Why You Should Keep Saying Soccer

 

Real life, Twitter, TV, articles… this keeps coming up. I want to be clear. The game they are playing at odd hours on the corpses of immigrant workers far off in the desert is called soccer. No “in America” or “by Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, the Irish, Pakistanis, South Africans, Nigerians… et al.” clarification needed. The game is Association Football, shortened by weird Oxford students who add -er to the end of everything to Soccer Football and later just Soccer. The game falls under the same identifying umbrella as Rugby Football, Gaelic Football, American Football, Australian Rule Football, and Hockey (field for certain – I’m not sure about ice.)

No sane person has a problem with anyone calling the game football in a context that makes it clear which of the many games you are referring to that are encompassed by the word. The British can say football all they want, knowing that those around them understand what is being referenced is the type of football known as Association Football, just as I casually use the word football to refer to the American Football type in which Alabama just beat Alabama Polytechnical Institute 49 to 27. I do have a problem when some East End denizen thousands of miles away gets a bee in his trunk or a local hipster with a crisp on his shoulder and a copy of Proust sitting on his night table that he’s started six times gets high and mighty because I or someone else is more specific than he wants to be.

Twitter is fun. In a recent exchange, there were those who said that American Football isn’t football at all since the players rarely kick the ball. Per that horde, it should be called some variation of Handsy-Eggball-with-Pads. They also claimed that soccer should be called football because “Duh!” and then offered something along these lines that were shared by a British tweeter: “It’s rather aptly named since it’s a game predominantly played with feet, in contrast to American football, which is predominantly carried around in the arms of players wearing giant shoulder pads.” The shape of the ball has nothing to do with the name of the game. Neither does the part of the body used to handle or make contact with the ball. We have British accounts of late 18th and early 19th century games called football where it was Illegal to contact the ball with the foot.

The Brits need to know that the reason there is a class of games referred to as football is because those games are not played on horses. Duh!

It’s that simple. The aristocracy formed the horsey set, and they played at jousting and polo and probably all manner of other activities. The poor people didn’t have that option. I don’t know that it was taboo for the wealthy to play non-equestrian sports, but the sense I got from reading is that these sports you had to play on your own two feet were looked down on. That’s it. Ruggers and Gaelic and Hockey (maybe the first, as it’s pretty much polo without the animal) are all sports played on one’s feet. Again, in context, calling a game football works since I already suspect which set of rules is meant but literally saying that a game is called football is akin to saying that a game is called horseless sport. (If I’m being literal, I’ll concede that since horses are measured in hands and hands are used to measure horses, football is a game without using hands. I’ll give them that.)

There you are. Enjoy the World Cup, and while you’re at it, ask a British person why they still call Rugby “Rugby.” Oh! Also be sure and mention that Bobby Charlton of the 1966 English World Cup winning team, their national hero who slew the dragon and waits under a great green hill to rise again when England is in greatest peril, titled his 1964 book My Soccer Life (He bowed to peer pressure in 2009 when he released My Life in Football.)

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  1. Marjorie Reynolds Coolidge
    Marjorie Reynolds
    @MarjorieReynolds

    Misthiocracy has never (View Comment):

    Marjorie Reynolds (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    EJHill+ (View Comment):

    I watched the match vs England. Who knew the English sucked at that as much as we do?

    I personally do not see the attraction of “the beautiful game.” Enthusiasts will wax poetic about a nil-nil tie and then tell me a 1-0 baseball game is “boring.” Wut?

    I also do not understand how, in this day and age, why soccer can not keep an accurate clock in the stadium. There should be no surprise stoppage time. If the referee stops the clock, stop the damn clock. </rant>

    I’ve watched some of the various sportsball games on TV in Ireland when we’ve gone to visit our daughter. It seems to me that we once watched soccer, or whatever they call it over there. One good thing about the games was the relatively non-stop action without commercial interruptions. It meant the matches were finished quickly.

    I don’t like the almost cult like devotion to GAA clubs that exists here but I have to say there’s no game like Hurling.

    https://youtu.be/eCZjSUAbzcU

    The reason I’ve picked this old match is my cousin is featured and scores near the end of it.

    Also the jerseys looked better before they started printing their sponsor’s names on them.

    Lacrosse players watch that video and think, “real men don’t need a goal that large.”

    Well when the thing you’re propelling the ball with is the size of a butterfly net it probably doesn’t have to be😁
    Anyway, scores over the crossbar are only worth 1 point, a goal is worth 3.

    • #61
  2. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    • #62
  3. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Isn’t it still true that young people have more frequent and more serious injuries playing soccer than football?

    Biological female soccer players have more (and more) serious injuries. 

    • #63
  4. Misthiocracy has never Member
    Misthiocracy has never
    @Misthiocracy

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Isn’t it still true that young people have more frequent and more serious injuries playing soccer than football?

    I once read that soccer players have the most brain injuries, due to the frequent “heading” of the ball.

    However, unlike sports where brain injuries come from less frequent but more violent impacts (football, boxing, etc), soccer players’ cognitive function tends to bounce back after they stop playing soccer.

    I have no citation to back up the claim.

    • #64
  5. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    kedavis (View Comment):

    DaveSchmidt (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    JoelB (View Comment):

    I never made the association of games played on horseback as opposed to games played on foot. This is a nice little bit of history and the formation of our language. I like that kind of thing.

    Doesn’t that mean that basketball, baseball, tennis, volleyball… are all “football?”

    Meanwhile, it does seem odd that “American Football” only uses the feet very rarely, for kicking.

    And running.

    I meant in terms of feet and the ball, to justify the name “football.”

    In “American football” the foot is rarely in contact with the ball. In that sense, “Soccer” deserves the name “football” more than “American football” does.

    The problem is that the word “soccer” is a more appropriate term for the game, given the variation of the root word “suck” . . .

    • #65
  6. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    “Association football” is the origin of the term soccer. “Soccer” as a word originates in England and refers to a version of the game played under an organizing body. “Soccer” (the word) migrated here well after the game.

    Really, @stad , that’s some analytical breakdown. You don’t like it. We understood this from your previous comments.

     

    • #66
  7. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    They loved sports, played everything (and excelled at much of it), and athletics formed a huge part of their social lives and their activities.

    It completely changed my appreciation for high-school sports, and I’m glad they had the opportunity to experience it.

    Henry, As a coach I didn’t covet athleticism, I wanted smart players. The talented athlete at age 12 tends to become the talented benchwarmer a few years later because they rely on it too much and do not develop foot skills or decision making ability.

    Soccer players are autonomous actors for long stretches of time on the field so being smart and making good decisions makes you stand out more than running fast. Ideally you have both, but the intelligence is more important. 

    Sometimes the less gifted are much more driven as well. That makes them more teachable. Every coach loves that.

    I could go on, but it’s just me reveling in some of the things I saw players achieve by playing smart. That’s when you get the “better than the sum of their parts” thing working.

    I bet your kids were excellent contributors to their teams.

    • #67
  8. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Chris O (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    They loved sports, played everything (and excelled at much of it), and athletics formed a huge part of their social lives and their activities.

    It completely changed my appreciation for high-school sports, and I’m glad they had the opportunity to experience it.

    Henry, As a coach I didn’t covet athleticism, I wanted smart players. The talented athlete at age 12 tends to become the talented benchwarmer a few years later because they rely on it too much and do not develop foot skills or decision making ability.

    Soccer players are autonomous actors for long stretches of time on the field so being smart and making good decisions makes you stand out more than running fast. Ideally you have both, but the intelligence is more important.

    Sometimes the less gifted are much more driven as well. That makes them more teachable. Every coach loves that.

    I could go on, but it’s just me reveling in some of the things I saw players achieve by playing smart. That’s when you get the “better than the sum of their parts” thing working.

    I bet your kids were excellent contributors to their teams.

    What are your thoughts on college sports that are said to develop leadership, and which have the coach micromanaging the team by calling in every play from the sidelines?  

    • #68
  9. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Chris O (View Comment):

    “Association football” is the origin of the term soccer. “Soccer” as a word originates in England and refers to a version of the game played under an organizing body. “Soccer” (the word) migrated here well after the game.

    Really, @ stad , that’s some analytical breakdown. You don’t like it. We understood this from your previous comments.

     

    Gee, I was just making a joke . . .

    • #69
  10. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    What are your thoughts on college sports that are said to develop leadership, and which have the coach micromanaging the team by calling in every play from the sidelines?

    I think coaches are about coaches and they are protective of their “mysticism.” Coaches develop people to the extent that it drives team ethic and ambition, and perhaps a bit more through example.

    Besides, it’s the player who decides what he or she wants from a program. People don’t change or develop or mature unless they want to or circumstances require it.

    The best a coach can do is demonstrate leadership qualities. It’s amazing how many bad coaches are out there, and a few were truly horrid examples to their players.

    To me, it’s about teaching and part of it is teaching how to win. The lessons there are applicable everywhere. Maybe some of those college programs consider it, but from the outside it looks like it’s mainly a recruiting contest.

    Sorry, @stad , failed to read it that way, so the comment probably reflected my mood in the moment.

    • #70
  11. Headedwest Coolidge
    Headedwest
    @Headedwest

    Chris O (View Comment):

    Ah, Ricochet seems significantly less hostile than the first comments on a Peter Robinson post years ago.

    I just love it. I played youth league soccer from age 7, its first year in our town, up to the amateur league level at age 37, and a few more years indoors. Somewhere in there I became a high school head coach as well. The relentlessness, the quick decisions, the physicality, the surprises, shutting down opposing strikers, winning, but, most of all, it’s the team thing.

    I imagine it is fun to play. It’s just visually boring. And the incredibly stupid and transparent flops don’t help.

    To me, soccer looks like slow motion, boring, and futile ice hockey.

    • #71
  12. Headedwest Coolidge
    Headedwest
    @Headedwest

    https://twitter.com/RudyHavenstein/status/1598011357693378562/video/1

    • #72
  13. Justin Other Lawyer Coolidge
    Justin Other Lawyer
    @DouglasMyers

    Headedwest (View Comment):

    Chris O (View Comment):

    Ah, Ricochet seems significantly less hostile than the first comments on a Peter Robinson post years ago.

    I just love it. I played youth league soccer from age 7, its first year in our town, up to the amateur league level at age 37, and a few more years indoors. Somewhere in there I became a high school head coach as well. The relentlessness, the quick decisions, the physicality, the surprises, shutting down opposing strikers, winning, but, most of all, it’s the team thing.

    I imagine it is fun to play. It’s just visually boring. And the incredibly stupid and transparent flops don’t help.

    To me, soccer looks like slow motion, boring, and futile ice hockey.

    Although I don’t agree, the Twitter link in your next post is, in fact, pretty funny. 

    • #73
  14. Chris O Coolidge
    Chris O
    @ChrisO

    Headedwest (View Comment):

    https://twitter.com/RudyHavenstein/status/1598011357693378562/video/1

    Yeah, there are certain types of players that don’t really go in for this, like the ones called Americans, generally speaking. Sargent seemed to hyperextend his knee when he went down in the Iran game, and Pulisic suffered a contusion as a result of colliding with the ‘keeper when he scored. But, yes, I’ve played against those guys, and most of them were brought up in other sporting cultures. I recall one team being banned from a local indoor league because of excessive efforts like this. Well, banned for taking dives, then getting up and trying to kick you in the calves when the ref wasn’t looking.

    • #74
  15. Misthiocracy has never Member
    Misthiocracy has never
    @Misthiocracy

    • #75
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