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Stalin is dead and things have begun to lighten up a bit relatively speaking. An old couple live in an apartment in Moscow and she sends him down to buy some meat for supper. After queueing for the obligatory three hours he gets to the counter and the woman says ‘No more meat, meat finished’. He cracks and starts raving ‘I fought in the Revolution, I fought for Lenin in the First World War and for Stalin in the Second World War and we are still in this [REDACTED]?’ One of the leather-jacketed brigade takes him on one side and says ‘Look old man you know you can’t talk like this. Just think, a few years ago you would have been shot for saying these things.’ The old man trudges home. His wife seeing him empty-handed says ‘Run out of meat again have they?’ He says: ‘It’s worse than that, they’ve run out of bullets.’
Or, this one, which is different:
A young couple are in Red Square in Moscow the night before their wedding. The sky is dark and gloomy and the young bride is worried that their wedding day might be ruined if it rains instead of snowing. She turns to her husband and says,
“Dearest Ivan Alexseivich, I am worried that it may rain and melt all of the snow which would ruin our wedding since we are arriving by troika”.
Ivan turned to her and said, my dearest Katya Ivanova this would truly be a tragedy, but do not fear. I will ask my good friend Rudoph Petrovich if it will rain tomorrow.”
“Isn’t Rudoph Pretovich your childhood friend?” she asked
“Yes, we were in Young Pioneers, and them Komsumol together and we both joined the Party together. He got a job here in Moscow where he is a manager at a tractor factory. He is a true communist!” Ivan told her
“But why would you ask him about if it would rain? Is he a meterologist?” Katya asked
“No, he is a factory manager like I said, he studied engineering in university” Ivan replied
“So, why would you ask him about the weather for our wedding?”
“Because, my dear, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear.
What are some good ones that you have heard?Published in