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Professional Jokes
I don’t mean jokes told by a professional comedian, I mean jokes told about a particular profession. Unlike ‘lawyer jokes’ that I know, I don’t mean jokes others make to poke fun at a particular profession, I mean jokes that those in the profession would tell about themselves — usually with a seed of truth.
The best I can do is to give an example. I am an Engineer and this is about the only Engineer joke I know. Unfortunately, it is best told in person, since it requires sounds and gestures which are difficult to put into writing:
During the French Revolution, a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are all to be executed by guillotine.
The priest is first and he asks to be guillotined face-up so he can face his maker. The executioner complies and cranks up the large heavy blade….
whoosh, clunk (this requires a downward chopping motion with the hand with an abrupt stop along with the whoosh/clunk sound effects)
The guillotine has jammed!
The lawyer yells, “That’s it! You can’t try again, since it would be double jeopardy,” so the priest is allowed to leave.
The lawyer is next and also requests to be guillotined face-up. The blade is cranked up again and…
Whoosh, clunk — the same result. The lawyer is also allowed to leave.
Then it is the engineer’s turn — he also asks to be executed face-up and the blade is cranked up again…
The engineer cries out, “Hey guys! I know how to fix this thing!”
The seed of truth is that to an engineer, fixing the thing is the most important task at hand.
What “professional jokes” do you know? Bonus points if it is your profession.
Published in Humor
A mathematician, statistician and economist are being interviewed for a job.
The mathematician is interviewed first. He is asked “What is 2 + 2?” The mathematician answers “4”
Then the statistician is asked “What is 2 + 2?” He goes off for a few hours, makes a bunch of phone calls, and comes back with a big elaborate spreadsheet. He says “The answer is 3.865, plus or minus 6%, 19 times out of 20”
Then the economist is asked “What is 2 + 2?”. The economist leans in a little bit, and says in a low voice “What would you like it to be?”