they should.  And a lot of them believe it, to their lasting regret.

    • #27
  28. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Chowderhead (View Comment):

    Men are pigs, women are insane for liking men. That’s the way it supposed to be.

    -Michael Graham

    He was a talk show host in Boston way back and a silent Ricochet member now.

    A whole lot of women DON’T like men these days. But it’s not the men’s fault.

    I dunno, have you seen the current crop of ‘men’? 

    • #28
  29. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    Mark Camp (View Comment):

    Globalitarian Misanthropist (View Comment):

    For unguents, emollients, salves, love potions and poisons, I would say the sciences of cosmetics and organic Chemistry.

    We only buy organic Chemistry any more, unless Whole Foods is closed for Winter Solstice or Kwanzaa or something.

    It costs more, but it is so worth it.

    “Organic” only means that it derives intrinsically from the self(s).

    Deep. That was D – Double – E – P Deep.

    I will never again  begrudge Kroger the 50 % premium for organic, now that I realize what the true meaning is.

    NB: I see that I’ve inadvertently let slip that we don’t actually shop at Whole Foods. But no matter, I am tired of living a lie, plus, those Ricocheteers who know and understand me surely guessed that I was just making it up all along.

    Auch ein NB: I will just blab on and say that even at Kroger I don’t actually pay more for Organic because I can’t afford it to buy organic.  Once again I am just a poor boy whose story’s seldom told who is trying desperately to fit in here, like Rudy at Notre Dame. 

    • #29
  30. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    TBA (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Chowderhead (View Comment):

    Men are pigs, women are insane for liking men. That’s the way it supposed to be.

    -Michael Graham

    He was a talk show host in Boston way back and a silent Ricochet member now.

    A whole lot of women DON’T like men these days. But it’s not the men’s fault.

    I dunno, have you seen the current crop of ‘men’?

    To the extent they’ve changed, it’s largely because of women telling them that’s what they wanted them to be, and then they hate them for it.  Which is still the women’s fault really, because they would also hate them if they DIDN’T change.

    • #30
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