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When Life Looks Dark, Offer Hope to Another
I just finished a round of bereavement calls as a volunteer for hospice. People ask how I can do this kind of work, comforting those who are suffering: it’s complicated. The other day I spoke to a man who was in so much pain over losing his wife that he shouted at me, asking if I didn’t have any mercy.
So it’s not always easy.
Strangely enough, I like to make these calls when I’m not doing well. I’m in the process of figuring out how to handle an increasingly painful case of arthritis in my hands and shoulders. When I reach out to others, I remember that some people are in much more pain than I am.
Today I had that kind of call.
When we lose a loved one, our hearts break and we may feel as if we will never be whole again. So offering a comforting and reassuring word was a blessing for the bereaved—and for me.
I especially appreciated her heartfelt thanks for my calling her and encouraging her to call one of our bereavement counselors.
For a moment, the pain in my hands disappeared.
And I felt grateful and blessed.
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I have been that guy. Try not to judge him to harshly his world just exploded and he doesn’t have any understanding of how to cope with it.
I didn’t judge him at all. I just wish I had a way to comfort him besides saying I was sorry. If his moment of venting gave him some relief, it’s all okay.
It probably did. A bit at least.
Were I a religious person I would call this grace.
Keep up the great work Susan. Some of us on here might need it sooner or later.
Thank you Susan, for the post and volunteering for a truly difficult task. In my short career, at this point, I’ve dealt with having to give bad news, even unwelcome news to grieving and sometimes very angry family members. Those conversations have run the gamut from tear filled understanding to pretty intense personal invective (towards me.) I recall once getting an alarming and angry series of texts from a victims mother, that were personally directed. I was outside having a drink with my wife after a long week. My wife saw, and was angry for me. How dare you attack my husband! I told her, I got text messages, her baby is gone. It’s not pleasant, but grace and compassion, given or received, are amongst the greatest human gifts our creator gave us.
Thank you, Susan. I needed the perspective today. I had surgery on Thursday, which was completely successful but left me feeling run over by a bus, that backed up to see what they had hit. It is all too easy to start feeling sorry for myself, but my wife, my daughter, her wonderful husband, and my friends here have kept me from falling into that pit. And an exceptional nurse in the recovery room. Nurses are amazing.
A wonderful and insightful comment, Pagodan.
How wonderful, Doug! I hope you’re feeling much better soon!
G-d bless you Susan. This is incredible work which you are getting many blessings. I admire those who do this and other works of mercy.
Thank you, Manny. What’s so sweet is that the woman I spoke to, she only received my voice mail, telling her why I was calling and to leave her the number for a bereavement counselor. I always say they don’t need to call me back. But she did call me. I guess she felt invited to do so, and I was grateful that I could add a few more words of comfort directly to her.
Hope you are very much on the mend, Doug.