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Quote of the Day: Dying for Lack of an Encouraging Word
“It’s really something to see, constantly, how many people are dying for lack of an encouraging word. And how easy it is to provide that, if they’re careful, give credit where credit is due, and to say you’re a force for good if you want to be.” — Jordan Peterson
In a deeply moving interview, Jordan Peterson tearfully commented on the number of people he sees who are very disheartened about the lives they lead. And he pointed out that often people don’t bother to reach out to them, or don’t think to offer a word of encouragement and gratitude.
It’s so easy to get caught up in our own little worlds with the many demands that are made on our time. We’re given a difficult project and all our attention is focused on getting it done and doing it right; at work, we take our industrious workers for granted and forget to thank them for their efforts; when people perform beyond their usual limits, we don’t think to acknowledge the extra time and effort they put in. It’s no wonder that people begin to wonder if they have anything meaningful to contribute, or if they are appreciated at all.
No matter how self-assured and confident a person is, he or she needs to be acknowledged and appreciated. Life presents so many moments of discouragement and frustration, that we can feel buried by ugliness and darkness. So, we owe it to the people around us, our co-workers, family, and friends, to let them know that they are making a difference. That the phone call they made to check in on us warmed our hearts. That picking up our child at school truly mattered. That helping a widow to move her lanai furniture before a tornado was so valuable to her that she brought us a batch of cookies and a bottle of wine; she felt that words were simply not enough.
When was the last time you expressed your appreciation for your spouse? That you let them know how grateful you are for their support, their kindness, their help, their taking initiative? I think it can be especially easy to take a spouse for granted because . . . well, . . .they’re simply there.
So in this challenging world, let’s make a special effort in the new year to let people know that we treasure our relationships with them, that we are glad they are in our lives, and that they make a difference in the world.
Let’s be generous with an encouraging word.
Published in Group Writing
An encouraging word is so easily given and at no cost. Being pleasant to everyone until it is obvious that silence is the better course makes it possible that an “encouraging word” will be transmitted to someone in need. The bigger problem is the how barriers have been erected in the mind of someone needing an encouraging word, to receiving and processing it. If you have dealt with someone with significant mental health issues you know that an encouraging word does not automatically trigger a needed response. So Jordan’s quote is more of a metaphor for the general lack of caring that someone can feel. Acknowledging their very existence is important, but insufficient. We must be alert to those suffering around us that are vitally in need of connection and get them help. It may well be beyond your capabilities with a kind word. But that is always a start.
Do this very often. It will be one of your true regrets if g_d forbid you loose the opportunity to do it, because yes it is very easy to take a spouse for granted and very hard to express their true worth.
Beautifully said. I also find that people can be conditioned to reject a kind word. For years, my husband would discount compliments or thank yous, saying that it was nothing, or that it was no big deal. I finally encouraged him to simply respond, “thank you,” and he realized the importance of that response–for both of us. And with others.
My husband and I thank each other several times a day. And I never tire of giving it, or receiving it. Good advice, Raxxalan. I think I know where you’re coming from.
I love this. It reminded me of one of the very first things I ever posted after joining Ricochet (https://ricochet.com/853904/a-pre-covid-travel-vignette/).
Before Covid, I used to travel a lot for work (now everything is Zoom instead of travel – yay!), and one of the things I used to do during the war on terror, was to keep a stack of Starbucks gift cards in my computer bag. When I ran into military people in the airports, I would hand them one of those gift cards. It is shocking — really shocking — what a small act of encouragement can do.
What a terrific idea, Keith. Or maybe a gift card for Chick-fil-A!
One day my wife was walking into the house with a diaper bag over her shoulder, a baby in a the car seat carrier in one hand while trying to corral a toddler with her other hand. The old man next door yelled, “You’re doing a great job Mom!” Just a quick comment, but that was 15 years ago and my wife will still brings that up every now and then. You never know how far a kind word will go.
I give a little gift away everywhere I go, especially when flying. It works. The transformative power of a mere token of appreciation is staggering.
So true…
I’ve had the same experience with my husband. He didn’t think thank yous were necessary for small, routine tasks. But he has come around to hearing them and saying them.
Very important.
Fortunately Covid lasts a short time. When you got over it, did you go back to traveling a lot?
I am kidding wid choo ;-)
But I have a point to make.
The media, by constant repetition, have programmed all of us to repeat their propaganda language without thinking, and say that the greatest loss of human personal and economic freedom in American history was because of Covid.
It wasn’t.
How about a post on this, Mark? Were we experiencing the losses pre-Covid, and the virus exacerbated our isolation or highlighted it?
Totally agree. But just to be more clear about my personal situation, I have traveled the world with my work and even more intensely all over America. If I never take another business trip in my life, it will be too soon. I’m so happy to stay out of airports and off commercial airplanes (Satan’s spawn). So I realize that the Orcs have taken advantage of Covid for nefarious reasons, but I suspect all lovers of liberty have some level of aversion to collective forms of travel. I’m happy to be in my own car out on the open road. But if I am never subjected to another commercial plane flight, no one will be happier than I.
I mean that for two years, something or someone did stop tens of millions of Americans from
But when we say just who or what did that to us, we have been programmed to repeat the same lie that the media has from the very first day:
“It was Covid.”
The truth is that it was the government, their allies, and the millions of healthcare professionals and others who were intimidated into going along with the lie.
They did a lockdown.
Got it. What a tragic lie. But the answers are also complex and interwoven.
On this, we two true friends unfortunately will have disagree.
I think that not only that the government’s lockdown was the cause of these restrictions, but the government lockdown and these restrictions were the same thing.
America had had pandemics before, but never a lockdown. People were out of work for this upper respiratory virus infection, but that happens every year, and it has never been by government edict.
Fair enough. But what about how people responded to mandates and restrictions after the lockdowns? The paranoia, fear of contagion, insisting on masks, even the choice to not work because they might catch something? I think that the people are guilty of feeding their fear, refusing to look at the science, trusting the lying medical community. All of these had economic ramifications, too.
True.
All of this is true but we didn’t know that at the time. I trusted my doctor, and the CDC because I didn’t understand how corrupted they system had become. Now I don’t because of this experience. I may never trust them again. That is a real problem too, because ultimately I have to rely on someone with more expertise on these things to make sensible evidence based recommendations. I don’t have enough expertise in these things necessary to be able to balance all the complicating factors. It is profoundly disturbing, and I have no idea how to fix this. I don’t think our experts reckoned with the profound damage their betrayal would have to their profession.