Quote of the Day: ‘It Looks Like Christmas Threw Up All Over Your Living Room’

 

…were the words of a trenchant comment by one of my stepchildren a few decades ago. I remember them today, because–today–it actually does look like that. I don’t mind, and I don’t care.

Almost nine years ago, I posted the following, right here, under the title, Putting up the Christmas Tree:

Well, the Christmas tree at Chez She is finally up. It took a bit longer than usual this year, due to one thing and another (it seems that one thing, or the other, looms larger, and is more obstructive, for each year I grow older).  But anyway, it’s done.

I like decorating the Christmas tree.  Well, putting on the lights is a colossal PIA, and if anyone has a secret that fixes that, please do tell (no fair telling me to use a fake tree with the lights already attached. That’s just not cricket).

But, once the lights are on, I love getting out the decorations and putting them on.

You see, our decorations have been collected over the better part of forty years (with a few from long before that), and I love to remember, as I put them on the tree.

There are the remaining glass ornaments, with the ‘hand painted’ holly leaves on them, in a box that says they cost $4.99, that we bought for our first Christmas together, in nineteen-seventy-fump. That was the year we bought the $7 barrel-shaped Christmas tree from the sidewalk vendor in Pittsburgh’s South Side, because it was the only tree we could afford (I pass over the several years that we were reduced to stealing a tree, late Christmas Eve, from the piles dumped by the side of the road after everyone had gone home).  Most of our other decorations that year were the cardboard ones we cut out, or punched out, from the Dover Books “Victorian Ornaments” edition.  I still have those, too.

Then, there’s the little wooden soldier marionette that a graduate student gave to me in 1976.  Claire was her name.  She was from New York somewhere, and she was very bright, but a bit fragile.  I guess I was one of the few people who was kind to her, during her first semester at Duquesne University, and she gave me a Christmas present.  She didn’t come back in the New Year, and I don’t know what happened to her.  But I remember her every time I decorate the tree.

There’s the angel that Connie, my co-worker gave me, when I was learning to be a customer support representative for a word processing company all the way back in 1981.  And the many hand-made ornaments from Marge, the most creative person in Washington Hospital’s IT department, who must have spent weeks each December making each of her forty-odd (and I do mean odd) co-workers a special little gift. And many little wooly sheep, goats, and various other farm animal ornaments from friends and co-workers over the years.

The crocheted snowflakes that Andrea** gave us, that first Christmas.  A bit moth-eaten by now, it’s true, but lovely still.  And the bit of 1940’s tinsel from my mother-in-law (it’s probably full of lead).  And the pink rosebud blown glass ornament I bought one year just because it reminded me irresistibly of one on my grandmother’s tree, some fifty years ago.

And the beautiful bit of frippery, a pretty bird in a cage of ribbons and feathers, that my stepdaughter gave us, one Christmas that she was a penurious student herself. As well as the ornaments made by my stepson, Michael–those ones where you put plastic beads in a mold and melted them into shape in the oven.

Other ornaments remind me of Michael, too. His nickname was ‘Moose,’ so we have several moose (meese?) on the tree. Soft, cuddly ones. Glass ones. Wooden ones. Ones made out of some material like a flue brush. We lost Michael in 2002, but he’s here every year for Christmas, which he loved.

Not to mention the little wooden ducks that remind me of my childhood. Actually, Mr She would much prefer that I did not mention the little wooden ducks. So I won’t.

Still, my better self does love beautiful (expensive) handmade Christmas tree ornaments. And as the years have gone by, and as I’ve been able, I’ve bought quite a few. And I love them all.

But they don’t speak to me like the lumpy bits of plastic that don’t hang quite straight, or the finely crafted snowflakes with bits missing, or the cardboard circus animals with three remaining legs. I think it’s because like me, they’re not quite perfect, and they’re definitely showing their age. Or maybe it’s just because I cannot but remember.

So, Ricochetti.

What’s your favorite Christmas tree memory?

This year, I’m operating under an accelerated timetable, as I prepare for my R> open house the weekend of December 10.  But, as I do, I’m reminded that nothing much has changed, that I’ve not spent very much at all on Christmas decorations this year, or last year, or–in fact–in any particular year, but that those decorations are an accretion of my life, one I appreciate, and one which means a lot to me. (TBPC, I’ve bent on the concept of an artificial tree.  It just became too hard to try to get a live one through the door.  But I still struggle with the lights every single year.)

Last year, my most prized decoration came in the form of an ornament sent to me by the father (my brother) and the mother (what a gift she is!) of the most treasured and unexpected Christmas present I ever thought I’d receive.

I have a niece, born in July of 2021!

And here’s her handprint, decorated for Christmas as an English robin:

Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanukah to all.  Enjoy your cherished memories and–above all else–don’t let others take them from you.

**Andy died last month, on October 24, 2022. I have her cat. And–still, and I hope forever–her snowflake ornaments.  In addition to an immutable and unforgettable lifetime of memories.

I cannot but remember such things were that were most precious to me–Shakespeare, Macbeth

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  1. Not a Gubmint Spy Member
    Not a Gubmint Spy
    @OldDanRhody

    The title by itself deserves a “like.”

    • #1
  2. MarciN Member
    MarciN
    @MarciN

    She: I have a niece, born in July of 2021!

    Congratulations! Wondrous days ahead. :)

    • #2
  3. Justin Other Lawyer Coolidge
    Justin Other Lawyer
    @DouglasMyers

    I like decorating the Christmas tree.  Well, putting on the lights is a colossal PIA, and if anyone has a secret that fixes that, please do tell (no fair telling me to use a fake tree with the lights already attached. That’s just not cricket).

    I actually have a solution, but it’s just not practicable for everyone–marry someone with a great “artist’s eye” and have children that inherit the same gift.

    Many years ago, I was tasked with hanging lights on the tree and on our shrubs along the front walk.  With great care and effort, I completed the task.  Upon reviewing my work, my dear wife got a hearty laugh and proceeded to re-do the job (“correcting” the work was not really an available option).  Since that time, I am not permitted to hang the lights, unless it’s under the careful instruction of my bride.  Thankfully, our one daughter is quite capable in this regard, and she did a masterful job of hanging the lights on the tree this year.

    I’m available for more unhelpful advice pretty much any time.

    • #3
  4. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    … and then there was the year that the denizens of the lab all went a little crazy* and it looked  like Santa’s sleigh had crash landed into a Hallmark warehouse in there …


    * Relatively speaking.

    • #4
  5. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Our son’s description of our daughter-in-law’s bringing out the Christmas decorations is that Christmas exploded all over the house. As we left their house just before Thanksgiving, the explosion was just beginning. 

    • #5
  6. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    When our children were little, I described our tree as “dynamically decorated, ” as the children kept moving the ornaments (which was fine  with us – it was their tree too). The few fragile ornaments stayed out of reach on the upper branches.  Even today virtually all our tree ornaments are ones our children made, that we made, or that were given to us by special friends.  We still enjoy putting up the stuffed dove our then-cat was always knocking down and batting along the hallway 30 years ago. 

    • #6
  7. She Member
    She
    @She

    Not a Gubmint Spy (View Comment):

    The title by itself deserves a “like.”

    Yeah. My late stepson Sam was very good at that sort of thing. Decades ago, when it became evident that Mr. She was terribly allergic to many different food products, and while I was exploring—decades before it was fashionable—such things as soy alternatives, Sam dubbed one of my favorite online suppliers, “the cardboard food company.” Then he referred to the subsequent foods available, and my efforts to keep us all alive as “the Reichsdiet.” 

    Reflecting back in tranquility, as Wordsworth might say, it’s a bit amusing. But hard at the time.

    • #7
  8. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    We have been rather sporadic Christmas decorators over the years. Sometimes we have  taken an artificial tree and put it in a corner without the lower branches on the back so that it does not take up so much floor space. Some years we have not put up a tree. Sometimes it was a little table-top model with the lights already on it. Sometimes one of the daughters has initiated the decoration process, sometimes not. Now that we are truly empty-nesters, I find it difficult to get excited about decorating. Maybe when the first grand-daughter is old enough to know the difference, we will get up a little more enthusiasm for the project. 

    My favorite ornaments were made of construction paper with pictures of the kids glued on them. As I type this, I realize that I haven’t made any with the grandchildren yet, but I can. I just might.

    • #8
  9. She Member
    She
    @She

    She: **Andy died last month, on October 24, 2022. I have her cat. And–still, and I hope forever–her snowflake ornaments.  In addition to an immutable and unforgettable lifetime of memories.

    JoelB (View Comment):
    My favorite ornaments were made of construction paper with pictures of the kids glued on them. As I type this, I realize that I haven’t made any with the grandchildren yet, but I can. I just might.

    Oh, I hope you do!

    • #9
  10. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    We’ve given in this year. To an artificial tree, that is. It’s supposed to be here tomorrow. We’ll see. Decorating will start Sunday. Last year was our first real Christmas in this house. (We had moved from CA days before Christmas in 2020 and didn’t even have all the furniture!) Here is what it looked like:

    Yes, it was pretty. But we were dealing with a new tree vendor after years of routine with our old on in CA. In CA they brought the flocked tree all wrapped in plastic, opened up the plastic and  wrapped it around the stand I had provided them, then when it was time to dispose of, pulled the plastic up and around and drug it to the curb for the Boy Scouts to pick up — for a donation. Easy peasy and well practiced. No such luck with the new guys. Mess coming in and even more of a mess going out — and no Boy Scout pick up. So going with artificial and hoping that it will look decent enough. The photos online of customer decorations look good. And the convenience will be dramatic. But we’ll see.

    • #10
  11. BDB Inactive
    BDB
    @BDB

    Not a Gubmint Spy (View Comment):

    The title by itself deserves a “like.”

    Hark! the hurl.

    • #11
  12. BDB Inactive
    BDB
    @BDB

    She (View Comment):

    Not a Gubmint Spy (View Comment):

    The title by itself deserves a “like.”

    Yeah. My late stepson Sam was very good at that sort of thing. Decades ago, when it became evident that Mr. She was terribly allergic to many different food products, and while I was exploring—decades before it was fashionable—such things as soy alternatives, Sam dubbed one of my favorite online suppliers, “the cardboard food company.” Then he referred to the subsequent foods available, and my efforts to keep us all alive as “the Reichsdiet.”

    Reflecting back in tranquility, as Wordsworth might say, it’s a bit amusing. But hard at the time.

    Oh, the bittersweet family drama!

    • #12
  13. colleenb Member
    colleenb
    @colleenb

    Try to keep to Advent so an Advent wreath and big (fake) Advent candles that I put in the window. Small, old fake tree that was purchased because we almost always visited family out of town for Christmas. Tree and greenery can come out on Gaudete Sunday. Thanks for that suggestion/recommendation to Mollie Hemingway by the way. Other decorations as close to Christmas Eve as possible. Everything stays through the 12 days. I’m fairly minimalist although am thinking of a 2nd, smaller tree with only icon ornaments. But, oy, those fake trees can be expensive. Beautiful decorations She. Does your property have room to grow/cut your own tree?

    • #13
  14. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    She: What’s your favorite Christmas tree memory?

    Another fun one: For a few years when living near Rochester, New York we bought fresh trees from the auto junkyard. 

    Some decades earlier the owners of the junkyard (itself originally a side business for a farming family) planted a bunch of evergreen trees to form a visual fence around the junkyard. They planted spares for the eventuality that some of the fencing trees might die. Gradually they ended up with a surplus of spare trees and decided to sell them as Christmas trees. That went so well that they built a new business growing and selling Christmas trees. (Oh, and they organized the junkyard into a sophisticated auto recycling business, dismantling and parting out the cars in a systematic manner.)

    • #14
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