I’m Canceling Myself

 

It’s customary for comics to be canceled by others for their transgressive comedy. On the advice of my agent, however, I have decided to get ahead of things and cancel myself.

First, my sin: ever since I was a schoolboy, throughout my career in comedy, both onstage and in private conversations, I have told countless “your mother” jokes. Except I didn’t use the term “your mother.” Instead, I used another term that rhymes with “Obama.”

I realize now that these jokes were not mine to tell: I had appropriated them from the rich vein of African-American humor, causing cringe-inducing pain to the white women exposed to them.

In telling these jokes, I was not merely making light of women and the body positivity movement, but actively spreading a seething hatred toward heavyset mothers everywhere. I am complicit. I will not tell you that these jokes came from “a good place.” They didn’t. They came from a hatred for women and people of color that’s baked into the cake of western “civilization.” I’m better than that.

Like many other white male comedians, I mistakenly thought that the value of comedy is laughter for laughter’s sake. I know now that laughter is not enough. It’s not even necessary. In fact, laughter is a trivial value we cannot afford if it only reinforces the permission structure for ignoring societal inequalities. Moving forward, I will seek not laughter, but applause.

I realize now that my comedy has been politically useless, and that’s got to change. Moving forward, my comedy will seek to disturb, shock, challenge, and confront.
For the foreseeable future, my solitary task will be to “do the work,” which I solemnly vow not to enjoy. 

I’ll also perform only while wearing an N-95 mask.

.

Published in Entertainment
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There are 19 comments.

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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    You need to work on your infamy so that other people will cancel you.

    • #1
  2. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    I recommend David’s YouTube channel.  It’s a hoot!

    • #2
  3. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Pre-canceling.

    It’s really the only way to be sure.

    • #3
  4. cdor Member
    cdor
    @cdor

    Good boy. You can go back to your cage now. We will send you an extra scoop of gruel as a reward for you submissiveness.

    • #4
  5. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    cdor (View Comment):

    Good boy. You can go back to your cage now. We will send you an extra scoop of gruel as a reward for you submissiveness.

    If only apologizing got you that much!

    • #5
  6. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Nevertheless

    … when yo mama sits around the house, she really sits around the house.

    • #6
  7. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Stad (View Comment):

    I recommend David’s YouTube channel. It’s a hoot!

    Thanks, Stad! 

    • #7
  8. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    Pre-canceling.

    It’s really the only way to be sure.

    You mean, cancel the comedian from orbit?

    • #8
  9. Steven Seward Member
    Steven Seward
    @StevenSeward

    David Deeble:

    Moving forward, I will seek not laughter, but applause.

    That’s gold, Jerry, Gold!

     

    • #9
  10. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    You forgot, my friend, to properly recognize that the place you are telling these jokes was stolen from the Doosie Band of the Sicofum Tribe.  

    • #10
  11. cdor Member
    cdor
    @cdor

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    You forgot, my friend, to properly recognize that the place you are telling these jokes was stolen from the Doosie Band of the Sicofum Tribe.

    Exactly, just like everything else in the United States of America.

    • #11
  12. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    That was comedy gold and I apologize for laughing at it. Since I’m in Florida, I will go straightway to a re-education camp. On the beach, if possible. Near a blender. Cheers Dave! 

    • #12
  13. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    I recommend David’s YouTube channel. It’s a hoot!

    Thanks, Stad!

    If you’re going to mention it, at least link it:

    https://www.youtube.com/@DavidDeeble

    • #13
  14. Red Herring Coolidge
    Red Herring
    @EHerring

    That was funny.

    • #14
  15. David Deeble Member
    David Deeble
    @DavidDeeble

    Arahant (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    I recommend David’s YouTube channel. It’s a hoot!

    Thanks, Stad!

    If you’re going to mention it, at least link it:

    https://www.youtube.com/@ DavidDeeble

    I always think that sort of thing looks better when posted by others. Thank you!

    • #15
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    David Deeble (View Comment):
    I always think that sort of thing looks better when posted by others. Thank you!

    Exactly. I was yelling at @stad, not you.

    • #16
  17. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Arahant (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):
    I always think that sort of thing looks better when posted by others. Thank you!

    Exactly. I was yelling at @ stad, not you.

    You have to yell a little louder.  SC is a long way from Michigan . . .

    • #17
  18. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Arahant (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    I recommend David’s YouTube channel. It’s a hoot!

    Thanks, Stad!

    If you’re going to mention it, at least link it:

    https://www.youtube.com/@ DavidDeeble

    I’ve perfected lazy . . .

    • #18
  19. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Stad (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    David Deeble (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    I recommend David’s YouTube channel. It’s a hoot!

    Thanks, Stad!

    If you’re going to mention it, at least link it:

    https://www.youtube.com/@ DavidDeeble

    I’ve perfected lazy . . .

    I’d dispute that, but it would be too much work.

    • #19
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