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The Anecdotal Yokel Calls 1-800 Numbers
I’m a man with bad timing, apparently. No Swiss timing, have I. When I settle into a chair for some good, old-fashioned calling about problems with whichever account, I know I’m going to be waiting. I will say the on-hold music has improved, but now it seems to be 30-second loops of music that play over and over like a musical version of Chinese water torture. I used to be surprised to learn every time I called, no matter when or which number I called — bank, credit card, government offices – they were experiencing “higher than normal call volume.” What are the odds?
Side note and idea for niche band: On Hold, a band that faithfully recreates traditional on-hold music behind a glass, while the audience listens on telephones with modified speakers. Could I get a government grant?
Oh, they answered! Gotta go.
Published in General
Unfortunately, one of the few things more irritating than the lengthy wait on hold is the fruitless conversation that takes place once they finally answer. My sympathies.
I have a local bank in Oklahoma, but their security makes it impossible to access online from Korea, so I have to call them for EVERYTHING.
Or how about “Our options have recently changed.”
No, they haven’t.
Whatever happened to Muzak?
There are plenty of ways you could make these holds more pleasant, but I think most companies have decided that it’s more efficient to get you to stop bugging them than to fix your problem.
They claim to use technology to enhance customer service. What they mean is they use technology to avoid providing customer service.
I hate it when you call a medical facility, and the pre-recorded intro goes through a long list of information and options before it does the standard, “If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911.”
Really?
“Help! I just cut myself and I’m bleeding to death! Someone call my pharmacy!”
One way is to suggest you use their online services, which enable them to ignore your query more efficiently.
I especially enjoy the option my internet/phone/cable company provides me with when I want to report that my internet connection is not working: “Have you considered using our online service requests, which will allow you to have your needs met by the end of the week?”
Good news, though: your call is very important to them.
Yes, I’m always surprised to hear them say that. How DO they know it is?