Some Martha’s Vineyard Math

 

MEMO
TO: Martha’s Vineyard Humanitarian Crisis Committee
From:  Chad Vorhees IV
Re: Those new people from Florida

I did some calculations and while I don’t want to let down the side, I think we need to understand how we may be hoist on our own petard with the whole welcome-we-are-super-tolerant thing we let the activist types promulgate.  If you recall, I spoke out against this kind of open-ended signaling stuff and said we should stick to issues like whales or polar bears or starving African kids where we could write some modest checks and be done with it.

Here is what some wag may throw in our faces:

There have been a reported 2,000,000 illegal migrants in the recent surges (total illegals here already is certainly a multiple of that but let’s go with the most recent Biden-induced numbers).

Martha’s Vineyard has a population of 15,000.
The USA population is 332,000,000
The Vineyard’s share of new illegals is therefore 90.34.

People may point out that if the richest community in the US cannot handle a little over half of its share of illegals (50), what can the rest of them be expected to do?  Blah, blah.  Throw in the 26 homeless that comprise our allotted share of the national homeless population if it comes to that. Are we ready to spend to build a compound for 116 people who–let’s be honest–are not our sort at all?

If we are ultimately stuck with “our share” there should also be a modest clothing allowance so none of them are seen wearing white after Labor Day (God forbid someone has to say something to one of them!), maybe some used tennis rackets to carry so as to make them look reassuringly indigenous to visitors who likely can’t tell the difference.  Donate some sweaters and have them tie the sleeves around the shoulders.  And toss in a collection of last year’s boating wear.

Seriously now, if we really had to do it, how hard could it be?  Let Muffy and Babs run a committee or something, they love projects like that and they can find and hire the people who do this sort of thing–so we don’t have to.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 15 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Ole Summers Member
    Ole Summers
    @OleSummers

    Someone (think it was The Federalist) ran a story this morning on the top 12 places to stay in The Vineyard. Most of the rent-an-evening estates could handle 8-12 guests and although the most expensive was $20,000 a night, most ran in the much more reasonable range or 5000 to 6000 per evening. One was a bargain-priced $1750. But I am sure it is on the wrong side of the island and probably far too far from the water!

    I was hoping that the superior compassion among the locals would compel them to cut their rates in half for to keep as many of the new arrivals as possible in the community for the sake of diversity – but it appears there were more “openings” at a military base. I guess they weren’t overbooked for the season like Vineyard residents. 

    • #1
  2. Paul Stinchfield Member
    Paul Stinchfield
    @PaulStinchfield

    Old Bathos: From:  Chad Vorhees IV

    See Iowahawk’s hilarious series of political satires, penned by the fictional T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII, the first titled As a Conservative, I Must Say I Do Quite Like the Cut of this Obama Fellow’s Jib and the last titled Together, I Shall Ride You To Victory.

    • #2
  3. DonG (CAGW is a Scam) Coolidge
    DonG (CAGW is a Scam)
    @DonG

    Small towns in Texas are expected to accommodate a number of illegal immigrants equal to their towns population.   That is 1:1.  That is 100%.   Hey, Martha’s Vineyard are due another 19,950 dream seekers just to keep up with poor towns.  With all their money, 10X would seem just.  

    • #3
  4. Old Bathos Moderator
    Old Bathos
    @OldBathos

    Paul Stinchfield (View Comment):

    Old Bathos: From: Chad Vorhees IV

    See Iowahawk’s hilarious series of political satires, penned by the fictional T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII, the first titled As a Conservative, I Must Say I Do Quite Like the Cut of this Obama Fellow’s Jib and the last titled Together, I Shall Ride You To Victory.

    I had a brief email exchange with that great man about one of those gems. The name in this post was inspired by Van Voorhees.

    • #4
  5. Al French Moderator
    Al French
    @AlFrench

    A fairer way to distribute the illegals would be to send them to only sanctuary jurisdictions. That would at least double MV’s share.

    • #5
  6. Paul Stinchfield Member
    Paul Stinchfield
    @PaulStinchfield

    DonG (CAGW is a Scam) (View Comment):

    Small towns in Texas are expected to accommodate a number of illegal immigrants equal to their towns population. That is 1:1. That is 100%. Hey, Martha’s Vineyard are due another 19,950 dream seekers just to keep up with poor towns. With all their money, 10X would seem just.

    Martha’s Vineyard will not have its fair share until illegal immigrants are breaking into homes, building campfires on the living room carpets, and defecating on the beds. Not to mention threatening to shoot the homeowners. (These are all things that have been happening on the Southern border for many years.)

    • #6
  7. Paul Stinchfield Member
    Paul Stinchfield
    @PaulStinchfield

    Old Bathos (View Comment):

    Paul Stinchfield (View Comment):

    Old Bathos: From: Chad Vorhees IV

    See Iowahawk’s hilarious series of political satires, penned by the fictional T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII, the first titled As a Conservative, I Must Say I Do Quite Like the Cut of this Obama Fellow’s Jib and the last titled Together, I Shall Ride You To Victory.

    I had a brief email exchange with that great man about one of those gems. The name in this post was inspired by Van Voorhees.

    Also a true gem: Dial M for Maternity.

    • #7
  8. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    To give you an idea of how racist the island is: it has functioned very happily for the last 30 years absorbing (largely) Brazilian illegals (even so far as to help them buy houses when they don’t have income documentation) AND accommodating a consistent and predictable traffic in illegal drugs for the Trustifarians to buy from. (That started in the ‘60/70’s with the wash ashore newly wealthy hippies like John Belushi and the children of the conventional Wall Street and publishing families there since the ‘30’s. They made Doing Dope Great Again.)

    They like their (pet) illegals doing their roofing, painting, landscaping, housekeeping, setting up ethnic restaurants that last a couple of seasons. They don’t like multi unit housing, smaller minimum lot sizes, too many over sand stickers issued to too many visitors and too much nitrogen in the ponds from septic systems. They do like having large amounts of conservation areas around their estate lots (with life reservations) so nothing will be built nearby and nonresident owners supporting very high school budgets because they can’t vote in town elections. And they still like the idea of mandatory masks in close areas, and maybe sometimes outside like in the Tabernacle. 

    Mostly they do not like life in their bubble bothered. The absence of self awareness cannot be measured. 1 person from MV signed the Petition to put on the November ballot the question to reverse the (recent) legislative decision to issue drivers’ licenses to illegals. 1. 

    • #8
  9. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Ole Summers (View Comment):

    Someone (think it was The Federalist) ran a story this morning on the top 12 places to stay in The Vineyard. Most of the rent-an-evening estates could handle 8-12 guests and although the most expensive was $20,000 a night, most ran in the much more reasonable range or 5000 to 6000 per evening. One was a bargain-priced $1750. But I am sure it is on the wrong side of the island and probably far too far from the water!

    I was hoping that the superior compassion among the locals would compel them to cut their rates in half for to keep as many of the new arrivals as possible in the community for the sake of diversity – but it appears there were more “openings” at a military base. I guess they weren’t overbooked for the season like Vineyard residents.

    Don’t forget to budget the 10% cut for the “Big Guy.”

    • #9
  10. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    EODmom (View Comment):

    To give you an idea of how racist the island is: it has functioned very happily for the last 30 years absorbing (largely) Brazilian illegals (even so far as to help them buy houses when they don’t have income documentation) AND accommodating a consistent and predictable traffic in illegal drugs for the Trustifarians to buy from. (That started in the ‘60/70’s with the wash ashore newly wealthy hippies like John Belushi and the children of the conventional Wall Street and publishing families there since the ‘30’s. They made Doing Dope Great Again.)

    They like their (pet) illegals doing their roofing, painting, landscaping, housekeeping, setting up ethnic restaurants that last a couple of seasons. They don’t like multi unit housing, smaller minimum lot sizes, too many over sand stickers issued to too many visitors and too much nitrogen in the ponds from septic systems. They do like having large amounts of conservation areas around their estate lots (with life reservations) so nothing will be built nearby and nonresident owners supporting very high school budgets because they can’t vote in town elections. And they still like the idea of mandatory masks in close areas, and maybe sometimes outside like in the Tabernacle.

    Mostly they do not like life in their bubble bothered. The absence of self awareness cannot be measured. 1 person from MV signed the Petition to put on the November ballot the question to reverse the (recent) legislative decision to issue drivers’ licenses to illegals. 1.

    That’s why the Obamas chose to purchase a multi-million dollar estate there – of course!  It goes well with the other MacMansions in DC and Hawaii.  I thought ex-presidents go back to Texas or California  – they’re old stomping grounds, and lay low with charities and hobbies.  The Obamas must of hated Chicago…..the library isn’t even done.  Hmmm…..does O want to stay close to his community organizing roots, i.e. 2020 election……cough……and other political influencers? That might be his new title – he hung up the old one of community organizer…..

    Don’t forget the petitions from the Kennedys – no windmill farms off Cape Cod to spoil the view.  These Southern border governors are on to something…….

    • #10
  11. Unsk Member
    Unsk
    @Unsk

    But isn’t it all about fairness? 

    Very apropos post. A minor  quibble: I believe the latest figures  in the amount   of “undocumented” crossing our borders during the reign of our current    wondrous  Supreme Leader are closer to 5 million not 2. So an update on your calc would make Martha’s  Vineyard fair share minimum closer to 225. 

    But in the absolutely moral necessary and quest for Social Justice, I think we would all agree some modifying factors should apply to the island since  Martha Vineyard’s average family income is double that of the US and the number of Latinos is only 1/10th that of the rest of America by percentage  and the number of those below the poverty line is less than 40% of average.   I would suggest factors of 2x for income, 10x for race and 2.5 times for poverty or a total factor of 50 be applied to the appropriate number of  illegals shipped to Martha’s Vineyard or a number like 225 x 50 = 11,250 people .  So Yes,  I think 11,250 illegals shipped to Martha’s Vineyard would be most equitable in our very and most noble pursuit of fairness.  Don’t you think?

    • #11
  12. EODmom Coolidge
    EODmom
    @EODmom

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):

    EODmom (View Comment):

    To give you an idea of how racist the island is: it has functioned very happily for the last 30 years absorbing (largely) Brazilian illegals (even so far as to help them buy houses when they don’t have income documentation) AND accommodating a consistent and predictable traffic in illegal drugs for the Trustifarians to buy from. (That started in the ‘60/70’s with the wash ashore newly wealthy hippies like John Belushi and the children of the conventional Wall Street and publishing families there since the ‘30’s. They made Doing Dope Great Again.)

    They like their (pet) illegals doing their roofing, painting, landscaping, housekeeping, setting up ethnic restaurants that last a couple of seasons. They don’t like multi unit housing, smaller minimum lot sizes, too many over sand stickers issued to too many visitors and too much nitrogen in the ponds from septic systems. They do like having large amounts of conservation areas around their estate lots (with life reservations) so nothing will be built nearby and nonresident owners supporting very high school budgets because they can’t vote in town elections. And they still like the idea of mandatory masks in close areas, and maybe sometimes outside like in the Tabernacle.

    Mostly they do not like life in their bubble bothered. The absence of self awareness cannot be measured. 1 person from MV signed the Petition to put on the November ballot the question to reverse the (recent) legislative decision to issue drivers’ licenses to illegals. 1.

    That’s why the Obamas chose to purchase a multi-million dollar estate there – of course! It goes well with the other MacMansions in DC and Hawaii. I thought ex-presidents go back to Texas or California – they’re old stomping grounds, and lay low with charities and hobbies. The Obamas must of hated Chicago…..the library isn’t even done. Hmmm…..does O want to stay close to his community organizing roots, i.e. 2020 election……cough……and other political influencers? That might be his new title – he hung up the old one of community organizer…..

    Don’t forget the petitions from the Kennedys – no windmill farms off Cape Cod to spoil the view. These Southern border governors are on to something…….

    I’m pretty sure it’s to stay in touch with the very big money donor crowd. Michele didn’t like it much – it’s for sure not city. And the water is not even as warm as the Pacific, even in the first 2 weeks of August when the DC crowd comes for the Fair, Illumination Night in OB and the end of season parties. 

    • #12
  13. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    I will offer a room in my faraway Oklahoma home to the first illegal on Martha’s Vineyard to snatch James Taylor’s guitar and stomp it to splinters.

    I’ll even buy said illegal a Frito Chili Pie as an additional welcome to civilization.

     

    • #13
  14. DaveSchmidt Coolidge
    DaveSchmidt
    @DaveSchmidt

    Unsk (View Comment):

    But isn’t it all about fairness?

    Very apropos post. A minor quibble: I believe the latest figures in the amount of “undocumented” crossing our borders during the reign of our current wondrous Supreme Leader are closer to 5 million not 2. So an update on your calc would make Martha’s Vineyard fair share minimum closer to 225.

    But in the absolutely moral necessary and quest for Social Justice, I think we would all agree some modifying factors should apply to the island since Martha Vineyard’s average family income is double that of the US and the number of Latinos is only 1/10th that of the rest of America by percentage and the number of those below the poverty line is less than 40% of average. I would suggest factors of 2x for income, 10x for race and 2.5 times for poverty or a total factor of 50 be applied to the appropriate number of illegals shipped to Martha’s Vineyard or a number like 225 x 50 = 11,250 people . So Yes, I think 11,250 illegals shipped to Martha’s Vineyard would be most equitable in our very and most noble pursuit of fairness. Don’t you think?

    The fancy restaurants have the most to fear. Some enterprising illegal migrants might set up a couple of food trucks.  

    • #14
  15. GrannyDude Member
    GrannyDude
    @GrannyDude

    Wow, that was quick!  If you have a problem, even a comparatively small spot of bother, it helps a whole, whole lot to be rich….no wonder ordinary people buy lottery tickets!  “Joe Biden denounced Ron DeSantis’s shipping of illegals to Martha’s Vineyard as “unAmerican”–Biden is quite the patriot lately–but why? The Biden administration has been flying illegals to various locations around the country, usually in the dark of night, for the last year and a half. Apparently what is “unAmerican” is sending illegal immigrants to the haunts of the rich rather than to hard-pressed working class communities.

    You can tell that no one was buying it, and DeSantis’s gambit was hurting the Democrats badly, because the migrants are already gone: “Massachusetts Gov. Activates National Guard, Sends Martha’s Vineyard Illegal Immigrants to Military Base.” Reportedly, 125 National Guard members were sent to Martha’s Vineyard to shepherd the 50 illegal immigrants to Cape Cod. Applying the same ratio, the Biden administration would have had to send 2.5 million National Guardsmen, border agents, soldiers or law enforcement personnel to Texas to deal with the one million illegals who have recently crossed the border. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Martha’s Vineyard is special.”

     “…Friday’s relocation put [the illegal immigrants]  out of sight of the island’s deep-pocketed and well-connected inhabitants, who include former Secretary of State John Kerry, comedians Amy Schumer and Seth Myers, director Spike Lee and ex-Obama aide Valerie Jarrett.”  

    Note, by the way, that in spite of the Systemic Racism that so urgently demands the Transformation of America the privilege on blatant display is  inexplicably diverse?  

    Why, given their fervently-expressed concern for the plight of illegals over the past five or six years,  haven’t the very-very-very wealthy and very-very-very progressive denizens of The Vineyard been sending their private jets down to the beleaguered overwhelmed unwelcoming & racist border towns to bring planeloads of Desperate Refugees back to their self-declared “Sanctuary”?  

    Opening their comfortable and capacious summer homes to them? The Obama’s posh property alone, has ten bathrooms—the solution to the “Humanitarian Catastrophe”  was, literally, one MV summer house! Okay, yes, the illegal immigrants are, by definition, unvetted. Legal immigrants are screened for criminal records, medical conditions, vaccination status. Illegal ones are not (progressives do grasp the distinction…don’t they?).   

    But no human being is illegal!  And we don’t have to consider the dark, paranoid fever dreams of  Walmart-shopping Deplorables in this case: MV is wall-to-wall-street  liberal democrats. Thus, their apparent alarm at the arrival of a mere fifty human souls, their reticence to fling wide the doors of second and third homes so as to provide  comfy, even luxurious accommodation to the obviously-deserving does beg the question why?  Even before the New York Times and NPR tell us what to think, we can know one thing for certain: It can have nothing whatsoever to do with the concern that when Venezuela “sends its people they’re not sending their best…”   Obama, Jarrett, Lee, Myers, Shumer, Kelly et al cannot be worried that the newcomers to their crime-free island paradise might,  for example, be rapists uncouth. Unwashed. Unvaccinated. That they could leave diphtheria germs on the cappuccino steamer,  infect the hot tub with polio (now making a comeback in New York, by the way!) stash packets of fentanyl in the butler’s pantry or wear white after Labor Day…no.

    It is none of those things.  Democrats=Totes Trustworthy! So—FBI, please take note—no one should ask questions on Facebook about the alacrity with which the National Guard was activated, or post anything snarky regarding the swiftness with which these illegals were whisked beyond the eyes and minds of our beloved cultural, economic , ideological and moral leaders.   Real, patriotic, Non-Fascist Americans should instead humbly congratulate the denizens of NIMBY Vineyard on their 24 hours of altruism and trust that the National Guard has already found some backward bitter-clinging deserving former mill town in Western Mass where they will surely feel more at home.

    • #15
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.