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Health Issue, or Is God Telling Me something?
This is a topic that came up a lot during my Bible study group: It seems like God was always clearly and concisely saying directly to people “Go do this. Move there. Don’t do that,” whereas today …
My case is this: I have AFib, and it’s come back a couple of times.
[Full disclosure, I’m fine and I count my blessings on so many levels. I hope that I write doesn’t sound like I’m whining, because the focus is not on my condition as much as it is if I’m missing a message from God. Also, I’ve only been Christian for a couple of years, and was just baptized for the first time last March, so I apologize if I’m offending anyone.]
With AFib, I had to take blood thinners. I’m on them now. And when you’re on blood thinners, you want to avoid falls, car accidents, jumping out of planes … anything that can lead to bleeding or the like.
Unfortunately, two of my favorite things to do can lead to falls: Cross-country skiing and riding my bike. I am so happy when I do these things. I feel connected to God, too, when I look at how beautiful the world is on a trail, be it snow-covered or dirt for my bike.
Every time I’m on thinners, my bikes and skis just sit there. I know it’s the safest thing, but it makes me miserable.
So is God putting me in AFib to get me to stop and do more good things like volunteer? Is he saying it’s time for me to sell all that stuff, move in with Dad in Ohio to help him as he ages? [Note, I spend plenty of time with Dad and I volunteer a fair amount, but am I doing enough?]
Or is that fact that I keep coming out of AFib God’s way of saying to enjoy what I do, but never, never take it for granted? To keep getting out of the world and seeing all the beauty in it?
And last week the senior pastor of the church recently said, “The things that keep you from God aren’t always bad things. Sometimes they are good things,” but they do pull you from God. And I do think riding my bike is a good thing, but …
A brother at church is like me, he was very active, very fit and he had a stroke; he hasn’t been able to move the left side of his body in years. He said he was living to his plan, and doing well, but not living according to God’s plan.
Stroke is the biggest risk of AFib, so did God put me near this man to see what I’m dealing with with AFib? To remind me that while I may want to go off in the woods, that’s not a place to be when you have a stroke? To take the thinners and just stay in my house, nice and safe?
And every time I get ready to give away my bikes and skis, I think, “But, how happy will I be without this? Do I know God really wants me to do this?”
I just don’t know. It seems like it is a message to stop, but this weekend, with no biking, no running on trails and just going to church … it’s not been great. Truthfully, I can say I’ve sinned more, just because I have more time on my hand and I just can’t see giving up my active life just yet.
For now, I have to take the thinners and wait on my docs to tell me the next step. I hate seeing my bikes just sitting there, but I’m telling myself, “Well, maybe if I hadn’t been in AFib, I’d be out riding my bike, get hit by a car and be paralyzed from the neck down, so God is looking out for me.”
So I don’t doubt my faith, but I do wonder if someone is, or is not, trying to tell me something.
Published in General
That’s the hard thing. And sometimes we misinterpret the signals.
I agree. There is so much noise around us that we can’t figure out the real message.
Which is what prayer and meditation are for, taking time in the silence that one may hear the still, small voice.
AFib here too. But what’s the point in being medically clear if you can’t do what you makes your life joyful?
Pre aFib, when was the last time you had ski or bike accident that resulted in a loss of blood that was troubling? Never, right?
I recall getting my diagnosis. They quoted the stroke risk. 5X!!! Would I make it back to my car?!?!? But regular guys strike risk is something like 1:100,000. Mine is 5:100,000. 5X. True enough. But am I going to stop living my life for 5:100,000?
I concluded – no. I take the meds. I’m going to do the cardiac ablation. But so I can live life. Not be safe. But that’s me. I always was the one people rolled their eyes over and said said “Whadd’ya expect?”
Random thoughts:
He never makes mistakes, never changes His mind, never says “Oops, got that one wrong!”
What is man’s chief end? It is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
Can it be a good thing to have some priority apart from God? I don’t think that’s what your Senior Pastor meant. I think his point was that IN THIS WORLD we often find passing pleasures that distract us from the chief enjoyment.
Surely it is that “the love of Christ constrains us.” Long ago I figured out that there were two ways to understand this text – and neither one is wrong.
God gives us richly all things to enjoy. But we are not to trust in those things, but in the living God who gave us those things. (I Timothy 6:17)
That said, I doubt that God changed your health circumstances as a message for you to decipher. The New Testament epistles do not command us to look for messages the way our modern Christian culture emphasizes this practice. Instead, it’s more likely that, given we live in a sinful world, there are maladies of all kinds we’ll be beset with, and you now have a health issue–it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. Thankfully, God doesn’t waste anything, and he can and will use this frustration in your life for good. For example, if you find yourself cranky after not being able to go outdoors over the weekend, it might be that God can graciously use this unpleasant circumstance to help you see something in you that He needs to change.
It sounds like your outdoor hobbies were wonderful, and I will pray that you will be able to get back to them soon.
Well said!
First, my thoughts coincide very much with @sawatdeeka. I have never assumed that anything that has happened to me is a result of G-d wanting to punish me. I do think there are times He wants to communicate with me and I’m deaf, but I experience it more as a loss of a lost opportunity (if I even realize I missed it). I rarely ask G-d for healing either, or even for messages, but I do ask for wisdom to apply to my writing, and strength to deal with difficulties. It’s His presence that comforts me the most; I’m not always conscious of it, but when I recognize it, I experience sincere gratitude. I’m not sure these coincide with Jewish practice, but it’s what I do. I wish you peace as you navigate through this health issue.
I used t be a long distance runner, some 30 years back, and over the past 15 years, came to enjoy cycling. But as I age, I have found I can no longer even jog, nor have I been on the bike in two years.
What I have done instead is take regular walks, varying in length from 1 mile to 2 miles, and to make sure that I utter a friendly greeting to everyone I encounter along the way. It ain’t much exercise comparatively, but it does bring me joy in communicating with others, which was impossible when I was pounding out 10 miles on foot or swiftly passing by folks on the bike. So there are compensations. May you find yours!
Not A-Fib, but Atrial Flutter. What blood thinner are you on? Most likely Eliquis. That’s what I take. It’s nothing like Coumadin, which is the one that gives so many people problems. Your experience may vary, but mine has been pretty mild. I haven’t stopped doing anything as a result, and I get small cuts all the time. They ooze a little bit more than before, but its biggest effect for me has been discovering that I’ve gotten blood on some clothing or something before I realize I’ve been cut.
My brother does take Coumadin because he’s had a valve replacement. He’s a bicyclist, rode, oh, 10 – 20 miles a day before the surgery. A couple months after the surgery, and now on Coumadin, he rides about 10-20 miles a day.
Another benefit is that it is easy to go off Eliquis, as for some dental or surgical procedure, then go back on it. Not so with Coumadin. A few weeks ago my doc told me that with the price of Eliquis coming down, and once clinical trials show its effectiveness, Eliquis will replace Coumadin as the go-to blood thinner.
An alternative to any blood thinners is a Watchman device, which may or may not be appropriate. Ask your doc about it. My doc said “no.”
One of my several friends with A-Fib, and a pacemaker, was my Jiu Jitsu instructor. Four of us trained together, the other three were black belts, and threw each other around mercilessly all the time.
To be sure, I’M NOT A DOCTOR.
In short, talk to your doc of course, but blood thinners aren’t what they used to be. And curtailing your activities is most likely not necessary, and the results of that can be much worse.
@sawatdeeka perfectly expressed my thoughts on how God communicates with us. As far as what your senior pastor said, I suspect what he was getting to is that anything can get in the way of your relationship with God, even something that is good in itself. If it starts to dominate your life to the point that it distracts you from God, then, good or not, it’s a problem.
This is just my experience, but with me, it seems that my physical ailments are symbolic of my spirit or soul. I had swollen feet for a while [for two years] and couldn’t walk in anything but crocks and even then it was painful and I limped. And then one day I realized that I was ordering my own steps and I should be following the paths that God had for me. And the pains and swelling and inflammation went away. A few years later my neck and shoulders were killing me [for a year or so], And then I asked the same thing. And I realized that I was taking too much on my shoulders and should only do what I can, and let others help, too. And my shoulder pain went away. And things like that. If I were having an irritable heart, I would examine for and renounce or reject the irritability of my own heart and seek steadfastness.
Just last night I realized I was struggling with prayer and neglecting my daily devotions, and I was avoiding church. So I told God that my heart was messed up and asked him to make my heart clean again [maybe for the first time]. And I sat down and for the first time in weeks, looked at my evening devotion and it was on five words from Jesus. “I will; be thou clean.”
God works with everyone differently, but that’s how He works with me. Maybe He’s drawing your attention to your spiritual heart first, and how it affects your life choices, apart from your biking and skiing. He may give those back sooner or later.
Such as how I can get with posting on Ricochet. :-D
Perhaps, but you just did God’s work.
Thank you, Sawatdeeka! Just what I wanted to say!
Perhaps you can take stock of the risks and recognize that God has given you life to start with and while you don’t want to be irresponsible with that grant, you also recognize it can be taken at any time as well. If you have others in your care that you directly care for, perhaps laying off the cross-country skiing and bicycling and replacing them with something else could be prudent, but also consider whether there are steps you can take to minimize the likelihood of injury while enjoying these hobbies God has allowed you to enjoy. Also consider the strength, endurance, and coordination you maintain by engaging in each of these activities, which while they may offer some health risk in themselves, may actually help retain the benefits so that you can avoid other injuries in life and be helpful to others while dealing with A-fib. Obviously, each must weigh his / her own conscience and consider the scriptures with prayer, but it doesn’t seem to me that must be out of enjoying these activities even while you deal with the heart issue.
For me, Spirit tells me things, usually in threes. I call these Waking Dreams. In my series of My Spiritual Journey posts:
https://ricochet.com/1446281/my-spiritual-journey-part-5/
I think I mentioned having the same front right tire blow three times over a period of six months. My car always represents my state of consciousness, so when something repeats, I’m being told to change some behavior which is preventing me from moving forward spiritually
I had reached a stage in my 20s where I knew it was time to let go of alcohol, primarily beer.
I delayed and delayed, until one day when the water was turned off in my neighborhood for some repairs, I came home and found they had not turned my water back on. Water almost always means for me the Holy Spirit (especially in dreams). So I was doing something that interfered with Spirit in my life.
I got it. I quit drinking that day and never looked back.
Never a punishment, always a gift. In my experience. Your mileage may vary.
God is an Ocean of Love and Mercy.
God is also what opposites have in common.
Part of what keeps us humans healthy is being happy.
Doctors and other medical people who are in our lives can be a blessing.
But we have to balance the message they give us with our own inner needs.
If you truly enjoy bike riding and know of a bike path that is pleasant and not overly risky, I think including it in your routines could work out well.
If you cross country ski the way I do, on mostly normal snowy paths with only the most minor of small hills to take you slowly up and then quickly down, it might work as well. But if your skiing was more adventurous than that, then this idea might bring more frustration than joy.
I had a client once, 82 years old and considered by one and all to be so cantankerous that I was applauded for accepting employment with him. But we were well suited to each other. Within 3 months, I considered him a close friend.
Month 4, the nursing agency sends out a new nurse to do the required monthly home visit.
She examines him out on the shady back deck. Offers him lots of reassurance about how healthy he looks. Politely asks me if I would mind making her a cup of coffee.
Back in the kitchen she joins me. “Now I can’t tell him this, but you will need to call his family tonight when you get home. Based on the edema in his feet – I mean, have you ever looked at those frying pans of feet that he carries himself on? – he has only a few months to live.”
I was heartbroken. Once home, I steeled myself for the call I had to make.
As I stammered out his father’s plight, his 50 year old son burst into laughter. “Oh sweetie, didn’t any of us tell you? He was told in 1977 that he needed to give up all 3 of his girlfriends, knock off dancing and partying, give up red meat & all booze and beer, & live as quietly as possible.
“The doctor added that if he did all those things he might live as long as another 6 months.”
“So what happened?” I asked. After all, Bob still had those girlfriends. Of course, now that he was in his 80s, there was no dancing. But he ravenously ate red meat, enjoyed his beer, & still had the occasional cocktail.
“Well my dad being my dad, he thought the doctor had told him to give up everything for six months. He just did not hear him correctly. So for six months he lived like a monk. Oh how he moaned & bitched about the heavy blow dealt him. But when month 7 came along, he went back to his life.”
Basically by not hearing what the doctor had told him he had lived out his usual routine. It was now 1992, and he clearly had not fallen into an early grave.
That is a wonderful story and he sounds like a great guy. It gives me another idea: Tell the doc, “Look, I gave up drinking [true — I haven’t had a drink for 10 months] to help my heart and I went back I to AFib. So either take me off thinners, or so help me, I’ll start having martinis for breakfast.”
But more likely, I think once this very busy week ends, I’ll find some way to get out in the woods and think what message I may be being given. And who knows, hopefully I can hear it.
One thing to remember is that God gave all of us healthy immune systems. That system relies on the lymph system to be activated continually.
How to do that? Daily exercise, preferably an activity we enjoy.
I can’t really think of a safe activity. When I still attended my women’s group meetings, I confessed that while out in my garden and weeding under a tree, I forgot about the sturdy branch above my head. When I got up from a crouching position, I rose too quickly and got bonked hard on the head.
Two other women confessed that the same thing had happened to them.
Tai chi or yoga might be rather safe. But I have had girlfriends who threw their backs out while doing yoga.
In any event, my feeling is that the healthier a person is, the easier it is to hear God’s messages.