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Peer Pressure
It was a long time ago… if you ask my kids, the earth was still cooling and the continents were stuck together… but I remember what it was like to be a teenager. A fat, unpopular teenager who had to ask a cousin to the senior prom.
I have ranted many times about the way boys and young men are treated by our present society. They are told their masculinity is toxic. They are told their country is something to be ashamed of, not proud of. Especially if they’re white, they’re told that everything is their fault, and they can never apologize or be sufficiently sorry about it. Few of them have fathers or father figures at home. Professions they aspire to, like cops, firemen, welders and plumbers, are sneered at. Then they’re told that the earth will burn up in ten or twelve years, and anything they do about it will never be enough. And we wonder why they commit suicide or go on shooting rampages.
I’m going to voice another unpopular opinion (I would never dare say this on Facebook). I think the increase in young men identifying as gay or trans is directly related to this. You want to go from being despised to being cool in one easy step? Come out as gay, or pick one of the other clickbait sexualities. Poof: you’re no longer the oppressor, you’re a victim.
It’s the only escape they have.
Published in General
Interesting idea. I wonder (seriously) if any real research has been done on the topic.
As in many other cases, the Bee got there first:
Good point Douglas. I’m in general agreement with you on it. The Left has created a culture over the last several decades which celebrates and promotes victimhood. Victims are special, what they feel matters and any criticism of a victim or a class of victims is not only verboten; those guilty of this offense risk cancellation up to and including loss of their livelihood. White kids who are now being bombarded from kindergarten on that they are bad people and their country has always been a bad country because of “whiteness” would see this (transgenerism) as a step up on the victim pole and so are probably the most likely to announce they are some form of transgender. However, from what I’m reading this transgender issue is currently affecting girls more than boys. I have read that as recently as a decade ago, boys outnumbered girls by a 2 to 1 margin while right now today girls outnumber boys by 3 to 1.
Good points. It’s never just one thing, it’s always a combination of things.
I agree about the gay and trans stuff. For lost souls, this is a way for them to attach to an identity. Identity is all the rage today. But it is also unfulfilling, because you don’t “earn” your traits.
I’ve been noticing that mental illness is becoming an identity politics badge of honor, especially among white men. Since white men cannot claim victimized status based on race or sex, they gravitate towards fake mental illness.
I find this extremely dangerous as it removes all responsibility from the individual. Your identity now becomes linked to your poor behavior, and because that’s how you were born, all societal pressure that would normally correct said behaviors are now viewed as bigoted.
If one is of ‘The Oppressor Race & sex’ , it gives you currency when being a victim conveys social status.
I’m on the Asparagus Syndrome Spectrum. It’s real. And a real pain.
Poof, indeed.
You miss the point, Sir. Self-pity does not need pedestrian facts.
But Ricochet, and the Right in general (50% of the population) would still despise them. Or start to despise them? There may be more to it than a desire to be ‘cool’.
If you told your friends that you were gay, and kept it up for a week, would that be a great experience for you? Would they think you were cool?
Sometimes people write a lot of nonsense.
It would certainly be impressive.
I agree that an LGBT identity is, or recently was, a way to escape, at the least, loneliness and the treatment that goes with a lower social status.
Before I read “Irreversible Damage”, two people I met had me wondering if a lot of traumatized, homely or just socially awkward, frightened and inferior feeling girls adopt a trans or lesbian identity in order to feel that they fit in somewhere. Add to that that young people are now obligated to act civil and “inclusive” toward L.G.B.T. people in a way that they aren’t toward unattractive and inept heterosexuals.
I think I would definitely have convinced myself of same sex attraction and adopted a lesbian identity as a way to make my life less emotionally painful when I was a teenager. Then, often, it’s obviously very hard, I’d guess—-and not just hard on the person but emotionally and/or socially hard on a lot of people, for different reasons —-for a formerly L.G.B.T. identifying person—-a person who now feels imprisoned in that identity, due to sensing him or herself to be the sex he or she in reality is, or to be cisgender—-to go back to living in a way that acknowledges the fact. It’s easy, and a temporary relief, to jump into an L.G.B.T. identity and lifestyle, but very hard and costly to climb out again.
I think her trans was just her way of spreading hurt. I don’t know her but that’s my guess. This girl was seriously messed up, that’s a fact. She couldn’t satisfy her hatred so she took it out on Christians. The real problem is a broken family. Now we know that she was under treatment for mental issues. She also had many legal guns. Her parents said they thought she sold them. If it was my kid I would have seen the paperwork and would have been personally involved with every buyer. Any responsible parent would. This casual excuse by the parents really stinks of BS.
My wife grew up with her sisters and just her mom. Her dad was in the navy for her entire childhood. Maddy kept the girls in line all the time. It is possible to have a functional family with a single mom, a single dad, or better yet both.
Like all mass shooters she had to have come from a broken family. That is the primary source of this particular type of violence. That too cant be said on Facebook.
I agree with the OP. It’s like JK Rowling said — make boys feel valueless and they will go to groups that say they value you. The Alt-Left has Trans and the Alt-Right has supremecists. Disaffected boys will gravitate in either direction depending on individual factors. Neither is healthy.
Adam Lanza, the mass murderer of schoolchildren in Connecticut, was autistic (I read this woman was). The big similarity, though, is what you say about parents and guns. I couldn’t believe it when I read Lanza’s mother had guns in the house and had taken Adam to shooting practice.
Considering she was raising a son with a disability, she certainly had a lot of time to hang out at a particular bar. On top of that, she had taken a job she loved at the school Lanza once attended, the school at which he would later kill so many people (mostly children). Their house, the house at which Adam Lanza—-who seems to have had very little social life—- lived practically alone with his mother, was enormous. The mother’s ex, Adam’s father, was wealthy. I don’t think Mom took the teacher’s assistant job because she needed the money. So you have a fatherless son (Dad Lanza didn’t visit often, if at all.) and a sense that both parents were seeking escape from the job of raising the kid.
I believe this stuff is happening more in junior high and high school where a person can gain overnight popularity with proto-Karens by declaring ‘other’. Extra points if they can do your hair and nails.
Rich Lowry puts it perfectly:
Yes, We Are Making Kids Trans
You know, I am basically not at odds with the view that there are suddenly a LOT of kids declaring themselves non-binary or trans, and that this seems to be unlikely to be a genuine thing for the vast majority. I think it is meaningful that more girls than boys do this – and that there is more to this than girls being more fluid in their sexuality than boys. It does make one wonder why being a woman is such an unattractive proposition for so many young girls today. Is it feminism? Is it traditional gender roles? Is it both? Is it something else entirely? Who knows? It’s not a discussion I’ve seen, or indeed a discussion most conservatives seem even aware that you might/should be having. (Ditto for Leftists.)
What I am not on board with is this whole ‘they say that they’re gay to be cool and accepted in High School’ thing. It’s basically a huge cope, basically, for people who are uncomfortable with gay or trans kids existing as a thing. “They’re doing it to be popular” is a cop out. It’s on par with “they’re doing drugs to be cool” – rather than “they’re doing drugs because it gives them pleasure”. It’s not dealing with reality.
If you are socially awkward and unpopular when you’re straight – guess what? You’ll still be socially awkward and unpopular when you’re gay or trans. You’re still you. If anything you lose whatever capital you had from being part of the majority. Your might rise in the perception of SJWs but guess what again? They aren’t in school with you. Maybe you can hang out with Miss Anne (maybe, if you’re willing to be an accessory like a hand bag or a French Baguette), but that’s hardly a social victory. And you know what? Miss Anne isn’t that popular either.
@zafar, I think you are missing something. They might be still socially awkward, but they have moved (in the current environment) to where anyone noting their social awkwardness is engaging in discriminatory or bigoted behavior. You are no longer the “bad” person because (in your mind) you can’t fit in. You are now part of the group that must be celebrated and must not be criticized. That is a powerful improvement for the (still) socially awkward. You’ve now got a flag!
Really? I’ve seen a lot of discussion of this topic among conservatives, frequently blaming the breakdown of traditional norms of dating, courtship, and marriage in the wake of the Sexual Revolution and the rise of online porn.
There’s also the related recent “tradwife” phenomena, the rise of social media influencers embracing a counter-cultural retro-50’s housewife lifestyle.
As if they weren’t before.
This seems nuts.
The bullied are not automatically bad people. Bullies are bad people. If we’re going to phrase it along these lines.
My question: why is discriminatory or bigoted behaviour in school okay in any circumstances?
LARPing.
You seem to be ignoring my point. My point isn’t that bullying is not based on bigotry or that bigotry is OK. I am addressing why even if someone is still socially awkward afterward they would be attracted to declare themselves “gender fluid” in the current environment. It is about gaining a sense of power.
It’s like a teetotaler joining AA for the business and social contacts.
I knew someone who went to Love and Sex Addicts Anonymous because he knew he could pick up. True story.
Like performing heterosexual identity used to confer? (And still does, in most places.)
There is nothing new under the sun.
Despise? Not in my world.
First generation Yankee on one side. 15 kids and nieces and nephews. Traditional Catholic. Evangelical Christians on the other side; 8 kids and nieces and nephews on that side.
In all those dozens of people, I can’t think on one who would “despise” anyone who announced they were gay or trans. Frankly, it would probably garner a shrug. Maybe an appropriate eye-brow raise and a genuine concern for the young person who is identifying as trans.
In the big messy family tree, if you go to the next generation, there’s a young person (12 years old) who is gay but whose mother has convinced him he is Trans. Is that person despised? Not even a little.
Choose your words more carefully, @zafar. What do you mean by “despise”? And from what poll did you get that batshit number?
What a bunch of cope Annefy, you’re full of it. Unless your whole family (including the lady with a gay/trans child) is of the Right and votes Republican it’s apples and oranges.
Just look at what’s published on Ricochet (which is far more civil – usually – by design than most other forums). Ranging from the passive aggressive ‘I don’t understand’ or ‘we’re all sinners, I’m not judging’ to more straightforward screeds, the vast majority of posts or comments about gay or trans people show contempt towards them.
For your easy reference
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/contempt
contempt
[ kuhn-tempt ]
noun
the feeling with which a person regards anything considered mean, vile, or worthless; disdain; scorn.
the state of being despised; dishonor; disgrace.
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/despise
despise
[ dih-spahyz ]
verb (used with object), de·spised, de·spis·ing.
to regard with contempt, distaste, disgust, or disdain; scorn; loathe.
@zafar re comment #27
I don’t know what a bunch of “cope” is. But you have no idea what you’re talking about. And yes, 80% of the people I’m talking about are of the Right. And while the mother of the Trans child of which I speak is not of the Right, the child’s father is. As is his stepmother. As are all his grandparents.
Despise? By including the definition of the word “despise” … well, now I’m pissed. I don’t appreciate being accused of regarding people I genuinely love with contempt, distaste or scorn. And loathe?
I’m hoping that you’re not stupid enough to think that disapproving of another’s life style equals “despise” or “loathe” of the individual. Actually, stupidity is your best defense at this point.
And you’re foolish to equate anything that is said online at Ricochet or any other forum on this issue to be the same as how someone treats other people. My most ardent Catholic friends and Evangelical relatives (100% on the right) have treated the Trans people and gay people in my life and their own with nothing but grace and good manners.
Because there’s no excuse for bad manners.
And in fact you haven’t as far as I can recall made any vile posts or comments about gay or trans people. But plenty of other people have. Why are you so sure that you, and your probably quite lovely family, are typical of the Right rather than outliers?
Consider:
What’s that about? Three a day seems like a lot.
What might be
stupidunwise would be to claim that being polite to people means that you respect them. And you can be as polite to them as you want, but if you support laws which harm people then you are just outsourcing treating them badly.Self awareness is always such a struggle for me :-(
Maybe. I think gays are kinda weird. I think trans are screwed up mentally. I think gay culture is juvenile.
I think most major religions are anti-homosexuality because it is literally written in the text(s) as deeply wrong/sin. But that most religious people are anti-gay to the extent that they don’t want people burning in hell. Which is more than I can say for the motivations of the anti-religious.
It is true that legalizing gay marriage is part of what got us to the trans weirdness we are seeing now.
If that’s contempt, I guess I’m contemptful.