Gender Confusion

 

Almost five years ago, Mrs. Pessimist rescued a tiny dog running between the cars at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru about a mile from our house. She opened her door and said, “Come here.” The dog was no dummy and leapt into our life.

She was a chihuahua mix breed that weighed less than four pounds but now she is a nine-pound fearless defender of her territory, which grows every day. She was about six months old and had not yet menstruated and so it came to pass that she was spayed or neutered as seemed to be appropriate.

When I walk her every day, she spends most of the walk deciding where to pee. She can’t seem to decide if she should squat or lift a leg. So instead she does a strange dance as she tries to decide where she ends up lifting both hind legs and balancing on her front two legs. I had never seen a dog do a headstand but that is the way that Tinker does it.

I don’t think she is nearly as confused as the typical liberal.

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  1. DonG (CAGW is a Scam) Coolidge
    DonG (CAGW is a Scam)
    @DonG

    What do you name a dog that you find at a donut shop?   “Fritter”?  “Jelly”?

    • #1
  2. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    DonG (CAGW is a Scam) (View Comment):

    What do you name a dog that you find at a donut shop? “Fritter”? “Jelly”?

    Cruller.

    • #2
  3. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Percival (View Comment):

    DonG (CAGW is a Scam) (View Comment):

    What do you name a dog that you find at a donut shop? “Fritter”? “Jelly”?

    Cruller.

    How about Jack?

    In the olden days, the High School had an “open lunch” policy which meant that Seniors, at least, could leave campus during lunch break.  You could go to a nearby store etc, or home if you lived close enough.

    There was a Dunkin’ Donuts nearby, and my favorite thing to get we just called a “lump” because it was a big lump of deep-fried donut batter, with glaze.  But it was bigger/heavier/more-filling, while costing the same as the other donuts, so the most cost-effective choice.

    Their actual name for it was the Buttermilk Jack.

    • #3
  4. Southern Pessimist Member
    Southern Pessimist
    @SouthernPessimist

    DonG (CAGW is a Scam) (View Comment):

    What do you name a dog that you find at a donut shop? “Fritter”? “Jelly”?

    Many people told us she should be named Dunkin but I think that would only add to her gender confusion. Originally we were working with the concept of tinkerbell or tinkertoy which seemed to fit her. Once my wife and I started to play pickleball, we thought about Dinker but it was too late by then.

    • #4
  5. Southern Pessimist Member
    Southern Pessimist
    @SouthernPessimist

    Sometimes I call her stinker but she seems to know the difference.

    • #5
  6. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Southern Pessimist: So instead she does a strange dance as she tries to decide where she ends up lifting both hind legs and balancing on her front two legs. I had never seen a dog do a head stand but that is the way that Tinker does it.

    I couldn’t stop laughing!! 

    • #6
  7. Marjorie Reynolds Coolidge
    Marjorie Reynolds
    @MarjorieReynolds

    You just reminded me of something .

    About 10 years ago, maybe more when I was still active on social media particularly with veterinary nursing groups, there was list of ridiculous questions from clients which was shared widely for the amusement of all. One was, if my dog gets neutered will he still be male? 
    We laughed at the time but little did anyone know the extent of this confusion over the basic facts of life. 

    • #7
  8. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Marjorie Reynolds (View Comment):

    You just reminded me of something .

    About 10 years ago, maybe more when I was still active on social media particularly with veterinary nursing groups, there was list of ridiculous questions from clients which was shared widely for the amusement of all. One was, if my dog gets neutered will he still be male?
    We laughed at the time but little did anyone know the extent of this confusion over the basic facts of life.

    Yes, and the trans stuff isn’t just about castration either. 

    • #8
  9. Eugene Kriegsmann Member
    Eugene Kriegsmann
    @EugeneKriegsmann

    Dogs do a lot of things that seem to be behaviors of the opposite sex. Largely it is because they are learners, very few things they do are actually hardwired into them. For instance, one of my Labs will scratch up the ground after pooping. I am convinced that she learned this from either her mother or her litter mates or her father who was a frequent visitor to the litter as they were growing towards the 6 week mark when their new owners would take them home. The other of my labs, from the same breeder, but actually part of the litter from which my younger dog’s mother came, has never done that at all. She was never exposed to any other dogs but those in her litter until I brought her home. Both of my girls are omegas in the hierarchical sense.

    Years ago I had a half lab/half Golden retriever who as a pup would occasional do the lifting of the leg trick, but abandoned it at a fairly early stage realizing that there was a better way to accomplish what she needed to do given her equipment. All of my dogs have been spayed before reaching six months. Neither of my two current dogs have ever humped me or each other. However my mixed breed female did occasionally use that behavior. Despite what some may think, that is not a sexual thing. It is a dominance thing. She was an alpha female who challenged my authority on a regular basis. If another dog came to visit and urinated in my yard, she would immediately go to the site  and urinate over that previous mark. That has nothing to do with sexual ambivalence. It is all about territory, and alphas, both male and female, are jealous of what they consider their terrain. I suspect that your little pup’s behavior had a lot more to do with her perceived relative status which has a lot more to do with genetics than perception of her sexuality.

    • #9
  10. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    That’s a great and happy story for a change! Please post a picture of her as well as the handstand (paw stand – excuse me)!

    • #10
  11. Charles Mark Member
    Charles Mark
    @CharlesMark

     

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Marjorie Reynolds (View Comment):

    You just reminded me of something .

    About 10 years ago, maybe more when I was still active on social media particularly with veterinary nursing groups, there was list of ridiculous questions from clients which was shared widely for the amusement of all. One was, if my dog gets neutered will he still be male?
    We laughed at the time but little did anyone know the extent of this confusion over the basic facts of life.

    Yes, and the trans stuff isn’t just about castration either.

    “Gender- affirming surgery” please.

    • #11
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