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Is Transgenderism Just a Defense Mechanism?
I know some teenage girls who have defined their gender as some kind of asexual (“ace”). And it got me thinking that perhaps part of the support for the transgender movement is born from nothing more than insecurity in the face of a chaotic and terrifying world of social interaction.
It makes some sense, right? After all, kids now are afraid to so much as make a phone call. They lack rules of engagement for social interaction, let alone romantic interest. What if declaring themselves some weird gender is just to get ahead of the crushing disappointment of rejection in a world without any set of clear rules or expectations?
Life is scary. Other people are even scarier. The unknown is the scariest of all. If you batten down the hatches in advance, then you can avoid rejection. Avoid risk by rejecting even the possibility of reward.
Is there something to this?Published in General
Yes, Abigail Shrier makes a similar point though not quite the same as yours in Irreversible Damage. She says that the pornification of the culture has made some young girls terrified of the whole idea of sexual activity so they’re opting out in a sense.
If girls are hitting puberty earlier than previous generations that’s got to be a factor. If mentally you’re still very much a child but your body has started doing these uncomfortable and embarrassing things that’s not going to be pleasant. I often wonder at how so many adults don’t seem to remember being young themselves and what it felt like.
I believe transgenderism is many things.
Life is hard. The craziness out there isn’t helping.
When the consequences of a rejected invitation to a date can include a charge of sexual harassment, fewer men are making the effort.
I’ve been meaning to write a post on this very topic; probably not going to happen so I’ll add my thoughts here.
Nearly eight years ago I wrote this post What would you do if Jenner was your kid? I recently spent a lot of time with our friend, who’s (TL:DR version) then 22 -year old son came home from college, announced his new name and pronouns and has been living the life of a woman ever since. Well … a lesbian woman, of sorts. No surgeries, takes female hormones, presents as a female and only dates women.
We shared quite a bit of time with our friend recently, and he shared some thoughts. Apparently, the person in question was always very timid and anxious. And though talented in a few disparate subjects, has no self confidence and is plagued with constant self doubt and is quick to panic. No ability to advocate for himself or compete.
Our friend thinks his now adult child chose the path of living as a woman for a couple of reasons: 1) it immediately put him in a protected class; 2) it placed his mother and sister in the front line as his warriors (a few more details about that in the original post); 3) s/he could never be expected to be someone else’s protector; 4) lowered expectations for life achievements.
Basically, it gave s/he an excuse to spend the rest of his life with a constant case of the vapors.
I just watched a Jordan Peterson short YouTube where he explained that black girls start puberty younger, on average, than others. And that fatherless girls start younger as well. So you have 11-year-old girls who look like 17-year-olds, but with the psychological/emotional maturity of a child. Terrible pressure. And what with all the divorce/absentee fathers and never-married single mothers, it’s no wonder kids are freaked out about life and sex.
But, it’s not just girls. As noted, I have very recent experience knowing of youngish, confused, scared males.
This has been discussed at length as the latest manifestation of body dysphoria associated with puberty. It used to manifest as eating disorders, but those are labeled disorders and treated as such. Now it’s manifesting as “gender” dysphoria and is celebrated. Very likely the same root cause in fear of the body changes associated with puberty. As noted, above, there’s plenty of fear of untimely pressures of sexual activity, especially in this hypersexualized culture. It’s very very sad that a generation of girls are being sacrificed on this sick, pagan altar.
I would try to impart, without the desperation I would feel, that he is loved as the person he is and doesn’t need to change his appearance or pronouns or anything else to be cherished for who he is.
But, I would feel desperate for him, as I do for the young man I met recently. Praying, praying, praying. . . before he goes down this terribly disordered path toward even more misery.
Of course – and how long has it been since eating disorders (especially bulimia and anorexia ) were in the news? None of these girls seem to be underweight…
To be fair to the kids, so am I.
One thing I have never had an answer for. Why do a large amount of women like transsexuality and homosexuality. I noticed several things very little in life. Women in my lifetime seem to be fascinated with gay men and trans men. When young most women I dated would drag us to gay clubs and trans events. As the gay and now trans groups gain power and have gay pride events more and more women seemed to go to these events, support these events and require their men to take them to these events. Most men I know do not like to go to these things and if they went to a sex show it would be a strip club. So why do women love these things? Especially since these would be the same women that would hate a strip club but go to every weekend of the shows during Pride week?
So, a lesbian in a man’s body? I remember when Rush Limbaugh said that’s what he was. Join the club, dude!
Some necessary context required. If you don’t mind, how old are you? What you describe is certainly outside my experience, so I wonder if it’s generational. Personally, I–and the women I know–find effeminate men creepy (I still don’t get the appeal of Leonardo DiCaprio) and trans beyond so.
I am 60. This stuff was happening in my 20s and 30s. Been with same woman since 1998. She is very against this sort of thing but she has a lot of female friends and talks to them a lot. It has been an interesting learning experience hearing them talk and all they seem to be around. Male gay is a friend all them have, now the trans. When she went back to school the new generations were even more into it.
Some women probably see gay men as easier to be friends with than straight men, since they don’t have to worry about being hit on by them.
I can believe that. I also believe many women who’ve been sexually abused by men as children end up in lesbian relationships, which, weirdly, are prone to be abusive as well (domestic violence).
but it’s at least more even
Thanks for the reply. I’m just a few years older. Funny the different experiences; I was sure you’d turn out to be ten or twenty years younger. There was definitely some “experimentation” going on around me in the wild late 70s to early 80s and, sometimes, when girlfriends and I went to a bar for music and drinks, we’d claim to be a couple to get guys to leave us alone, but it always backfired into a “can I watch?” scenario. What is it with that one, guys??? I do get the no-strings thing about gay male friends, though; in fact, I used to dance with one who was an incredible tango partner, but we weren’t even friends off the dance floor. Other than ballroom dance, we didn’t have anything in common. Interesting, my husband and I have also been together since 1998. That was a good year!
Yes. I can only speak for myself of course. I really enjoy mixed company. But you learn early on that your ordinary friendliness can be misinterpreted, or worse, what you thought was mutual friendship was one party just waiting for an opportunity. I’ve had some very good male gay friends (still do but in different countries now). None of them were effeminate and they weren’t really gay scene people either.
I seem to remember @henryracette posting along these lines a year or two ago.
I’d say this is the most common explanation, at least for the people that end up in inpatient psychiatric care (which is where I meet them). This is particularly common in the adolescent population.
One other common type is the clinical narcissist, who uses transgender victimhood as a moral trump card. More common with adults.
Oh, and people with autism, who just want people to accept them.
I think your item #2 is big. We currently are living in a culture in which victimhood is king. Victims are special, what they feel matters and any criticism of a victim or a class of victims is not only verboten; those guilty of this offense risk cancellation up to and including loss of their livelihood. White kids who are now being bombarded from kindergarten on that they are bad people and their country has always been a bad country because of “whiteness” would see this (transgenderism) as a step up on the victim totem pole and so are probably the most likely to announce they are some form of transgender.
This is big.
Richard Dawkins appeared on the Piers Morgan show to support J.K. Rowling and Kathleen Stock against the “bullying” against their views on transgenderism.
Dawkins says, “As a biologist, there are two sexes and that’s all there is to it.” He goes on to say that race is much more of a fluid concept than sex and that a person truly can be “mixed race.” But not with sex.
Why, that science-denying religious bigot!
I knew an adolescent boy who, having previously come out as “gay,” was accused of racism by a peer during a heated argument. He came out as transgender the very next day. Talk about taking a step up the victim ladder.
And a society over saturated with silly, foolish, and evil adults amplifies the problem.
What you are stating, the fear and negativity surrounding being a female, might indeed propel the teenaged female crowd to consider being asexual. With some in that group now joining the continual increasing numbers of Calif youth who go “trans.”
But when the message is pushed for younger girls, I think it might allow a girl child’s natural tendency to being in love with being female which could throw them into being lesbian.
For instance, fifth and sixth grade girls hang out with other girls. Because our educational system in the big cities started this idea which skews all kids of one year to be only with kids of that same year, the boys whom young girls are around are no match for them.
Socially boys develop slower than girls do. For instance, I was close friends with a boy when I was that age, but he was 3 years older than me.
From kindergarten on, US kids are being hammered with the idea that allowing oneself to be straight is to be part of an intolerant “anti” and intolerant group of people.
Hearing this message at school, at home, on social media, and in every other streaming TV and movie show displaces the way a young person’s mind used to think about life before this “propaganda is truth” and “truth is hate-speech” movement caught fire and began burning down our society’s normal habits and behaviors.
I’m with you on this, St. A. Considering all the weirdness in the world these days , I’m getting to the point where I’m afraid to answer calls, let alone make them.🙂
Gee, I’ve been there since . . . I don’t know, maybe 2005 or so.
There could be something to this. Kids in any era go through transitions which stress their emotions, but in today’s world the stress from all sorts of avenues is multiplied many times over. Kids need their innocence preserved until they fully emotionally develop. Some can handle it. Some can’t.
I saw this story a week ago although it is a month old. I don’t why Fox News had it on my version of their front page a week ago, but at any rate, it’s about a lawsuit by a “detransitioner”:
A double mastectomy on a young girl? I just can’t get it out of my head now. I keep ignoring this issue because there’s nothing I can do about it, but I am so angry and upset about it. It’s hard to fathom that people are really doing this to young people. The number of human beings involved in that surgery, who went along with it, is beyond me to understand.
And I hate to say this because no one is more grateful to the doctors and nurses I and my family have had over the years who saved our lives and made us feel better. But where are the other doctors to drive these child-mutilating-doctors out of practice? I can’t picture any of the doctors I’ve ever known going along with this–in fact, they’d be as angry as I am and more so.