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My beloved Uncle Gabe was diabetic, and when his sugar dropped, his vision would become blurred and he would become irritable. So when he was driving, his wife was always alert to potential problems. They came down to Tennessee to visit us once, and when they got close to our road, he could feel his sugar dropping, and he was having a hard time reading the road signs to find the turn. He would ask, “Is that it?” and his wife would say no – should I drive? He would tersely respond, “No. I’m fine.” And his wife would watch even more closely.
Anyway, they finally found our road in the mountains of Tennessee, where our exotic neighbors raised even more exotic animals as a hobby. All of a sudden, he grew very quiet and just stared straight ahead, which his wife found concerning. Then his young daughter in the backseat yelled, “Look! A zebra!” And Uncle Gabe let out a relieved gasp and said, “Oh, thank God…” When he had seen our neighbor’s zebra, he finally had started to wonder whether he really was ok to drive. What an odd-looking pony that is – Oh my God…
This is how I feel watching the news now. I had a post with over 80 likes not hit the main feed after Biden’s victory, I think because I openly wondered whether our elections were legitimate. Such wondering is no longer verboten. The head of the FBI today acknowledged that perhaps COVID really was leaked from a Chinese lab that was developing bioweapons. Our Supreme Court is trying to figure out how the President of the United States can simply transfer hundreds of billions of dollars of taxpayer money to grievance studies majors. Elon Musk is exposing the long-term coordination of our government and the social media tycoons to suppress free speech.
So, many conspiracy theories are being exposed as obvious truth. So now I feel like less of a conspiracy theorist. And like my Uncle Gabe, I think, “Thank God. I was really starting to wonder if I was crazy, for a while there...”
Will it help? Will it help that the truth is being exposed?
Well, no. Not if our elections are being controlled. Not if our government is working with social media tycoons to control speech. Not if our President does not need to consider the Constitution as long as he’s a Democrat.
If those things are true, then none of this helps.
But for it’s worth, I feel better about myself.
As I often say, I hope I’m wrong about all this.
And as I even more often say, I need another drink.
The bourbon doesn’t fix any of this. It just makes it hurt less.
pause *sip* pause…
Ah, that’s so much better.
Except for one problem. One serious problem that even the bourbon can’t help me with:
If all those other ridiculous conspiracy theories were actually true all along, what about all those other conspiracy theories? The conspiracy theories that are still considered conspiracy theories among polite company?
I used to think that those whacko conspiracy theorists who believed that the only solution to complete leftist control of America was secession — that the only hope for freedom was to split America up into two or more countries — I used to think that those whacko conspiracy theorists were whacko conspiracy theorists. I still do. Really. After all, I’m not a whacko conspiracy theorist. Right? Right.
But I’m no longer laughing out loud. Perhaps I’ll just keep my criticisms to myself, and see how all this plays out.
After all, those conspiracy theorists — they really are nuts. Right?
I need another drink.
Oh my God…Published in