Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
Poor Harry, Poor Me
I admit that I am not a close follower of the British royals or anything, but I cannot help but hear about them whenever they make news. That being said, I am open to correction on anything I get wrong since I am not interested enough to do a lot of homework on it.
The latest kerfuffle has been caused by Prince Harry in his memoir, Spare. The term “spare” refers to the ancient practice of making sure the king had at least two male heirs who could become king when the king himself died. Until recently, life was much more uncertain than it is now and children frequently died. So it was prudent for a king to produce more than one possible heir to the throne, hence the term “heir and a spare.” As we are all well aware, Harry is the ‘spare’ and his brother William is the ‘heir.’
I imagine that being part of the royal family, especially if one is directly in line for the throne, can be a terrible burden. You live in a fishbowl and everything about you and your family is scrutinized. The expectations are extremely high. You are constantly being told what to do and how to do it. It is not something I would ever wish to experience.
At the same time, a prince has enormous privileges and rights. Fulfilling his duties, he would never lack anything and have just about anything he wished. He would never have to worry about how to make a living. I wonder if he has even ever had to make his own bed or cook his own dinner, much less clean his bathroom.
At the same time, I would not blame him or any other royal who “wanted out” of onerous royal duties and responsibilities. I am perfectly fine with him walking away and saying that he just wants to lead a normal life. But when he walks away, he ought to give up the privileges and income, too. He ought to live like the rest of us. He ought to give up the royal title and the perks that come with it, except for the security he might need to keep from being a hostage or target of some nut.
But Harry has decided to become a crybaby. Ignoring his great privileges and status, he wants to “expose” the supposed abuse he and his wife have suffered and the loneliness he experienced in his earlier days. He says that he was physically attacked by his brother in an argument. He says his wife suffered racial abuse. Maybe that is all true.
I have an older brother, too. He was the “favorite”; I was not. He was given cooler cars to drive. He was treated special. Once when I called my parents (as a good son does). I was told not to call at that time of the week since that was when my brother called. I could go on and on, but everyone will tire of reading about it. If I wanted to, I could make myself out to be a victim. I could nurse grievances if I chose too. (I have a lot bigger potential grievances than what I have mentioned.) I could have let it occupy my mind and believe that I have been terribly treated and I could dwell on the negative, but what would be the point except to make myself miserable and ruin my relationship with them.
The Bible says to forgive one another and to honor one’s father and mother. I have done that to the best of my ability. I am not going to harbor a grudge, no matter how much it might be deserved. And I was not physically abused or shunned or pushed aside. I simply was not treated quite equally with my brother. But I am thankful for all the good things my parents did for me. I had a car to drive as a teenager. They paid for my college education and made sure I went to good schools. I even got a motorcycle for my 16th birthday! Should I complain because my brother got a better one?
Harry has decided to become a victim and I frankly find it pathetic. We might wonder how a child of such great privilege became seemingly embittered. How did he become a victim? Unfortunately, victimhood is a good thing in this sick culture of ours. We think that people will feel sorry for us.
This whole thing reminds me of an article I read years ago. Minorities attending a prestigious university were protesting how horrible it was to be “victims of discrimination” and a “racist society.” The author of the article noted how privileged these crybabies really were. They were receiving an education that the ancient Greeks could only dream of. Their lives were much easier and more comfortable than the kings of medieval Europe. Compared to the rest of every human being who has lived on this planet, they are the 1% of the 1% of the 1% and on and on.
I do not minimize true human suffering. Prince Harry suffered the loss of his mom in terrible circumstances. I feel for him in that respect. All of us suffer – some more and some less. We ought to have compassion on those who suffer and help as we can.
But this victim mentality is poison and it has seeped into the royal family. I think of the late Queen Elizabeth and how she performed her duty without complaint. I don’t think that the worst things for her were the obligations of her position or following every little protocol to the letter or even the “fishbowl” she lived in. I think it was putting up with her relatives who seemed determined to bring scandal on the family and the UK.
Wouldn’t it have been wonderful if Harry had written a memoir of his life in the royal family that showed the gratefulness we should expect people of privilege to have. Of course, he would have to show a lot of humility instead of bragging about how many Afghans he shot. And there would be the sad chapter about the devastation that he felt with the loss of his mother. Then people would have seen that despite his privilege, he was a vulnerable human like the rest of us. He could be the royal that we really relate to. He could be “Harry, formerly known as Prince.”
Published in General
Not just the royal family, but any landed gentry had the “heir and a spare” concept. Outside the royal family, the heir inherited the property. Second sons became lawyers or clergy, or sometimes military officers. To the landed gentry, the wife’s obligation is to give birth to an “heir and a spare,” then any flings and dalliances she might pursue have fewer practical consequences.
Some “spares” relish not being on the hot seat of being the heir. Queen Elizabeth II’s father never expected to be king, and apparently was very happy to be out of the limelight. Until his brother decided to abdicate. Then suddenly he was thrust into a role for which he had not prepared.
My younger brother did spend his entire childhood in my shadow. Fortunately for him, he is both smarter and more talented than I am (though not in exactly the same subjects). And he realized that although he didn’t get some of the privileges I did, he also didn’t have some of the responsibilities I did (especially the responsibility to try to pull our mother and our household back together from the nervous breakdown our mother had when our father left us when I was 13 and I suddenly became for a time the functional head of the household).
I also suspect that Harry’s wife Meghan has had a strong influence on him. She probably did have an enormously difficult time fitting into the royal family. She is American, and thus has zero experience with how the British royal family operates, what is expected of its members, and how different the life of a “royal” is from the life of even wealthy or famous British people, and perhaps most importantly, why the life of a royal is different. It would not surprise me that few if any people in the royal household who might have prepared Meghan for what it would mean to be part of the royal family didn’t even realize how deficient her knowledge was, and so did not teach her what she really needed to know. Knowledge a wealthy British girl operating in high and noble society would have absorbed by osmosis, would be totally foreign to Meghan. Though it also appears Meghan was not a willing or cooperative student for the efforts that were made to bring her up to speed on life as a royal.
Plus, I can see from some of their business deals that the Sussexes have been getting some terrible business and legal advice. I suspect the personal advice they are getting also is not doing them any favors.
Not only gentry. Any society that practices primogeniture does it. If I understand correctly the latest findings of how the Neolithic tribes were replaced in Europe, it was by a people from the southeast that came up the Balkans, practicing primogeniture. The “spare” sons moved on out from the main settlements, killed all the males from any Neolithic settlements they could find, and carried off the women for reproduction and labor. That is just one of many examples. It didn’t take long for the Neolithic peoples to become extinct, but DNA from their females is still carried on in current populations.
But even in societies that don’t practice primogeniture, more parental resources get invested in the oldest offspring, both pre-birth and post-birth. The younger offspring are spares.
And it’s not limited to humans. Many bird species and others do it, too. (I mention birds because it was in a lecture I attended years ago on some bird study that we were shown a quick view of data from other species, including humans.)
Why didn’t Harry stay in the army? It seems that he enjoyed it and was good at it.
He met a woman who could cry on cue.
Can’t they all, pretty much?
I’m no sure that most women cry as an act.
I agree that if he really meant that he wanted a “normal” life, he should have given up the Sussex titles. He has said that he won’t do that. A cynical reading of that (who, me?) is that he’s making a passive-aggressive move directed at his father, the King, and would prefer that Charles be forced–through public opinion, which is quite strongly in favor of the move, to remove the titles–which are granted at the pleasure of the Sovereign–himself, thus further victimizing Harry and Meghan and reinforcing their case.
The other problem with doing that is that it doesn’t remove the “Prince” title from Harry, one which is was born with, and which can only be removed by an act of Parliament. There’s less public support for this, because tying up Parliament–which is doing a terrible job as it is at a time when the country is in deep economic trouble–with arcane debates about revisions to the 1917 Titles Deprivation Act, really isn’t on most Britons’ radar.
So depriving them of the Sussex titles would still leave them as “The Prince and Princess Henry” which doesn’t exactly seem like a downgrade. They do not use their HRH designator, at the request of the late Queen.
Harry and Meghan no longer get many royal perks. Frogmore Cottage is still theirs to use–at the King’s pleasure–when they are in the UK. They had to pay back the money that was used in taxpayer-funded renovations when they left the country. They don’t get any public monies or subsidized security anymore. Just about the only benefit they derive from the royal connection is the ability to milk its residue to the hilt among the gullible and those seeking reflected glory from a perceived connection British royalty. But (although Harry is threatening another revelatory book), sooner or later that has to run out of steam.
Overall, though, what’s most dispiriting about his book is how very trivial, self-obsessed, and vengeful it is. Over time, I can’t help but think that the banality of the accusations will be subsumed in public opinion under the venomous tirades and animus that Harry and his wife (who’s been strangely silent the last few weeks) continually display. While the royal family has its share of crackpots and unpleasant characters, the really ugly ones in this particular story are Harry and Meghan, and sooner or later, that’ll be clear.
He was pulled out of Afghanistan in 2008 or so after two combat tours because the news of his service in active combat was leaked on several news sites, including, I believe, French and US. The British press had agreed to keep the matter quiet and not reveal his location for security reasons. To the best of my knowledge, they held to that bargain.
I don’t think Harry wanted to stay in the military if he couldn’t do so on active duty.
That makes it even more unfortunate that he wrote, in detail, in his book about his “kills” of the Taliban, who are now quite enraged and threatening retaliation. Iran recently used his recounting as part of an excuse to have recently executed a dual-citizenship British-Iranian they accused of spying.
So the book has cost at least one life already.
Your article about sums up everything there is to say per the impression I have about Harry and Meagan! And the sad thing is… I would’ve bought the tea cup if I’d been in England for their wedding. Now I definitely won’t buy the book.
It’s a nuisance when you’re way inside Canyonlands National Park with a flat tire and your 50 mile spare is no good. And your ďaughter thinks the most important thing is to be somewhere where there is TV so she can watch the royal wedding (The Andrew/Sarah one).
Actually, our spare was good enough to get us to Moab, which was a little less than 50 miles away. They were slow miles, though.
And our daughter has now become Irish enough to have no special feelings for British royalty. As a good father, I sometimes reminisce about that trip to Canyonlands.
Generation woke love grievances. The more grievances, the higher you are on the woke pyramid.
I wonder how well the book is selling. It’s possible that the main purpose of the book is simply to make money. Prince Harry does have a bit of a money problem, doesn’t he? My recollection is that he was cut off, or semi-cut-off.
Meaghan did that.