Quote of the Day: Gratitude

 

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” — Doris Day

Yes, Thanksgiving is in the rearview mirror, but it is still worth considering its message: giving thanks for what we have; being grateful.  It is also worth considering gratitude’s flip side: ingratitude, which mostly comes out in the form of complaint.

I find the older I get, the more I focus on the good things in my life rather than the bad things. It does not have to be that way. I know plenty of old people who find more things to grump about as they grow older. It is not that I don’t have things in my life to complain about. It is just that I find more joy in focusing on the things that went right rather than the things that went wrong.

Yes, my wife died nearly five years ago and I miss her badly. But that union gave me three sons that turned into three fine men who have good careers and great families (including giving me three grandchildren — so far). From loss came gain. I prefer to look at the gain.

I may not have gone as far in my career as some of my elementary school classmates. (One of which was Ken Burns. My best friend from Burns Park became a vice president at the World Bank.) My career was satisfactory, however. I was part of the Shuttle program, navigating Shuttle missions, and am now helping build the Lunar Gateway. I may not have written that best-selling book that made me nationally famous as I had hoped in my teen years. I have had more than 40 books published, and am still producing four a year.

My house may not be as fancy as many. Nor is it in a fashionable neighborhood. Yet it is paid for, fits my needs, and is comfortable. I could ask for more, but what does that give me besides grief? As Ms Day observes, I am rich in many ways.

Or I could go down the path of complaint. Others have done better than me. Others live in better houses. I have aches and pains. I don’t have it all. Life isn’t perfect. Down the road of complaint lies spiritual poverty.

When friends ask how I am doing, I often respond, “Can’t complain. Wouldn’t do me any good if I did.”  They often miss the point of that statement. Sometimes they even laugh and jokingly tell me, “sure, you can. It might even make you feel better.” Except I have never found that complaining ever does make me feel better. It does not do me any good. It often makes people forced to listen to complaining feel worse. I know some enjoy dragging other down to their level of misery, but I do not.

In truth, I find people who endlessly complain tiresome. Anyone can give up. That is easy. I agree with Robert Service: to fight and to fight when hope’s out of sight — Why, that’s the best game of them all!

That isn’t to say I am not grateful for people who constantly complain. I am. Their constant complaining serves as a form of navigational hazard warning. I know who to stay away from.

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  1. Some Call Me ...Tim Coolidge
    Some Call Me ...Tim
    @SomeCallMeTim

    Words to live by.  Thank you for writing this post.  

    • #1
  2. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    Such a great post sir.  You are exactly right….anyone can complain, it’s the easy path and will only serve to make you feel worse.  Thanks for posting.  

    By the way, your life and career seems pretty darn impressive to me!  

    • #2
  3. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Concretevol (View Comment):
    By the way, your life and career seems pretty darn impressive to me!  

    And yours isn’t? I have always been impressed by it. 

    One thing about what I do. I am always in a supporting role along with tens of thousands of other. It is like my dad’s service in WWII. He was attached to the 82nd Airborne. Sounds impressive, but he was in a battalion signal corp unit, well behind the lines. But he wasn’t jump qualified, nor did he ever do a combat entry on a glider.  He was there, the work was important, but he never came within sight of the enemy. 

    • #3
  4. Happy Grandma Lincoln
    Happy Grandma
    @jam

    Seawriter: my wife died nearly five years ago and I miss her badly.

    I recently married a widower. His former wife has been gone about 12 years. When we met, I’m not sure he was really ready to date (don’t tell him I said that! lol). But he got ready as time went on. We’re really happy together. Have you considered dating again? I bet you have a lot to offer the right woman. 

    • #4
  5. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Happy Grandma (View Comment):
    Have you considered dating again?

    Actually, yes. I have been. 

    • #5
  6. RushBabe49 Thatcher
    RushBabe49
    @RushBabe49

    Great post, as usual, and I absolutely agree.  Isn’t it good to go to a store and say to yourself, “I don’t need any of that stuff”?  I have been finding it difficult to make up a Christmas “wish list” for Ray, since I really do have everything I need.  New car (paid for with cash), house fully paid-for, friends, Hubby, backyard full of birds year-round.  And most important, I have my Ricochet Family, a far better one than my family of origin which cast me out.

    • #6
  7. Bob Thompson Member
    Bob Thompson
    @BobThompson

    Seawriter:

    “Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” — Doris Day

    Yes, Thanksgiving is in the rearview mirror, but it is still worth considering its message: giving thanks for what we have; being grateful.  It is also worth considering gratitude’s flip side: ingratitude, which mostly comes out in the form of complaint.

    Great post following Thanksgiving. I already outlined my great Thanksgiving Day in another post. Isn’t it interesting how ungrateful humans can be at times? Oh, my military service was also in support of the 82nd Airborne. I was in the artillery and we were ready to go to Cuba in 1962 but the 82nd would need to get us a landing field. I’m thankful they didn’t need to do that.

    Can animals show gratitude?  We once had 4 feral cats on our property when we lived in Utah before. While we were away for 4 years in Arizona our daughter had them migrate to her next door property. Only one is left, he’s the male that lost a paw in a cougar trap several years ago and he has never been friendly at all but always would show up for food when my wife rang the bell. In the old days all 4 would show. So recently we have been going over to my daughter’s house every evening, ring the bell, and he will come for a meal. But we did not show up 2 days over Thanksgiving because we were away.

    So, yesterday, we went over, rang the bell, and I waited a few minutes and the he showed. What was interesting is that when he saw me, he was maybe 20 yards away, he stopped, rolled on his back back and forth in the dirt driveway for about 2 or 3 minutes, and then continued to where my wife was placing the food. He had never done this before. I thought maybe he was showing gratitude. Anyone know what those gestures mean?

    • #7
  8. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    Nothing much to add.

    I like the important reminder that we don’t have to end our Thanks Giving on the day after the day.

    Gratitude puts a smile on the face, a spring in the step, and a bit of warmth in the heart.

    People react accordingly. Then the smile is a bit bigger and the warmth in one’s heart can flow out even further.

    A form of free energy, regardless of any naysayers.

     

    • #8
  9. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    A great post, Seawriter. I can only add a quote from the great G.K. Chesterton: “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

    • #9
  10. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    You mentioned losing your wife five years ago – I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my husband a little over a year ago and I will admit that that great loss was a serious challenge to any feelings and thoughts of gratitude and thanks-giving. But I have tried to focus on the great life we had together, and to be thankful and grateful that I got to spend 35+ years being married to my wonderful, talented, witty best friend. 

    • #10
  11. Bob Thompson Member
    Bob Thompson
    @BobThompson

    Seawriter:

    That isn’t to say I am not grateful for people who constantly complain. I am. Their constant complaining serves as a form of navigational hazard warning. I know who to stay away from.

    I wonder if some of this is generational. My parents were in the “greatest generation” and I am from the “silent generation”.

    During my lifetime America prevailed in WWII, rebuilt itself along with assisting Japan, Germany, and Western Europe to do the same, then turned attention to the chore of assuring equal opportunity for all led by MLK. Most all of this required more work than talk.

    I cannot recall ever complaining or expressing dismay at the specific circumstances of my life situation and even though I’m concerned about current developments in the cultural and political arenas, I am personally thankful for all I have experienced in my lifetime. I pray for forgiveness for all the times I have acted inappropriately to others, knowingly or otherwise.

    • #11
  12. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    I’ve been hobbling around with pretty bad fasciitis in my left foot for a week or two. In fact, yesterday I came down the stairs on my bum to avoid stepping on it. I find myself thanking God my right foot doesn’t feel the same!

    Also, I have arthritis in my thumbs, but especially the left* one. It makes it difficult to open jars and such — nearly impossible if two hands are required — but, I find myself thanking Jesus that my right thumb still works and isn’t painful.

    So, it seems possible to remain thankful even in the midst of suffering, although it’s harder with my kids’ suffering. Even then, I think to myself, “God must love you very much to let you suffer so.” 

    *I’m realizing that my entire body rejects leftism. Everything from cancer to kidney afflicts me on the left side. 

    • #12
  13. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    Western Chauvinist (View Comment):

    I’ve been hobbling around with pretty bad fasciitis in my left foot for a week or two. In fact, yesterday I came down the stairs on my bum to avoid stepping on it. I find myself thanking God my right foot doesn’t feel the same!

    Also, I have arthritis in my thumbs, but especially the left* one. It makes it difficult to open jars and such — nearly impossible if two hands are required — but, I find myself thanking Jesus that my right thumb still works and isn’t painful.

    So, it seems possible to remain thankful even in the midst of suffering, although it’s harder with my kids’ suffering. Even then, I think to myself, “God must love you very much to let you suffer so.”

    *I’m realizing that my entire body rejects leftism. Everything from cancer to kidney afflicts me on the left side.

    Hah! The Left destroys everything, to be sure. Thanks, WC, for an inspiring contribution. 

    • #13
  14. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Bob Thompson (View Comment):
    I wonder if some of this is generational. My parents were in the “greatest generation” and I am from the “silent generation”.

    I am a late Boomer as was my wife. I’ve noticed complainers among the Boomers. I have also noticed them among the Greatest Generation, Gen X, Gen Y and Millenials. I have also noticed those that are grateful in all generations, as well. I doubt it is a generational thing. Rather, it is an individual thing. You have to measure each person individually.

    • #14
  15. Painter Jean Moderator
    Painter Jean
    @PainterJean

    Seawriter (View Comment):

    Bob Thompson (View Comment):
    I wonder if some of this is generational. My parents were in the “greatest generation” and I am from the “silent generation”.

    I am a late Boomer as was my wife. I’ve noticed complainers among the Boomers. I have also noticed them among the Greatest Generation, Gen X, Gen Y and Millenials. I have also noticed those that are grateful in all generations, as well. I doubt it is a generational thing. Rather, it is an individual thing. You have to measure each person individually.

    I would agree with this, Seawriter. I’m late Boomer as well, and have seen complainers as well as the grateful in my age cohort and in all others. I would guess that one possible divide might be between the religious and non-religious, as gratitude is actively fostered in the former.

    • #15
  16. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Painter Jean (View Comment):
    I would guess that one possible divide might be between the religious and non-religious, as gratitude is actively fostered in the former.

    Didn’t think of that, but on reflection, there is something to that.

    • #16
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